This adventure seeking has been a lot like riding on a roller coaster lately. You see, I was pretty sure that if I was joyfully surrendered, and fearlessly obedient, God would immediately, and with out delay, do whatever I thought He should do. I mean, I was asking to serve Him after all, right?
Apparently, I still hadn't gotten it.
I'm always amazed by my own lack of faith. And I've had some really crazy prayers answered over the course of my life, that when stacked up, should have credited huge quantities of faith to my eternal account. For example, there was that time when I was broke and pregnant with my first child, and I prayed for a free treadmill. The next day, the owner of a fitness center came into the bank where I worked, and asked me, "If I had any interest in a free treadmill that he was looking to get rid of." Then there was a day a few years ago, when I was hosting a garage sale, and financially really needing to sell my daughter's old bed. We hadn't had any takers, but then again, we hadn't had much traffic all day. I paused, and prayed about it, and two minutes later, a van turned down our street, pulled in, and the people in it bought Ava's bed. There have been other times that were just a crazy as these, but for some reason, I lack faith on a pretty regular basis. My faith is strong as long as the answers are immediate. Make me wait a day or more, and I'm suddenly convinced that there's an empty void in the cosmos. (Honesty with my own self stinks sometimes.)
The other day, as I was blubbering about my house not selling yet, (which I know, is ridiculous in the scheme of people's very real problems and life threatening issues in the world today) I forced myself to do a simple faith exercise. I went back through my prayer journal, and began listing every piece of scripture I've been given over the past few weeks, and worked my way backward. Guess what I found?
I serve a God who:
1.) forgives and doesn't count my sins against me. (2 Corinthians 5:19)
2.) has a plan for a hope and a future for me. (Jeremiah 29:11)
3.) reaches down, rescues me, takes me to a spacious place, and delights in me. (2 Samuel 22:17-20)
4.) hears me, encourages me, listens to me, and defends me. (Psalm 10:17-18)
5.) works out everything. (Ephesians 1:11)
6.) works for a purpose. (Philippians 2:13)
7.) works all things together for good. (Romans 8:28)
8.) cares even for the smallest of birds and keeps them near. (Psalm 84:3)
9.) blesses those who dwell in His house. (Psalm 84:4)
10.) withholds no good thing (Psalm 84:11)
I don't know what God is planning in my life or yours, for that matter. But I do know this. We're safe. We can breathe. We can relax. We can trust.
There is no void in our cosmos. Just a very real God who; forgives/doesn't hold our sins against us/has a plan for a hope and a future/rescues and delights in us/hears, encourages, listens, and defends us/works out everything, for a purpose, together for good/cares for things much smaller than us/blesses each of us who dwell in his presence/and promises to withhold no good thing from us!
So, what do you do when you're waiting....The seconds are slipping by, yet nothing is happening? Read on...
(all images, Corbis)