Monday, January 17, 2011

The double rainbow at the end of my day

I feel this every January.  It shouldn't take me by surprise, but it always does.  The rain pours down, the skies darken and threaten permanence with their serious shades of gray.  All the while, my heart grows weary of oh, just everything.  This year, I'm in the same place, but it's altogether different because I'm in a different place.  (I know, I make such perfect sense, I blow your mind.) I haven't written a post in my Adventure Chronicles category in what seems like forever, because I haven't had anything to say that you haven't already heard. Nearly nine months ago, we said, "Yes" to what we felt God was asking of us.  We excitedly put our home on the market, knowing that God would surely lead us the rest of the way.  Only...so far, nothing (outwardly) has changed in our world.  The thing we were/are most hopeful about hasn't yet materialized- though it still might, and the minute I can discuss it here I will.  Our house also hasn't sold, and the tiny and affordable home we fell in love with and spent countless days (120 to be exact) under contract for, hoping it would soon be ours, still hasn't come into our grasp. We let it go months ago, and are just riding the tide of uncertainty.  And we're mostly cool with it. 


When I look back over the past months, I think about a few things.  The main thing, is the fact that I could have had a baby in all this time, and my life would certainly have changed!  I did not have a baby, and yet my life is changed in nearly every way.  Some I can expose, and some are too private to share.  I began this journey with such gusto.  Excitement for the faith adventure, and yet terror for the unknown shadows of our future.  Both of those feelings have dimmed some, in light of time and space.  God's faithfulness has never dimmed, however.  As I was verbally processing the past nine months with Adrain, I said something that I want to share with you here because this whole post is ultimately about hope, and hope should always be shared!

I had recently (I'm ashamed to admit) begun to question whether this entire scheme was dead.  I likened it to watching a heart monitor bounce up and down (technical term) while there's life.  At some point over the past months, it flat lined and I felt sure the entire ordeal was dead.  It flat lined for quiet a while, and though the turn of a new year revived it briefly, the fact remained that I felt I was looking at a dead thing.  About a week ago, I told all of this to my man.  Then, I let the tears fall as I poured out my heart to God and begged him, "God, I just need to know if this thing is dead?  Is it over?  Is it going to happen?  Do we bury it and move on?  Is there any life in it at all because I'm lost.  I need a blip in the screen.  I don't care how/where/why/what, but if this thing ISN'T dead, You've just got to show me a blip." 

Have you ever asked God for a blip?  Yeah, me either.  I'm pretty sure He's gotten some stranger requests though.

Three days later, my screen blipped. We got a call, after nearly three months of silence, that someone wanted to come and see our home.  Now.  Before either of us get excited, please know that nothing will probably come from it- so far, there's nothing promising.  And for some reason I'm okay with that.  Because it's not so much about whether someone buys my house.  (Though don't get me wrong, that's the eventual goal here.) It's about the fact that God answered my prayer.  I got my blip.  The thing's not quite dead. The fact that we got a phone call after such a wide space of time had passed, was not a coincidence of timing, but rather a direct answer to my plea.  All I could think about, was the uncompromising truth in the memory verse I've been clinging to working on. 

"I raise my eyes toward the mountains, where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121: 1-2. 

And then... we did have something else good happen that encouraged us that God is still moving the pieces of our story.  After all this, I was standing at my thinking place kitchen sink, and I happened to gaze out the window.  The scene before my eyes was the most glorious sunset rainbow I've ever seen.  I shrieked, and ran outside in my bare feet with camera in hand.  It was then that I realized I was looking at two rainbows stretching across the sky, proclaiming the majesty of my creator.  I felt the calm assurance that when I raise my eyes toward the right place, my help comes.  It felt as though it was hung in the sky just for me.  Just so I'd remember who's really in charge of this life I call my own....
So, do not forget that wherever you are, or whatever your situation, God will always be your help if only you turn your eyes to Him.  And may you have a double rainbow kind of day too! 

27 comments:

  1. So beautiful and He is so faithful!
    My favorite verse: Jeremiah 29:11
    "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love that you got your blip. I can so relate to wondering what exactly God wants you to do. Be assured that God has a perfect plan for you and your man. His timing is perfect and nothing like our time. I will keep you in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I saw this very rainbow at about the same time. I was driving up Britton & there they were in all their glory. Like you, I was pondering whether I had recently heard something right and cried out to God in my car. Around the corner was this beautiful gift. I'm not saying it's biblical but rainbows have always been a sign of God's remembering to me. I'm glad He spoke to you today too. Love those little "blips".

