Thursday, June 9, 2011

It's still just a house....

I've been working hard on my kitchen project all week long, and I've gotten swept up in the excitement of it all. (Almost finished and big reveal coming soon I promise!)  It's hard not to get swept up, when you've been planning something of this magnitude for nearly eight years!  To be honest, the minute we found this house, I wanted to paint the cabinetry in the kitchen and make it a little more Sash-ified.

The thing is, at the base of the excitement, I'm unable to shake the feeling that we're doing this for someone else.  What I mean to say is, after the journey of our past year, we really were changed.  I think I'm just beginning to realize the ways in which we were changed. In the meantime, I'm pouring a lot of sweat equity into this house, and we are putting in some upgrades that we've been wanting to do for years.... but the thing that we keep accidentally saying is, "Maybe this will help it sell someday...."  And then we kind of trail off and look around. 

It's like we both know something in our hearts.  Today I spent some time thinking about that and the question the Lord put in my mind was this, "Would you still leave if I asked you to?  Or will you be so wrapped up in the temporary excitement of finally having the kitchen you've always wanted, that if I still asked you to downsize, and put the opportunity out there, you'd ignore My call?"  I immediately prayed, "Lord if You ask me to leave, let my heart be willing."  Because I want Him more than I want the house with the perfectly sweet kitchen of my dreams. (Though I'm LOVING this kitchen so far, not gonna lie.)

When I said I was all in, I meant it.  I don't know what or where that will take me, but I can't help but think that it's not over yet.  Every thing I do to this house, makes me think about the person who will live here next.  It's really odd, but I'm okay with that for the time being.  I don't know that God wants us to settle back in to life as usual when His silence causes us to stop moving forward on a particular plan.  So for now, I'm focusing on my readjusted priorities of dealing with my sweet boy, and I'm fully enjoying my kitchen as it slowly transforms, but I'm keeping my eyes on the Only One who fills that longing of complete and total contentment.  Because at the end of the day... this is just a house. 

17 comments:

  1. Great to "hear" peace in your voice. By the way....I'd love to actually HEAR your real voice some day. ; )

    Can't wait for the reveal!!!!!!

    Also, when you get time.....you will LOVE pinterest from the other side!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

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  2. Beautiful. Nothing worth more than God. But He also loves to give us the desires of our heart. And I've found that my desires are right where God has me at the moment. Funny how that works...

    Blessings,
    Pamela

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  3. I SO hear you, Sasha! We are preparing our home for the next owner as well. We decided that we need to be willing to let go and trust that God has our best interests at heart. I also have a special, sweet boy. Every time we make a change to this house, we know we are getting it ready for the next blessed family to live here. And so, we do it willingly and with a full heart.
    Love your attitude, girl!

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  4. Oh my goodness, Sasha, I love this post. We live in a small house that I have fixed up and decorated lovingly. Just a week ago, we were asked if we'd consider being RDs at the local Christian college. We already work full time for another ministry, so we turned it down. But it really made me think...would I leave the precious house that I have poured so much energy and time into? It's not much in the world's eyes, yet it can become too much in my eyes. This post was exactly what I have been thinking about. Thank you.

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  5. Sasha, I am amazed by you. What a great attitude of heart. I think right now if God brought us back to camp, I would never be ready to hold on to it with open hands. Good thing we're not going back to camp anytime soon and God and I can keep working on my heart!

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  6. I'm walking in this tension too, finally asking how do I pursue dreams while still holding them more loosely than I hold the hand of the Dream Giver.

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  7. you'd do the right thing. i know you would. i have no doubt about it.

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  8. Ye-e-e-e-esssss. And I think I'm going to bite the bullet and bust out a fresh coat of much-needed and longed-for paint for my living room!

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  9. carry on, friend...but just remember to write all your big plans in pencil, as God seems to erase and rewrite quite often :)

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  10. Six years ago God directed my Hubs and I to move from our home. I couldn't believe God would move us from our newly renovated home after I had waited 18 years to get new carpet. The home sold in 2 hours and we had to move into an apartment because we hadn't bought a new house yet. After several months of living in close quarters, God dropped our dream home into our laps. In the midst of that whirlwind move, we got rid of 3/5 of everything we owned. We now live a more simple, streamlined life and if God asks us to move again, we'll be ready. We're never more at home than when we're in His will. Blessings to you and your family.

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  11. Love this post about your heart. I think the Lord puts a yearning in us that will never be satisfied on earth no matter how dreamy our dream home here is. Our ultimate dream home is with Him. You know how He says He has a mansion for us, well mine would be a cute little white cottage with a big front porch. Yes, your heart is in the right place, His hands.

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  12. Aren't we all preparing for who will live here next....since we are only passing through. Sometimes I think we overthink things.

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  13. After 5 moves in 6 years, one in which we had just built the house we always wanted on an acre of land, God taught me those words too......"It is just a house. Don't hang on too tightly to anything but Me." :)

    But....I can't wait to see the reveal!

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  14. At first I was reading your recent post on the kitchen update thinking - isn't this the blogger that was selling to downsize ? Then I read further ;)
    I can relate - our church just finished reading/studying
    " Radical" by David Platt and our family is looking at was to downsize and live for Gods glory and furthering HIS kingdom not our American dream - but in our market homes on our block stay on the market for months- a year and so I too am painting my cabinets and doing small things to prep our home to use For others - possibly adopting in the future since we have the "room" and finding ways to cut back and use our larger home for others like church get togethers, bible Studies etc instead of selling it- I know we are here for a higher calling and it is so refreshing to read others sharing that common faith and goal!

    Claiming Colossians 3:15 & 17
    Many blessings
    Janice w

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  15. Love this post. I could say that sentence and fill in the blank for so many things in my life that I get swept up in..."this is just a _____" Thanks for reminding me that what I find important and what Jesus finds important are two very different things. And I, like you, know who wins. :o)

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