Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Favorite spaces... and renewal.

This most recent cleaning spree made it's way into my studio, my closet, and basically every nook and cranny of our home.  One of my favorite spaces in the whole house, is my office area.  My desk was feeling cluttered, so I removed a bunch of items, and streamlined it somewhat.  Sometimes, I need simplicity. I loved the big lamp that sat on the end of my desk, but in the decluttering process, this small glass lamp found a new home here instead.
Very soon, my giant dining room chalkboard will be displaced, due to a fun new thing being built for me. (I'm cheering wildly right this second.  And it's very hard to type and cheer wildly, just so you know.)  I plan to place it above my desk, so in the meantime, I took down  a few things that used to hang above it.  It feels a little sparse at the moment, but I'm really looking forward to what's coming......... (see how I create some anticipation there?  What's life without a little anticipation.  The bottom line is, my man adores me and I can't wait to show you what he's cooking up for me!)

I love this little corner in our studio.  I did a little decor fluffing, and filled a metal box with my ribbon spools.  I love how crazy the sketching model always looks.  I think it's running hurdles. (Incidentally, I've been dying to do that my whole life but scared spitless to try.  Isn't that funny?)  The people I live with find it hilarious to pose it.  Often.


I moved my old craft cupboard so that I can see it when I'm in my living room.  I like to look at it.  I think it inspires and calms me.  I also re-hung the curtains I took down when we listed our house. Which brings me to this- Adrain and I came to the same startling conclusion about our home.  There may be some different career possibilities with his employer, over the course of the next year.  One of them of course, would be staying put indefinitely, but financially, that's the least favorite of our choices.  We don't know what his career path will look like this time next year, so our first thought was to remove our home from the market while we ride out the waiting period, and forget all this hope and nonsense of trying to sell.  And then, it was as though the shadow of the past two years finally caught up to us, and firmly assured us that God's got this.  While listed, our home will not sell if it's not meant to. (I'm pretty sure the publisher's clearing house debacle of 2011 proved that one.)  And nothing will keep it from selling at the proper time if it's meant to.  It sounds so simple, and I've been hearing and saying it all forever but believe me, the road to the full realization of this has been anything but simple.  I mean I knew it of course, but now I seem to really know it.  It's as though we suddenly relaxed-truly relaxed-into the abyss of not knowing, and ceased almost caring (or maybe fretting is the better word here?) because the future rests entirely in the most capable of hands- God's.  We can stay or go-  I'm good with either and the peace I finally feel over the entire thing is overwhelming.  In fact, I hardly know what to do with it now that I have grasped it.  I didn't know I lacked it, until I finally had it, and I have no idea how I got it.  It's been a journey, that's for sure.  
I hardly know what to say now that I got that all out.  It seems so insignificant in the black and white of it, but trust me, the words themselves are only the tip of the iceberg in my heart.  There is an overflowing quality happening here.... like I'm no longer an empty shell, just waiting... waiting. 
It's as though life is renewing in my little world, and it has nothing to do with the promise of spring. 
I've been memorizing the book of James.  (I'm sadly not very far along yet.)  What a comfort those first few verses have been to me, and it's possible that I've been in a flurry of spring cleaning because of this renewed growth on the inside.  Like I'm somehow attempting to display outwardly what I'm rejoicing of inwardly.  Does that make sense?
"James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.  To the twelve tribes, scattered among the nations.  Greetings.  Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because a man who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."  James 1:1-6
So...after baring my heart to y'all and basking in this new found faith and peace of heart... Do you guys think we are the most wishy-washy people on the planet?  LOL Thank you so much for continuing to ride this crazy roller coaster with us.  I love hearing your similar stories, and wonder, have you ever had this happen?  When something you knew suddenly became something you KNEW?

Or am I the only one?




34 comments:

  1. i don't think you're wishy washy. but if you were, you'd be in good company. i'm there too. everyday brings new joys and fears. but i'm so thankful we serve the One who never changes.

    love all these outward changes you're making, but you already know that. : )

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  2. I love every single one of your post. Every single one.

