Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Let me tell you how I feel about kites...

Kite flying, in my opinion, is a sick joke. Oh it all starts out so innocently. Your child gets a kite in the midst of a birthday gift-opening flurry, and you stash it away for a rainy windy day. You think your children have forgotten about it, but the first day that has even the softest breath of wind, and they are jumping up and down begging to go fly kites. Children have the memory of an elephant, in case you weren't aware of that. They forget nothing when it comes to birthday presents.
While driving to the playground, they occupy themselves with bouncing up and down on the backseat, singing, "Let's go fly a kite" from Mary Poppins. What did I tell you? Innocent. But don't be fooled.
You lick your finger and hold it up to see what direction the wind is blowing, and your baby begins to unravel the string, pure joy lighting up her features. She has no idea what's in store for her with this kite. And frankly, neither do you. You've been semi-imagining laughing children, running back and forth with a kite gently swaying, high up above. You can see it dip and dive, and everyone is smiling in your little ignorant daydream. You are under the false impression that this kite is your friend.
The first thing you know, the Daddy is giving general instructions, setting the kite up, and getting the children off running. He barely misses decapitation from a low-flying, wayward kite string, as children go running in opposite directions. Then the kite gets dragged for a quarter of a mile, as children easily forget to run and watch the kite. No one can hear anyone in the wind, and you are suddenly very aware that it's freezing cold out here.
Next thing you know, people are quitting all over the place. Key people. Star people. Kite runner types, that are supposed to be in charge of this operation. They are just throwing down their kite in disgust, and letting the wind take over...
Staring off into the heavens, imagining what might have been if only they were the boss. But here's the truth. The kite is the boss. It's got a mind of it's own, and you need to develop a healthy respect for it.
Because if you don't, in the end, your left lying on the cold, hard, ground, with a kite that won't lift, wondering who dared to give you this for your birthday seven months ago, because you want to give them a piece of your mind right about now.
But then... like a sunny break in the clouds, the Daddy comes through and saves the day with Frisbees, basketballs, and fun.

Because bossy kites are no match for a Daddy like this, any day of the week.

(Prrrrrrrr..... )


53 comments:

  1. I agree. I don't think they were really meant for kids. One summer my husband tied one to a fishing pole and he got it very high and it stayed there for a long time. The kids got to watch, and hold the pole once in a while.

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  2. prrrr... You always crack me up. Yes! Kites are the death of me. We live next to a large open park. Should work, right? Wrong! Many, many failed attempts..

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  3. You are hilarious. The truth is funny that way...

    Sort of like how I hide "messy" craft gifts like Moon Sand or "finger paint" that always inevitably ends up on carpet, or unintended body cavities!!!

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  4. Yeah! Daddy to the rescue. Man I always hated kites as a kid. You'd take them out all excited and five minutes later your stuck in a tree and out of luck.

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  5. I have a kite story that will forever go down in history and will forever be the funniest thing to my husband at my expense of course. This was when my girls were about 3. Emily LET GO of the string. The kite was about 6 ft off the ground...just out of reach. So I go running after it. The wind would slow and speed up. I would catch up to it and just about have it and the wind would pick up again and I was left grasping at air..and running. Let's not forget the running part. This went on for about 150 yards..I kid you not. I look back finally after WINNING...and my husband is rolling in laughter. He actually said - that was painful to watch - like watching Edgar Martinez run the bases. If you don't know what I am talking about... never good to be compared to Edgar martinez unless its for home runs. Oh, well...I am glad I can be a source of amusement for my family...IT ROCKS!!

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  6. I've never met a kite I could actually fly. Oh I love watching them sweep and swirl. But mine always stay stubbornly on the ground. But your ground looks very, very cold. Good try, though.

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  7. thank you for putting this into writing...i always have and always will hate flying kites...oh the bitter disappointment and failure i feel after a few minutes of kite flying!!

    thank you dear friend...
    i'm glad i am not alone.

    chasity

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  8. Oh my. You really do like that sweet thang of yours, don't you?

    Yeah, kites are the pits.

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  9. Once again, I smiled the whole way through reading this, knowing for a fact, that you are absolutely right. How many times did the anticipation build...then how many times it so quickly died. Oh, the disappointment that followed. If only we would have planned ahead like you two did. Great post!

