Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The difference between Daddies and Mommies


It was a weekend like any other. The weather was mild, and the kids were happily playing outside. They had just received permission from their daddy to ride bikes up and down the sidewalk out in front of the house. This is something we do a lot around here, but I always sit on the porch or weed the front yard flowerbeds while they ride. Adrain casually responded "Oh they'll be just fine," when I asked if he was going to hang out on the front porch while they rode.

I was forced to stand at the front window because letting them "be just fine" is something I'm apparently not capable of doing. And that got me thinking about the differences between moms and dads. There are quite a few in case you weren't clear on that. (Besides the fact that my children's daddy has biceps that positively melt me into a puddle of useless mush, whereas, I have no biceps at all by comparison.) Ahem.

We were recently picking apples with my parents. Adrain and JJ were way off down the lane, and I could see JJ climbing way high up into a tree. Adrain stood below, watching him in a relaxed attitude. I was nearest to my dad, and I remarked, "Oh I hope JJ is okay up there... I hope he doesn't fall!" My dad looked up for a second and said, "Eh- he'll be fine, if he does fall, he'll know not to do it again." Then he went right back to what he'd been doing.

I wrinkled my nose in disgust at the apparent lack of concern, and began edging toward my husband who was out of earshot. Certainly he would have something a little more protective to say when he quickly saw things my way. (snicker) When I finally got to him, I said "Honey, should JJ be up so high? What if he falls?" My husband gave me the look. You know, the adorable one that says, "You are a girl. You clearly don't get it, and I can't help you." And then because of the horror spasming across my face at all of this manly disconnect from would-be danger, he was careful to reassure me. "Oh babe, he'll be fine. If he does fall, he'll just know not to do it again."

Are you kidding me? Do they teach men this word-for-word response in Manhood 101? They were nowhere near each other, and both my father and my husband responded the exact same way! I laughed hysterically because I couldn't help myself. (for the record, my mama was just as worried as I was) And you know what? JJ didn't actually fall. Amazing.

So I decided that it's a good thing mommies and daddies are different. Because then kids get one parent who lets them climb, and one who patches them up when they fall. Sorta. You know what I mean...

36 comments:

  1. So sweet! And that photo is priceless.

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  2. Love it...I know this from my own mom and dad. Dad was always slow to anger, quick to listen and easy to get what I want from :) Mom knew way better...I can already see that developing. Just the other night my husband was telling me that "if we have a girl (IN THE FUTURE) i won't ever be able to tell her no." I thought that was funny.

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  3. This was so funny!

    Yep, my hubby is the calm one and I am the one always freaking out about everything! And 99.9 percent of the time, everything always turns out just fine.

    Beautiful picture!

    Have a great day!
    Adrienne

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  4. Sounds a lot like our family. I'm a lot more cautious then my husband. He's more of the "they'll learn" type of thought too.

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  5. I can totally relate to this post... I tend to STRESS OUT over the kids and their safety. Husband... he cares, but in a different way than I do.

    LOVE the picture... very sweet!

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  6. That's why kids need a Mommy & a Daddy!

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  7. Ha! So true... I love your last sentence about us being the ones to patch them up. Thankfully my kids aren't accident prone, though. (Did I just type that!? Oh no!)

    And for the record... I'm an arm girl myself. Give me nice arms over pecs or 6-packs anyday! *blush*

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  8. I remember one day driving into the driveway and my Nattie who was 5yrs old at the time pops her head up on the roof and says, "Hi mom! I'm helping day put up the christmas lights!" Which of course caused daddy to be in big trouble and Nattie had to get down right away... mean, mean mommy

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  9. Hm. This sounds like MY life...ALL the time. Control freak mama and Casual Calm Dad.WHY do WE have to be the ones who worry so much? It is because only WE know how much work to get them INTO this world (ya know?!) I mean, would Picasso throw the Mona Lisa around or put her in a tree? I don't THINK so! :)

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  10. Oh. PS--Picasso might do that because he didn't paint Mona Lisa. Lets change Picasso to Da Vinci ;) Hahah.

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  11. SO true!!! isn't it? and I'm REALLY good at the "worry, patch, &pray" mom-thing! wish I was a little more like the hubby!
    Blessings!
    Jill
    Oh! and that picture!!! worth a "million" words!

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  12. Stopping by from SITS - love the post - the funny thing is that it's reverse for me and my dear husband - I'm the one letting the kids climb and do kid things and he's the one worrying and fretting and being terrified of them getting hurt! LOL Love the photo of dad holding onto your son's hand - so precious! Thanks for sharing! Have a great day! Hugs, Trac~ :o)

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  13. So true, so true... I like to say, "my hubby and I are the perfect balance"!

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  14. that is too funny, I wonder what they would say if that was your sweet girl haha...I fell out of a tree once...it was bad. I love that picture of their hands!

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  15. Girl!! This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about!! Only I'm the spaz who intervines and tells my son "come down before you get hurt" I wasn't able to let go of fear enough to let my man be the Daddy and my son just BE. Not anymore!! It's not easy and i've pretty much grinded all the enamel off my teeth but i'm making progress! ;)

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  16. You know what's weird is that in our house it's kind of the opposite. Don't know if it's because we only have girls...but honey is super over protective.