    ReplyDelete
  4. that is so good. Thanks for sharing and for your encouragement. I love that you prayed for a blip and that you got one. I'm needing a blip - well, actually, I'd really like a big sign in the sky that says, "EMILY DO THIS ...". Wouldn't that be nice? But sometimes a blip is all we really need to know that He's still the one in control. I'm encouraged. And hopeful.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow. Thank you for sharing, I needed to hear this as well. It is so easy to get our eyes off Him and get mired down in the everyday. Thank you for the reminder that our help comes from Him.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Beautiful! Both the story AND the rainbow! Thank you Lord for your blessings and your PROMISES that you are in control!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Been asking for the same thing and I really needed to read this. WOW, God is so faithful even when we are so not!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you for posting this and speaking from a heart of vulnerability. I wept as I read this as I can completely relate (different issues though). The rainbow is so incredibly gorgeous and rare. God surely gave you more than a blip. - Kim

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh Sasha, thank you. I really needed this today.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you for being so open and sharing your "blip" with us! On the surface, it seems like a such no-brainer for God: "Please sell this house so we can free up our money for You, Lord." And then it doesn't happen. Why would such honorable intentions be waylaid? Why must you wait? Just rhetorical questions ... I can't wait to see what God has in store for you guys!

    ReplyDelete
  11. THANK YOU! i'm so glad that you shared this with all of us today... i have tears in my eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I really needed to hear this today. Thank you. Hope your answer comes soon! I'm doing my best to patiently and trustingly wait for the answer to mine... some days are easier than others.

    ReplyDelete
  13. This was a wonderful post to read today! I LOVE to hear stories of hope, especially when at this moment, I am looking for a blip on the heart monitor of life. It's funny but these ups and most poingently the downs in our walk actually help us grow closer to Him. Praise God that He answers our prayers and gives us hope. Praise God that He is the one who is in control. It may not feel like it, but He is!

    Thank you for sharing the verse in Psalm. I to am praticipating in the Beth Moore bible siesta memory challenge this year and that psalm will be the next one I memorize!

    Warm Regards,
    Nicole

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh the faithfulness of the God who sends a shooting star to the weary traveler on the long, silent desert road. "I AM here. And I see you. And I care."

    ReplyDelete
  16. Priceless. Those spectacular, personal moments with our Creator are absolutely priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  17. you have no idea how this encouraged me! Thank you!

    Knock and keep on knocking - is what I remind myself!

    you are so awesome!

    xoTiffany

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sasha, All I can do is sit here and smile.
    Your story is hopeful and the rainbows are gorgeous. He is steadfast. He does answer prayers...if even a blip.
    I know this, you know this. But when he smiles as if gently on our souls to say..."Hey you beautiful girl that I fashion in the palm of my hand...I am here and I got you covered...let me show you a bit of Me {God} to give you hope. Love, Me {God}.

    You are beautiful in your soul and I am thankful.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thank you for sharing today!! I really enjoyed it. Just remember Live life one day at a time and enjoy each day to your fullest. I have the Serenity prayer next to my bed and read it each night. God Bless you Sasha and I pray for you and your family each and every night. I do not know you but I consider you a virtual friend. Love you girl!!! Chin up:)

    ReplyDelete
  20. AWESOME! This is so encouraging to Me, too.

    And please tell me you've watched the Youtube video "Full Double Rainbow". ;)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wow. I really needed to hear that tonight. Thank you for sharing your hope. I'm kinda at the place where I don't understand what God is doing. I thought I knew, but now, not so much. You know? It's one of those waiting times for me. Thanks for the rainbow.
    -FringeGirl

    ReplyDelete
  22. blips from God are always good!! ;) Love love the double rainbow... fabulous capture!

    ReplyDelete
  23. this is so beautiful sash. rainbows always speak to me. such a bold reminder that god is in control. that his promises remain intact. love that you captured that reminder!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I would love some soap!

    Well done friend, on all your wonderful creations - it's a delight to see the fun things you made, and see others enjoy snatching them up!

    ReplyDelete
  25. God is so good, isn't he?
    I had to catch up on your posts cause I have been busy. i just gotta tell ya I got goosebumps after reading this post.
    Very cool pic of the rainbows. Wow, if that isn't the hope blip you were looking for, i don't know what is. i love it when God answers us and answers us big.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I read this, thought it was a fabulous way to pray and then got a blip!!! It was a matter of an hour and the blip came...our situation isn't dead either, and I am excited about it! Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete