Okay y'all. The reality has settled upon me. I am in a place of living completely by faith. No other options right now at all. Every house we try to pursue ends in some sort of dead end to our way of thinking... either bank issues like short sales (which I do not want to jump into) or a house that photographs well but is all chopped up and laid out wrong, or weird location, or too much work, or too much money. Overwhelming.
Right now, I'm going, "Okay so I'm happy my house is sold God, but why did You sell it right when You did... when we didn't have a house picked out? I don't get Your timing!" Can anyone out there relate? It's not like we aren't looking, but we can't find anything in our price range that will work for us yet.... I don't get it. Just keeping it real. I have had my hands way full with some kid issues this week and I think it's possible that I'm on overload. All the pieces were chugging along, fitting so neatly into place, and then dead stop. So now what?
I don't know. I can tell you this. For the first time in my life, I was freaking out, losing sleep, when I suddenly remembered the events of the past week and I let them seep into my bones. I remembered. I held them in my mind, and I knew for that tiny, quiet moment, that the God I've been trusting for the past nine months, knows exactly where we are going to end up, and He can be trusted. He is the same God that moved all those pieces together. It's a moment by moment choice right now. I really want a home for my family. I don't want to rent. I will if I have no other choice, however, and I will be grateful for it. I want to be settled. So many months of feeling up in the air. I need a break. I'm breaking. But I'm being held together by threads of faith that weren't there nine months ago. For that I'm grateful. And tonight I will try and sleep... and not worry...I will rest because of this verse:
"He will not let your foot slip. Your protector will not slumber." Psalm 121:3