Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The road to change...

Freshly fallen snow covered the grass outside, and sparkling sunlight filtered through windows, smeared with dog paw prints.  All the usual noises of children chattering and having fun, littered the air, just beneath the sounds of a radio which played softly in the background.  I dipped a well-worn paintbrush, into a can of fresh, white paint.  Sometimes my best thinking time, is when my hands are occupied with a chore or project.  Up and down, the rhythmic movement of brush against wood allowed my thoughts to wander, as my hands automatically moved to complete my task.
 Out of the blur of background noise, my mind focused on the song playing on the radio.  Song after song, with similar themes played, all of them talking about living life for the poor and the needy in order to honor God and this tiny life he's blessed me with living. My heart soared, even as emotional tears rolled silently down my cheeks.
 I found myself whispering quiet prayers over the narrow wooden island I was painting... prayers of hope for our future.  Prayers of those I will share hospitality with across this very piece, and prayers for the step we are walking out on, even as we transition into our new home.
 It's easy, when we're in the flurry of packing, Ikea shopping, and plan-making to get caught up in the moment.  It's so much fun to paint and buy a few fun items like a yellow and white striped dish towel, with our new home in mind.
 But at the back of our minds, Adrain and I are not forgetting that the reason we are downsizing our mortgage payment in the first place, is so that our future can look vastly different than our past.  Sometimes, when it's quiet, I wonder what it's all going to look like.  I know the big thing we are still praying for and hoping for which will turn our little world in a different direction.  But what about the everyday moments, with the everyday people?  
 Those are the ones I get caught in.  It's so easy to think about serving nameless masses across an ocean.  And there's nothing wrong with that.  In fact, just the opposite... my man has the words, "Sing until the whole world hears" engraved on the back of his ipod.  I love that.  But, it's so much easier sometimes, than choosing to make a difference with a relationship in which I'm easily hurt or used on a regular basis.  
I often wonder if I'll ever be able to put my hurt feelings aside and lovingly serve those kinds of daily people, remembering that it's not about me... it's about my heart and offering fully to a God I trust.  It's so easy to speak in grandiose terms... but the nitty gritty moments... the ugly, every day moments... those are the ones I want to soar in.  The difficult person, sunk fully in their misery and life choices, is a prime opportunity to be a drop of sunshine to.  Yet with their prickles and thorns, I'm likely to come out of it scratched or bruised.  And then I remember, life is messy.  It's not shiny and clean like a new coat of paint.  It's sanded and weathered, old and stained.  And that's okay.  Because for now, I can take one step at a time.  I  know the direction I'm headed, and though I'm sure to make many missteps along the way, I'll get there eventually....  and it will all be worth it!!

Go out there and so some good!!


Above photos: Ikea Groland Butcher block island, primed and painted in Sherwin Williams "Creamy."  Butcher block top treated with a mineral oil, and locking casters from Lowe's added to the bottom.  I'll need to add a few more coats of mineral oil, because I want the butcher block completely sealed and seasoned, not to mention darker in color. 

15 comments:

  1. God has been speaking this same thing to me as well. Even to those who've hurt my feeling and I want to ignore I hear that small voice in my head saying, "do unto others as you would have them do to you." and in that moment I must obey and trust that in my obedience that God will "work all things out for good."

    Your island looks incredible! You must be having so much fun. I can picture a giant white bowl full of lemons sitting on it with your yellow and white striped towel casually strewn beside it.

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  2. Amen. Thank so much for being so honest. I really appreciate what you wrote, and I needed to hear the reminder again. You island looks great! I hope packing is going well, and can't wait to see pictures of the new house!

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  3. It's looking amazing! Can't wait to see the finished project. I love how you can see the good in everything!

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  4. Wow...wow. This is such Truth...I need to ponder. Thanks for sharing.

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  5. Lovely, the words and your ikea transformation.

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  6. It seems as though we have been praying to God about similar things Sasha. My post today is very similar. I drove by one of my local churches today and the sign out front simply read "Have Faith". So few words, yet such powerful words.

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  7. you have a beautiful spirit sasha, God bless...

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  8. well this was just beautiful friend. love your heart so so much! and that island looks wonderful. again i think we share a brain. when i paint i usually have praise music on and the tears often fall. god is so good that way. love the way He ministers in the every day. miss you!

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  9. As always - looks great! And, as always - great food for thought!!!

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  10. I really needed that during this time in my life...Thank You!! Your project looks great too :)

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  11. We're hunting for a house and this post just spoke to me in a really profound way. Reminded me what's truly important. Said to me "With a little elbow grease, you can make any house a home..."

    ...and inspired me to take on that challenge. :) Love this post, Sasha.

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  12. You just NEVER stop!

    You are a super woman!

    Sandy toe

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  13. God is good all the time.... You have a wonderful testimony of what God is doing in your life!

    Nancy

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  14. love the island, love your new (old) house and love, love, love your blog. You have the heart of an angle. Iadmire your faith, I am not sure where or if god has a place in my life. Reading your blog sure makes me want to get in touch with my faith and revist my relationship with the the higher power and figure out what role it has in my life.

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  15. Such a beautiful post...you are so right the ones with the thorns close enough to cause pain are the very ones God has placed in our path. What a gentle reminder, one that I very much needed today. I understand your prayer and anticipation for God to be in your plans but know he is already using you in a mighty way.

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