    Big Chick had a shirt with shorts on underneath yesterday. And he had a fit thinking they were too short. I thought they were fine. They were no shorter than shorts, but he about freaked out.

    Apparently that is his worst nightmare...that our little girls will grow up and dress sleazy or something. Like I would ever let THAT happen. Oh the teenage years are going to be challenging in our house!

    Have a great day my Sasha friend:)

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  17. i am thankful that sometimes it is the same parent who lets you fall and then patches you up!!

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  18. I am not a parent, but this had me laughing out loud (as your blog often does). I totally agree with you though - Moms and Dads are different, and there is a reason this is so. It is like a checks and balances of parenting.

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  19. So So true!! I love this story, my hubby and I are the same way...he laughs when my son does something he shouldn't and I give him the stink eye...but I suppose you are right they are ok in the end! Great story, your write so well and it is so easy to follow!

    Cheers~
    Tara

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  20. Sounds like me and my husband. I love the photo.

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  21. This is soooo true. We have always had those conversations when our kids were smaller. Even now that they are grown I think it hasn't changed.

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  22. What a great post. I clicked over today after I read a comment you left on Pioneer Woman about purging your closet also : ) So nice to meet you. I LOVE that picture. I think the same thing you do about my husbands parenting ALL THE TIME. Boys are totally from a different planet, aren't they?

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  23. sasha, i love that last phrase...one that lets them climb & one that picks them up ....ya'll will have those roles the rest of your life. its always suprising to me the times when my hubby and i actually switch the roles too.
    xo

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  24. I'm most def the worrier! And the hubs says to just let him be. We balance each other out for sure!

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  25. Hello and greetings from New Zealand!
    After 30 years, sweetie, I can tell you that it doesn't change! Men are men and we are sweet cupcakes! Just the way the Good Lord intended.
    I am enjoying having a visit with you and look forward to coming by again. So glad I found you.

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  26. Sorry Sasha, but I too would have that attitude with kids climbing. If they fell they won't do that again or they will not do it that way again, they will find another better way of doing it. lol My boys didn't climb until they were older it was actually Jeni who was the climber.. Yep, our dear little Jeni, the smallest and the bravest.

    Mom Carrick

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  27. That is what makes us such a good team! Mama can be sweet and loving and Daddy can make them tougher!

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  28. I love this blog, just found it this morning...I too love Lemons..everything about them! Maybe it is because my mom's last name was Lemon! I have been blogging for about a year now and love it. My daughters made me learn to do it and I'm glad I listened to them. Come say hi on mine if you'd like...
    (www.circlecliffviews.blogspot.com)

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  29. So true. Dad's seem to be the more laid back daredevils while the moms keep it all in perspective. Ok maybe that is just at our house:) Love that picture.

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  30. Well...AMEN is about all I have to say to this one. I look at my husband sometimes like he has 10 eyeballs when he says "oh--they'll be fine.".....I just give a big old sigh and go take care of things myself. I'm used to that.

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  31. AHHH love the photo! There is such a difference... thank goodness for the balance between mommies and daddies!! My husband will let our kids get all dirty outside and not even think about the dirt they are tracking in after play time. I stand at the door telling them to take off their shoes wash their hands etc... and he would look at me like what they're messy!
    LuLu

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  32. I hear you screamin' sister! I was thinking the same thing the other day...I feel like a mother hen all the time, while my husband is worry free!! ARggghhh!

    Very sweet hands in the photo!!

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  33. Exactly!! But I think I may have sat in on a day or two of Man 101, because I have a complete mixture of reactions. My boy, stuck 15 feet up in a tree, at the tender age of 4 years proved it. But then, I have to find the balance between tender and tough as a single parent. But you certainly touched on something when you said - it's the mommies that tend to patch the kids up! And the guys that get to brag about the scars!! There are actual songs about boys who say their scars were worth it!! Now put little Ava up in the tree and just SEE if the Daddies' react the same, then!!!! I just love at how you find all the laughable moments in life!! I am starting to look to you (your blog) for that daily dose of life's laughter. Sometimes I forget. Thanks for the reminder, dear Sasha!!

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  34. You are absolutely right love, mommies and daddies work the best together when they balance each other out. If it weren't for my hubby, Jer would wrapped in bubble wrap, sitting in a corner. It's interesting 'cause when dad & son are off doing their typical daredevil stuff, while I'm on the edge of their shenanigans biting my nails hoping no one gets a concussion or broken bone, my boy is always like, "Mommm, it's cool, I'm a boy!". But who does he run to when he DOES get hurt? MOI!! So yes dear, I couldn't agree with you more. :-)

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  35. I love this post! There is definitely a reason why it's good for kids to have mommies AND daddies! Which is another soapbox I could get into about why adoption is such a positive thing! :)
    Cracks me up that your hub and dad said the exact same thing...wonder if that was staged because they knew you'd react? ;)

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