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  10. Yes, many of our "difficult" gifts go directly to a bag that the children are unaware of: "children whose parents are more patient than I, or who only have 1 child and no daytime job...or a nanny."

    Sometimes if it's iffy, I'll stick it up in the top of the closet to see if I like it better when they're a bit older/more independent/less messy.


    Shhh...they still don't know. The actual bagging usually happens at night after the party is over and everyone's sleeping and the new toys are strewn everywhere and nothing has a new home yet. Sneaky, sneaky.

    I think 1/3 of our Christmas gifts from other relatives went into this bag this year. A girl's gotta survive, you know?

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  11. Last year Bella's kite got caught up in a tree. The world was ending as she knew it. Hubs came home, got the ladder and went to the playground and fetched that darn kite out of the tree. This year, we "forgot" to get them out!

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  12. Ohhhh..that was cute! I agree about those kites and on top of that, I used to worry about them touching something that would then kill them! Yea for good dad's who care enough to be there! Your daughter is so beautiful too. I wonder how the kite business has survived, don't you!
    Come say hi :D

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  13. Oh yeah -- kite-flying looks fabulous -- but in real life, it doesn't measure up! Nice that Dad came to the rescue with more fun!

    Janet

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  14. Yes, I growl every time i see a kite given to my kids. I hate those things. Have never ever gotten them to fly! ugh. Cute pictures. love the hat!

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  15. I never had fun with a kite as a kid!!
    GREAT post to remind me: No Kites in the Midge's future!!!
    You always make me giggle ;)

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  16. Wow, this brings back memories! I always hated flying kites as a kid. They're such contrary things.

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  17. LOL - too cute - sorry the kite messed up the day but thank goodness for dad's to the rescue! YAY! :o) Love the picts of your daughter on the ground with that pitiful look on her face - TOO PRECIOUS! :O)

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  18. Sasha, I can't tell you enough how much I LOVE your blog!! You write so well with such a wit that gets me laughing even when I'm in a zombie state because my coffee hasn't kicked in yet. Promise you won't stop any time soon!! ;)

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  19. Aaaahahahaha - this CRACKED me up - especially this: "Next thing you know, people are quitting all over the place. Key people. Star people. Kite runner types, that are supposed to be in charge of this operation. They are just throwing down their kite in disgust, and letting the wind take over..." - LOVE IT! You are HILARIOUS, in case you didn't know :)

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  20. So on my son's 3rd birthday invitation I will put a P.S. at the bottom that says please refrain from buying kites as presents, thank you in advance! :) Cute post and hooray for daddies who save the day!

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  21. Oh Sasha I know your pain! I too have been there. However I have also been on the flip side. Brian got a kite one time that ACTUALLY WORKED! I also must tell you that some of the fondest memories I have of growing up is sitting on the beach in Oregon with my new kite (and it was an expensive one which I think the more expensive they are the more likely they are to work) and it just going higher and higher while I sat holding tight to that string. Hang in there girl!

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  22. Sasha you are so funny. I enjoy your posts each and every day.

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  23. You know, that's pretty much how I feel about balloons. I must've had one pop in my face when I was little or something because every time I see one I about freak out. We've tried taking the kids out when they were little to fly kites at a park and they find the playground equipment and off they go, then my husband and I are trying to get the stupid thing to work. You are just TOO hilarious!!

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  24. We were never into kite flying. We tried a few times, but it was always too windy in our part of the world. Seriously. Our kites would get torn up to pieces.

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  25. They should come with a warning for parents. I was caught also, not by the wind. It was almost 100F the day my girls insisted we fly their kite. Needless to say Mummy was running her butt off in the heat while they all staying the playground in the shade.

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  26. ~snort~ This post was so perfect in so many ways. You are hilarious!

    Side note: I've never seen a blow up kite before.

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  27. LOL!!! Girl, you are so funny. I loved this post!

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  28. What the heck is prrrr?:) You are so funny! Kites don't happen in our house. So in my book you are "fun mom", for even pulling the thing out of the closet and attempting such a feat!