    (and no you aren't wishy washy)

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  3. You described perfectly the way I feel about my job situation for next year--while I feel very sure I'm in need of change--where or what that looks like remains unknown to me. I've got two options one day a week or no work at all--I've talked to the key people involved and it will happen or won't. I'm truly okay with either because of what you just wrote about. Peaceful is this place like none I've ever known--but it's also the first time perhaps, that I really gave it to Him--all to Him, placed it in His hands and practiced this faith thing full heartedly with unabandonement. No, I don't think you are wishy washy at all, friend: )

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  4. love peeking into your world.
    way to go on james!
    awesome on letting god do what he may or may not do. seriously. that's a life changer frame of mind i wish i had everyday!
    can't wait to see what's being built for you!

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  5. That's just life girl. We don't know what in the world we are doing. It's trial and error. The main thing is that God is in control even when we are not...which is always right?? So glad the peace came for you and you've had a heart revelation...that's awesome:)

    Your house is so dang cute...honestly it would be sad for you to leave it. Every nook and cranny looks just you.

    Oh been doing some projects with mom and dad this week. I'm getting ready to add a big chalkboard door to my living room. Can you ever have too much chalkboard stuff?

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  6. i soooo get you. it's like just literally playing the "what if" game until its just you and God right??

    i'm so happy you're good. like peaceful-good. :)

    xo, friend.

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  7. Isn't it wonderful to have that peace that passes all understanding. and...I enjoy you company...I too have a car on that rollercoaster. ;) It's blogs like yours that continue provide me encouragement and make me smile. God Bless!

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  8. I just started following your blog and I love your voice, your heart and many of the things I see in your photos! I don't even remember where I found you, but I am glad I did.
    You can check mine out if you want...
    www.donna-homebuildingcountdown.blogspot.com

    And no, you aren't wishy washy you are walking firmly into your faith!

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  9. no wishy-washy, just plain honesty and heart pulls ~ many things leave me thinking, are we doing the right thing here? Waiting things out and sitting still in the unknown I think is the best rather than rushing into decisions that you could regret ~ I've been there, done that

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  10. Everytime I see you say (write?) 'LOL' I really do laugh out loud...and send you lots of love. ;)

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  11. Thank you for this post. Really. We just re-listed our home on Monday after it being off the market during the dead of winter. I had minor heart attacks last year wondering if it would sell or not...and I FORGOT that God is in control. I needed to be reminded of this at the BEGINNING of this new phase of it being on the market. I think God used you to remind me. Thank you, thank you!
    -Katie

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  12. We have been in this place, many times. When we got to the place of complete trust and peace in His will, whatever that was, that is when what we had been waiting for so long, happened. I just read today, something from Charles Stanley about James 1:2-6 He said, "Our hopes and dreams may appear to be dashed forever. It might even seem as if God is refusing to answer our prayers. We must remember God uses each of these times to test and grow our trust in Him, and it's crucial we respond with a steadfast faith that doesn't waiver." I know God has great things in store for you and your sweet family.

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  13. Good for you, for creating a tranquil and unique space even in the unknowing situation of your home. I am sure many of us have felt this way and just did not know how to express it. It's good to feel the peace that you are feeling now. :) Mary

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  14. You speak what most think . You write what most can't put in words...... Put your life in Gods hand is always the right way no matter what he has plans for. No wishy washy thoughts here. You inspire me to try my best to do the same. Can't wait to see the project !!!!

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  15. Yes we are a wishy-washy people....God wrote a whole book about it called Exodus....took them 40 years of wandering! That is just one reason why God is so significant in our lives....because we have fickle hearts and He (thank goodness) does not. He is for us so who can be against us? The gift of Peace is wonderful....enjoy it, dwell in it, sustain it.....as long as possible....because as sure as the sun rises, you'll have to seek it again! But that's part of life on this earth....it will all be different one day....Praise the Lord!!
    Blessings!
    Lorraine

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  16. It's all part of His journey, glad you are feeling safe and secure just where you are!

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  17. Beautifully written, Sasha.
    Just let go and let God...

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  18. Thank you once again for sharing. Your words are so true! I once heard a sermon where the preacher compared the two types of knowing to playing Guitar Hero and actually playing the guitar. I liked that but I think maybe a better description would be knowing the chords on a guitar and knowing how to make amazing music with the chords you know...anyway...I have had that experience over and over again in my lifetime with one bit of knowledge or another. I call it head knowledge and heart knowledge. I'm struggling with a bit of knowledge in my life right now related to my career and family. I pray that I too can find that overwhelming peace you wrote about. How great? I wish I knew what made the difference. There would be far less struggle, stress, and difficulty if I could just rest in the heart knowledge of his truths immediately without struggling first with the head knowledge of it all.

