Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Hey guess what? I'm imperfect.

Here I was, checking things off my list, feeling great, passing by the hall mirror and congratulating myself on life, (not to mention how great my hair was looking) when the phone rang.   I will tell you what... there's not much that humbles a Mama instantly, like a call from a child in the principal's office.  And it got me to thinking...
 I hate not having the answers.  I hate not having it all together.  I generally just hate not being perfect.  (Please tell me you're nodding your head in understanding) But what I hate most of all, is being found out for not having the answers, or it all together, or the imperfection.  You see, for the past week or so, I've been wrestling with a particular relationship, where I come face to face with my "lack of answers" again and again.  It's like I get stupider whenever I'm in this person's presence- or at least that's how I wind up feeling.  I know they genuinely like and even appreciate me to some degree, but I sense a gleam of enjoyment when they hold some upper hand of advice, or knowledge, and I'll be honest... it stings.  You know what it stings?  My pride.  

Somewhere deep inside of me, I know I don't have the answers, but think maybe I can fool others.  And when I'm around someone who maybe does have more answers to life than I do, (and realistically, that's pretty much every body) my pride (that part of me screaming out, "Look at me... I'm kind of a big deal!") crawls away and licks its wounds, whispering how wrong they are, and how right I am... and nobody wins because half the time (more or less) I really do have it wrong. 

It occurred to me, that this relationship was actually heaven-sent.  Because if I had it my way, (ashamedly) my pride would swell, and I'd feel important, and special and first in everyone's world, and we'd rename earth after me. 

And I'd never get calls from my imperfect children... who would never need to learn the same lessons in life that I'm learning myself.  That lesson? The only way to "win" in anything, is to rely on God for everything and embrace our weakness.   "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."  2 Cor. 12:9 

 Happily imperfect in the Pacific Northwest,

24 comments:

  1. Thankfully we don't always have all the right answers because then we wouldn't humble ourselves and rely on our Lord and he does say "You are a BIG deal"!The more imperfect we are we know we are made perfect in HIM!

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  2. No body has all the answers. No one has more answers than you. Often those who make you feel lacking or insufficient (whether directly or indirectly) are often struggling just as much or worse.

    And as I have learned through many of these relationships, I learned that life is too short to stay in something where you feel less then you. There is nothing wrong to want to be appreciated in ALL relationships you have, don't you truly appreciate all these people back? Sometimes letting go is the best gift we can give ourselves.

    {hugs}

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  3. hate having a thorn person. not so sure i'm with ya there, but you do usually have all the answers...and i'm not just saying that. you are a plethera of wisdom girlfriend. hope the call wasn't anything too serious!

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  4. This is a BEAUTIFUL post, and such a hard lesson to learn! Thank you for this.

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  5. First of all, you ARE a big deal. Secondly, the answers are inside of you, maybe just haven't been stirred up yet. Thirdly, give yourself a break. You will learn the lesson you are meant to learn when you are meant to learn it.
    And lastly, thanks for your always honest perspective. You are SO refreshing!
    Hang in there, girl.

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  6. I love how I get to learn through your posts. You don't know how inspiring you are. ♥

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  7. Nobody has all the answers. We just keep trying!

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  8. I always look forward to your posts! In our weakness..HE is made strong! Sweet blessings to you!

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  9. the truth is you have so much to offer. that person knows it and needs to feel superior because THEY already feel inferior to you. they are struggling with themselves not you.
    btw. jj is going to be such a fox when he is grown. i mean he just gets handsomer and handsomer.and ava, she is timeless. classic. you could seriously put her in any era with her cute face and freckles and pigtails. cute cute they are.

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  10. Great post! I'm learning right along with you. I just finished a great book that I think every woman should read- Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman. I read it in two days. I couldn't put it down. Grace...it's so amazing! Thanks for sharing your heart! :)

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  11. I couldn't have said it better myself. However, I think you're a pretty BIG deal too and I don't know you personally but love your blog and read it daily! :) P.S. I also LOVE your new picture to the right side of your screen with you in the blue plaid shirt - adorable! Thanks for all of your words of wisdom and don't be too hard on that "imperfect" child! :) Big hugs!

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  12. I love this post....just what I needed to hear. Love your authenticity and love that when I am in a hurry to read email, I MUST click down and read yours no matter what. I have come to adore your blog. :) I think I might have needed a pride lesson this week.......so thanks. :)

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  13. Awww... you guys... I'm so glad I have you ALL, and all of your "same place" of understanding words. I'm so glad we're in this thing together!!

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  14. PrEaCh it, girl! I can OH-SO relate. Being knocked off my rocker is so hard for me, but so important in reminding my prideful heart that it isn't about ME. No matter how good I 'look' - I'm nothing if I do not daily accept His grace in my life. LOVE this post, love your heart - and brace yourself, I'm prepared to spend some TIME on your blog catching up on posts I've missed! xoxo

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  15. Happily Imperfect Ever After. . .from our house to yours: )

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  16. We've all been there! In fact, I've had that EXACT verse in my head for the last two days. Aren't you relieved that you don't have to have all the answers? God is truly enough and will provide and love and be all the answer we need. (P.S. I think you're wonderful...and human! Yippee!)

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  17. so I have to say bravo to you for sharing so that we can all know that we're not the only ones being found out! I've always said that parenting humbles you just about more than anything! Keep up the good work mama!

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  18. love your honesty....
    I was totally nodding my head while reading...
    I feel like that has been my life journey with the lord....

    He's been teaching me for twenty years how to take off the masks of perfection and performance and take JOY in my weaknesses...
    2 Corinthians 12:9 is my life verse, which explains the whole 20 year journey with him. :)

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  19. Here Here Mama!!Glad to hear I am not the only one!!! Can you even imagine the pressure of actually being perfect? At least with admitting where we are, we can mess up and no one should be greatly surprised! :) I toast my glass to just trying to be the best God has made us, and if others have an issue with that - well, they can take it up with God.

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  20. I could have written this exact same post for myself on my blog!
    God is good and supplies everything we need, I need the reminder and stop questioning myself and just rely on God more...thanks for your post! :) HUGS!

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  21. oh my friend, right smack dab in the middle of your very same page.
    you have a moldable teachable heart & that is a fine thing my dear.
    i am failing at several things right now & sorta hard to get back on the top.sigh

    xoxo

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  22. I just found your blog, quite by accident, and I was IMMEDIATELY sucked in when I quickly scrolled through your opening posts and saw (drum roll, puh-leez!) KEVIN BACON and the tribute to the original "Footloose" movie! Oh, how I was head over heels in love with Ren McCormick when I was 14! And now... Well... The girls and I have plans to see the NEW "Footloose" movie TOMORROW NIGHT! But then... Well... I found THIS post on struggling with relationships, and how we want everyone to think that YES, INDEED! WE ARE A BIG DEAL!, but how God intends for us to be a bit of a smaller deal down here. And you hit the nail right smack on the head with your words. And I loved what you wrote. And now... Well... I may start stalking your blog, but I assure you: I'm not crazy weird. Just GENERALLY WEIRD. This is a great blog -- keep up the good work, and I do love and adore your decorating style.

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