Thursday, March 18, 2010

I've taken to freaking out about my mail.

I came home and was excited to see that I had a handwritten (or so it appeared) letter waiting for me on the counter.  There wasn't a return address, so I paused a moment to consider the handwriting.  It wasn't from a girlfriend, because I know all of their handwriting. Well... only one way to find out who'd be sending me some delightful missive, so I turned it over, and tore into it expectantly. I opened it up to reveal a newspaper clipping.  Oddly, there was a post-it note attached with a simple message of, "Sasha, I love Dr. Prager- Give him a try! J."  My mind instantly raced with questions.  "Who in the hello is J?" And, "Why do they want me to visit this guy?"  "Have I done a blog on dentists lately?"  "Why no return address?"

I scanned the article about this dentist and quickly came up with my verdict. - I was being stalked by an orthodontist, somewhere.  And then I promptly freaked out.   (And if you think I'm kidding, you haven't been reading my blog very long.) Luckily, Adrain breezed in with his muscley forearms, and flipped through the mail pile.  When he saw my stricken eyes, he said, "Sash- it's not a weirdo- it's just an advertisement.  See? Compare the writing.  It's computer-generated. Relax."

But of course I didn't. 

I had to know for sure.  So I called the number in the "article."  When it reached a school district, I may or may not have, wet my pants.  But then I regrouped and dialed again, with area code.  And then I was directed to Dr. Prager's receptionist.

Poor girl. She never saw me coming.

I made her call the appropriate people to make sure that the "very creepy letter/advertisement ploy with no return address" had indeed come from them, while I waited on hold.  And when she confirmed it, rather sheepishly, I told her very politely, that this was by far, the creepiest form of advertising I'd even seen.  And that in case she'd missed it, I was rather creeped out by the entire experience of getting a newspaper clipping with post-it note and no return address, in the mail.  Because it was creepy.  

And then I got off the phone, stomped on the letter, and declared that I'd never visit Dr. Prager if he was the last dentist on the earth!!

To which Adrain looked up and calmly replied, "Yes you would."

Clearly, he does not know the bounds of my drama.

Or perhaps he just knows the bounds of my dental hygiene obsession. 

Please excuse me, I need to go floss.


47 comments:

  1. ok, who are you and why arnt we bff's??? This made me laugh right out loud I tell ya!!! I would have had that same crazy overly dramatic response ( not that you are dramatic or crazy... Are you?) I digress. Well, you were right and he didnt take this ovbiously serious threat seriously enough. Now, what I would do is make an appt with this so called "Dentist" and see if he stalks all his potential patients in this manor. Or you coud just throw it out and forget about the entire thing :) Funny post. xoxo LA

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha, ha. Sometimes one neurosis gets trumped by another...at least that's what I find happening around here.
    That's pretty funny. And, yes, weird.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This IS creepy. But I know the form of advertisement. They use it often in Germany to advertise newspapers.
    They'll attach a little post-it note saying something like "You gotta check this newspaper out. I loved it. Have a nice day. K." Then they put it into your mail. So, at first sight you THINK it's from a friend...
    I really hate it when they're doing it...

    ReplyDelete
  4. This one made me giggle!

    You're such a great detective. A regular Agatha Christie!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Advertisers always try to make you feel like they know you! Little do they know that some of us will take extreme measures to keep them from harrassing us...lol.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Advertisers always try to make you feel like they know you! Little do they know that some of us will take extreme measures to keep them from harrassing us...lol.

    ReplyDelete
  7. that is creepy! and hilarious... :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. *giggle*

    It is a tad creepy. I think it's so funny that you called to confirm. I actually think I've received something similar with the "handwriting" before. And thought who the heck is this?

    ReplyDelete
  9. let me tell you that some WIERDO really showed up at my home.
    so...now we have an unlisted number and i won't be having anymore sales from the carriage house in back.
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sasha,

    My husband has gotten TWO of those creepy letters in the mail in the last 6 months! Except his is for Toyota. The exact same thing, a yellow handwritten post it note, only signed with an initital and part of the cars for sale section of the newspaper. I agree, it is totally creepy.

    And you are too funny, I react the exact SAME way!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Eeeeewwww! I am so creeped out. Sasha, you can come hide in my bunker. Wayell, I don't really have one, but if I did, you could come hide in it. BAH! I feel like a spider just ran up my leg. Somebody, fetch me the smelling salts. I feel faint.

    "brohous"

    ReplyDelete
  12. OMStars-try getting one regarding a 'diet program'! Sent me straight to a bag of chips with dip-which one of my friends think I'm fat, does some stranger think I'm fat, does someone in my town think I'm fat, does the bag boy at the grocery store think I'm fat - WHO THINKS I'M FAT?!?!?! Not good! ;o)

    Have a blessed day!

    ReplyDelete
  13. So impressed that you followed through! They are creepy and I think I will follow your example next time I get one!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ok, that is uber creepy. I would have done the exact same thing. Who thinks of this stuff.. and more importantly, who in their right mind would actually GO to that practice after recieveing such strange mail? Good for you girl. Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  15. LOL! I got something similar in the mail the other day, totally random, about some biochemist or something ridiculous. Seriously, mailamarketers, what's next???

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh girl I think you need another day off with mwah!! I see a tea room, some pottery and maybe a walk or 5 in our future! You crack me up so bad. This was almost too much. I'm gonna have to start wearing depends as I read your blog:))

    ReplyDelete
  17. My heart started racing for you I was so creeped out. I love how our husbands can be so calm with things like this. I'm glad you freaked and called the dentist's office. Hopefully they will do some different advertising in the future. You go girl!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Whoa. I got one of those for some vague diet program once or something. If it had pointed me to a local business, I would've done the same thing you did. What a skeezy ad campaign!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm with you -- that IS creepy! What a nutcase. Cross that dentist off the list. Have been having my own "dentist" problems lately!

    Hope you have a good weekend! :)

    janet

    ReplyDelete
  20. We get stuff like that, too. Well, not from Dr. Prager, but weirdo's like him that stalk potential customers.

    Yay for you for calling them, that is what I'd do. Let them know their tactics are scary...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Good for you for calling them and giving the what for! I am so tired of the way that people advertise these days. The way they act like we are pals annoys me.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I agree, totally creepy! I think I got a couple of those with articles about refinancing and they threw both my husband and me for a loop as we tried to figure out who would send us something like that. I'm glad you called!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh my goodness I LOVE you!! You make me laugh like no one else!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh, man. I've freaked out about mail like that before too... until I calmed down and inspected it very closely. I agree... it is beyond creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  25. That is so funny...and yes way creepy!~ To me if an orthodontist needs to go to those extremes of advertising he must not be that good! You go girl, I like your attitude!!~

    ReplyDelete
  26. I really, really, really dislike this advertising tactic. It does feel creepy. I'm glad you followed through. I will next time.

    For now I just throw them away.

    But now, because of you LMM, I will go forth and fight for my rights to not be creeped out about my mail in the future.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Slowly step away from the mail and no one will get hurt!

    Too funny!

    Have a great weekend with bicep man.

    Robin~♥

    ReplyDelete
  28. Holy canoli, that is some seriously creeped out Post Its fakey fakiness advertising.

    How dare he besmirch the good name of Post Its??

    ReplyDelete
  29. Um, yeah... I don't like anything about that. You've got to wonder who thought that up.

    ReplyDelete
  30. OK so I'm the biggest dork ever. I didn't realize you had gone to a website and I thought your last post was blogapolooza because that was what was showing up on my blogger updates!

    I will spend the remaining time at work reading up.

    ReplyDelete
  31. You crack me up Sasha! Thank goodness for Adrain in those moments. He didn't send me one...I guess he really is stalking YOU. He doesn't want me. Looking forward to next week.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I hate those advertisments too. It really is creepy. So glad you called and told them too!

    ReplyDelete
  33. So weird! Anything to get our attention and to sell their product! It is strange! Come say hi :D

    ReplyDelete
  34. This is creepy. It should be illegal. But even though it's scary.. you find a way yo cuten it up and make us laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  35. sasha...
    boy i've been missing you and your funny stories.

    thanks for always making me smile.

    happy spring~

    chasity

    ReplyDelete
  36. i'm so with you...we had the same type ad-mail and it's.....just wrong. it gets your attention, but not the good kind.

    whoever talks these dentists-businesses into this *little clever advertising trick* is NOT their friend. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I hear a calling for decorative undercover detective ;) too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  38. That is sooo funny! I thought it was creepy the first time I got one of those too! You calling the office was the best.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I wish I could stop 3/4 of the mail in my mailbox! I would call the Better Business Bureau. How could you trust a dentist like that? I would have been really frustrated, too! It's a shame the U.S. Mail has become the Stalker Mail Delivery System!

    ReplyDelete
  40. I literally laughed out loud. ...which confirms to my husband that I am a little crazy....

    hilarious. absolutely hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  41. i love a woman who can throw
    a tantrum and be hilarious while
    doing it!

    what a scummy ploy of that
    ortho.

    ReplyDelete
  42. GOOD FOR YOU~ on calling the creepo dr. about his advertising. I hate not-so-honest advertising.

    ReplyDelete
  43. BAAhhhh! That is pretty funny! I would have done the same thing...HA!

    ReplyDelete
  44. It is creepy!!! We have gotten some like that in the mail and compltely freaked me out the first time!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Ha! I just read this after the reading about the 'short set'..(yeah, I would have thought the same thing)...and when I read the note in the photo I thought it said, I like Dr Pepper, you should give him a try. All I could think was, is this some weird note from P-Dub? Strange but true. Then again, last week I thought they were showing films on the side of an old barn. I may need help. : )

    ~Andrea~

    ReplyDelete