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  19. Sasha,
    first off I don't think you are wishy washy. I think you are so real, and very transparent to share with your readers how you have felt about the whole roller coaster ride.
    I have to say that very verse you cited...James 1:16 is what gave me that "a ha" moment in my spiritual walk many years ago when we were in a similiar situation. So glad you have "peace" about it all. It truly is a wonderful feeling, isn't it? I really can't think of any hands better to be in than God's.
    Hugs to you sweet friend.

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  20. oh, I almost forgot...the chalkboard. I love the chalkboard!! I love it with that sweet bucket of yellow flowers...LOL, i have even pinned that very picture. So, yeah, what are you up to??? HAHA! i am sure whatever it is, it will be fabulous. Can't wait to see. : )

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  21. I bought my first home and it would be great if you would just come and decorate it for me, what do you think?

    I was inspired by you are the dollar store yesterday and purchased some yellow blossoms and pussy willows to bring some spring into the house!

    Thanks ~ Sara
    saraknox@hotmail.com

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  22. I'm much older than you and I've felt like this in many different stages in my life. You are actually on of the bloggers who has inspired me to "retire" next month and let God lead me to where I should be and use my life to honor him. I've actually spent years wanting to do this but letting fear rule me. I am at peace about this now and I'm even wondering what I was ever worried about. God's alway been in charge. So you see, we all know exactly what you mean.

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  23. It's about the trust we have in "him", letting go, and letting him do. I'm on that journey, I'm not in the best season right now, but I'm trusting; It's hard not knowing what will happen, I'm placing my trust in him, because I know his plans are far better than mine. As always, beautiful post:-)
    Can't wait to see the board up there, love your space.

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  24. No, I don't think you are the most wishy-washy person! I recently went through a HUGE six-month process of deciding to move, husband going to work in another city, putting our house on the market, only to have God reverse everything and keep us in place. I thought of you many times during those months and knew I wasn't alone. GOOD FOR YOU that you are listening to HIM!

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  25. yay! for His peace that passes all understanding...even in the midst of confusion and uncertainty.
    been there, girl.
    when our house was on the market, i was SO anxious for it to sell, and not until i found peace and contentment right where i was, did he decide to make the move.
    it was awesome.
    He wanted me to surrender ALL.
    xo
    this is so good and i'm so happy for you!

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  26. Ya know what is so sad?! I have never ever ever gave thought to memorizing an entire book of the Bible. What an amazing and beautiful thing that would be. Thank you for your constant inspiration :)

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  27. Girl, you have such a way with words! I read each and every word and soak it in! And I love that you have been decluttering (not that your house needs it!) XO

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  28. You are not the only one nor are you being wishy washy. Your honesty, faith and humility is truly inspiring. I am so happy that you are finding peace with your life as it is now. Continued Blessings!

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  29. Good for you, you would not want to miss out on any little moment on what if's while life is just passing you right by.

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  30. forgot to mention how cute all your little touches of decorating little corners of your home are..renewing, replacing, reusing, reorganizing...love it. ~ it's motivating me to do something here to freshen up rooms

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  31. Waiting is always the hardest thing to do. Waiting for His answer, waiting for His clear path......

    By the way, I'm jealous at the gorgeousness of your house.



    www.seekinghisgrace.com

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  32. You are not alone. I totally get this. I was actually smiling while reading it and felt like you could take a deep breath now and just release it all...
    I get it!
    Yay for you!~ and the home is looking awesome! Very Pretty!

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  33. Thank you for sharing. I'm struggling right now in feeling in an unknown space of where I should be in my walk with God and what I should be doing. This has been such an encouragement - there's hope :) I love the James verses! You are a sweet sister in the Lord.

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  34. I think I just asked that same question today..."does this mean I'm wishy washy?" Because I think I've got something figured out and then there's a curve ball...and I have to readjust.

    I don't think it's about being wishy washy, it's about growing through the process...and realizing the path from A to B is something meandering... sometimes we even have to double back and walk in our footsteps twice.

    It's ok. God really DOES have it. I know he does. I'm counting on it for both of us. :)

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