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  29. That reminds me of the time i tripped while running backwards trying to fly a kite and landed on my butt right on a cactus plant...yah kites arent all they are cracked up to be. Oh and when your at the beach trying to relax, but you can't b/c someone has chosen to fly their diving bird kite right next to you and you cant keep your eyes off it for fear its going to dive right into your head. Gotta love that. Kites used to be so mystical to me the sign of spring the out like a lion winds opportunities to fly a kite. well you are right on sister .

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  30. Awright, that tears it! I am jumping in with both feet. Not only am I a follower but I just snagged your button!
    Too funny, girl, too funny!

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  31. Oh! I used to LOVE to fly a kite!!!!!!!!!!

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  32. The only place that I'll fly a kite anymore is at the beach! No trees! That's where the end up in my neck of the woods! I love to sit back in my beach chair and watch the kites billow!

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  33. oh i'm with you! disaster everytime!!!
    xo,
    LuLu

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  34. Ha ha! Never thought about it like that, but we never played with kites for long. Maybe if we did it like they do in other places where your strings are sharp and you try to cut each others....hmmm?!

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  35. Hilarious. Those photos of your child on the ground made me laugh out loud. I hate flying kites...but my husband loves it...go figure.

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  36. Hahah!! Smiling ear to ear reading this! You are so entertaining. I just love the way you write.

    Note to self: hide all kites from Bug.

    :o)
    Elle

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  37. Kite flying stresses me out, which is why it's always good to put the ever always patient husband in charge! Kids can't fly kites without parents! It's so frustrating because they really cannot do it on their own and they get frustrated because the parent is trying to get it up in the air, which is really whatt they visualize in their heads what they should be doing! How agonizing!

    I am so glad your nudist neighbor finished her paint job. Yes, it does need to match the trim, but then, maybe she's going to paint the trim?

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  38. Daddies are so good at saving the day! I loved this post. :)

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  39. Hi I enjoyed reading you tale of kite flying and unfortunately its a too often told one! The trouble starts with those who make and sell kites, many don't care if what they are selling fly's or not, all they are interested in is getting your hard earned cash into thier gruby little hands!
    I find it very annoying when I see enthusiastic young children trying so hard to get something into the air that will never fly no matter what you do, and the only way to stop this is to boycott buying kites from all but shops or outlets that only sell kites and the person selling the kite knows what he/she is talking about, if they can't tell you what a keel is or a bridle then don't buy one of thier kites!
    With the proper equipment kite flying can be great fun for people of ALL ages and its good exercise as well,so go get a proper kite and have fun out there, kindest regards Peter Linn.
    http://peterlinnkites.blogspot.com

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  40. I love your kite issues, prrrr...whew...is it hot in here?

    great photographic documentation.

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  41. That would be why I refuse to take my kids flying kites unless we are at the beach. Otherwise, it's just disappointment in the making...grrrrr

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  42. Kite flying is truly an acquired skill. I think we flew kites only once that I have a faint recollection of. I did see a kid and his dad actually have success with kite flying in the park last summer--very impressive.

    Congrats on your SITS day!

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  43. When she gets older, she may love them. My best friend loves kites. We even flew them at her wedding reception.

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  44. Some of the best belly laughs of my life have come from watching my husband run to get a kite going. He's quite a kite flyer, but it is always a challenge!

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  45. Oh my, you've said it. We live in what is apparently the most windless capital city in the world, so kites are a double whammy.

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  46. Oh I remember those days. I don't' think I ever flew a kite more than once each year!

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  47. Great post! Stopping by from SITS.

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  48. lol! that is such a funny and cute post! My kids are still too young for kite flying, but I know my days are numbered. and what an awesome (and prepared) Daddy!!

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  49. The only time I've enjoyed kite flying is on a warm beach. enough said...

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  50. I remember making a kite in school and then taking it out to fly it with my Dad to no avail...But isn't it funny that I still remember that?

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  51. Hey!!! I live in the land of kites. Down heres we have the day after halloween a celebration "the day of the saints and the dead"... and there´s this little town called Sumpango, where they make HUGE Kites and they flythem that day. Its a really nice holiday =) If you are interested http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=338229&id=631155716 here are my facebook photos.. im gonna post some on my blog anyway but kites are sacred ;) loved your post!!!

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