Friday, December 3, 2010

The children were nestled, all snug in their beds...

Last night, as I tucked Ava into bed, she reached her little arms up and said, "Mama will you lay down for a little while?"  Both of my babies have always loved it when I lay down beside them, get under the covers and put my head onto the pillow.  Often, as is the case with most children from what I gather, it's in those quiet moments in the dark, just before bed, when they speak their hearts to me. She sighed in contentment, and nestled close to me, winding her arms around me.  "Mama, I've been wanting to talk to you.  I'm really sad about something."  I was surprised, because everything had seemed fine earlier that evening, so I asked, "What is it baby?"  She replied, "Well, I've just been thinking about all the orphans in India and Alaska (she meant Africa) and how they only get to eat dinner one time a day or even one time a week.. and I get to eat three times a day, plus snacks!  It's just not fair, Mama!"  I pulled her close to me and breathed a prayer of thanks for such a tenderhearted child and said, "Oh sweetheart.  That is exactly why, as a family, we are trying to sell our home and live our life differently.  We can make such a difference if we remember what is really out there."  Still trying to drive her point home, she said, "I know, but it's still not fair!"

I haven't written much about our journey lately, because I don't like to be a downer, and I've felt like such a downer!  Over the course of the past seven months, we've fallen in love with three different homes. In fact, we even placed an extended contingency on one of them, not once, but twice.  Nothing budged. We sometimes feel so desperate to move past this point so that we can go out and do some good, that we (I) fail to see the here and now. Just this morning, a fresh wave of "what ifs" washed over me.  What if the prompting we felt to change our lives came from us.  What if God wasn't in this at all?  What if all the people who say things like, "Well perhaps God just wanted to see if you were willing," were actually right? (Don't even get me started on that one.)


I could have let that overtake my heart and mangle my day.  Instead, I pleaded with my Heavenly Daddy.  I begged him to somehow let me know if the past seven months were just some Adrain-Sasha driven desire.  I asked Him to show me if I should give up hope?


I logged on to my daily devotions.  It opened with this verse; "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:7-9  It went on to talk about the story of Ruth.  You might remember that this story was a road marker along the way earlier this summer?  The devotional highlighted the fact that choosing to trust God is a daily thing. 

I know that so many of you are on a journey of your own.  I read your letters and emails, and I pray for you too.  Know this- today I am praying that God breathes fresh hope into our situations, no matter how hopeless it feels.  I know that some of you don't even believe in God, but you are in a pickle and you are feeling done, exhausted, and like you can't take it anymore.  I am praying for you too.  The encouragement I got today wasn't a coincidence.  It came from a very real God.  Today, I relax, knowing that God is total control of everything that feels unfair in this old world.  May you be able to do the same.

And let's not forget the orphans in Alaska.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6




21 comments:

  1. Love this post! And I love how we can nestle up close to Jesus and tell him the things on our heart...and He hears. Thankful for your transparency.

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  3. There isn't a word in the Hebrew language for coincidence! It's all in God's PERFECT timing! :) Thank you for your encouragement!

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  4. Well, of course there are orphans in Alaska....

    Sometimes the Lord just seems to be saying 'wait.' I don't know why...which is a good thing, cuz if little ole me could figure out the mind of God then we'd all be in trouble.

    And those are sweet times cuddling in the dark with our little ones.

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  5. You shouldn't be afraid of being a downer. I think your desire to follow God's will is such a breath of fresh air. We all know that in doing so there is always a degree of difficulty or pain as we struggle to adjust our desires to his desires and his timing. That is something we can all identify with. So lay it all out there sista! lol No one's going to think less of you for that.

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  6. Smiles, Sasha. You have such a beautiful heart.

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  7. Your blog is part of you - don't be afraid to speak what's in your heart! It's what you do best!

    Praying for you and those Alaskan orphans...

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  8. What a sweet girl you are raising and what a sweet post! It's hard to understand the Lord's timing on things but it's obvious you are seeking first His kingdom and righteousness so all those other things will be...added unto you. Love & blessings girl!

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  9. Love this! My boys love our bedtime snuggles too but, I love even more.

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  10. That's some good stuff girl. Keep it comin'. I love Ava's little heart. My girls will do the same thing at night. That's when they want to share their day. She's pretty sensitive to God's will if she's thinking of orphans and such...something good is happening in that home of yours.

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  11. Oh, 7 month is a very short wait...You hold on, in time it will all be clear! In the meantime lets turn our attention to the Alaskan orphans. When I read your post I forgot about your "Journey" thanks for the reminder

    Carol

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  12. Thank you for this post, I needed to see this tonight!

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  13. What a sweet girl you have. Keep praying. As will I. I have been praying for God to breathe fresh life into me, to guide me. I have been searching for a job for almost 2 years now.

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  14. You are wonderful and so is your little girl. :)
    Have you read the book Radical by David Platt?

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  15. We have been on a "broken road" longest-ever-adoption journey. We know God put us here, but I have to admit we sometimes wonder why.

    Then I found Paul's words while he was in chains encouraging. "But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way...Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice..." -Phil. 1:18-19

    God will show you in time what He has planned, and it will be far better than we could have hoped. Meanwhile. Rejoice!

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  16. love what God is doing in your family in the journey of waiting....

    waiting is hard....but so much is learned and so much is surrendered during those times....

    love your heart.

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  17. Thank you for the words of encouragement. It was just want I needed this morning as we our taking first steps of faith and obedience on a new journey as well.

    Have a wonderful weekend!

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  18. Very well said and thank you for having a transparent heart about your life. Stay on your knees God will answer!

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  19. Oh darn, I keep forgetting.
    When is it again, that God is good?
    Oh yeah...ALL the time! What good is having a God who is not with you in the deepest and darkest?

    I had a pastor that told us "When you drive somewhere at night do your headlamps light the whole way home from the parking lot? No? Only the few feet in front of your car?? How scary! And yet we do it all the time without even thinking about it because we have *learned to trust* that the piece of road we are about to drive on will be illuminated when we need it."
    Glory to God! Because HE is faithful, I carry on.
    (((Sasha and Ava)))

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  20. I love when that happens. Those moments where you know God has put into place a verse or a song.. or maybe a message at church. So many times someone in my family will say" that was just for me". And it was.

    Sasha, have you heard that song called "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller? His lyrics talk about waiting on God and being obedient and confident in the waiting. Don't lose faith Sasha (and the rest of us) Stop questioning Gods motives.. believe He will, have faith He will. HE WILL!
    Ava has a big heart! What a gift to be able to experience all Gods goodness in her.

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  21. I stumbled across your blog. Not even quite certain how I linked here, but I was so deeply touched by two things about this post: 1) is that you have learned that when you get quiet and close to your children (most often late at night) that they indeed will speak their heart to you. It may seem natural now, but when they are teenagers, it is a treasure of a truth to hold on to so that you can seize and make the most of those moments. Secondly, I thought perhaps your daughter did speak correctly. Perhaps indeed there was and is an orphan in Alaska who very much needed and received the intercession of one precious little girl before the Heavenly Father on that night. It was not a slip of the tongue, but a translation from the Holy Spirit. I am almost sure of it...

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