Wednesday, March 21, 2012

This big LIFE story's all mine

In May, it will be 20 years since my first date with Adrain.  I remember how fluttery I felt around him in the beginning. (I still feel kind of fluttery around him of course, but it's a little different.)  Every so often, I complain to my man about how our romance is (insert plenty of girly drama) dying, and that we're becoming like two worn out old shoes to each other. (I'm not proud.  I'm just a girl sometimes.  You know?)
 Sometimes he laughs and reminds me that the old worn out shoes are his favorites.  Sometimes he rolls his eyes and ignores it.  Sometimes he takes me in his arms and kisses me passionately, or brushes it off because I'm being stupid.  Sometimes I get a response like, "Goodness woman, are you blind?"  (Yeah.  I am sometimes.)  

Not long ago, I was having one of those stupid girl moments and brought up the old shoe feeling. His reaction to this was carefully controlled and I'm sure I was the last thing the man needed but sometimes I can't stop myself.  He looked down at me and quietly said, "Really?  Do you want to know how I see it?"  (I suddenly wasn't so sure...) "Every morning, I get up at 5:00 am.  I leave and commute to a job I'd never have chosen for myself.  I eat my breakfast and lunch on the run while working.  I work a 10-12 hour day, filling up a 50-60 hour week.  I've been working for this company for 17 long years and that's how I show you my love"

Squash me now please! I don't deserve this man.  (Remember the failure's post? Yeah... This was around that time too.)  He does everything he does, for me.  I grew up moving around a lot, and he knows it terrifies me to do that to my kids.  I had a great childhood don't get me wrong, and two of the best parents a kid could have growing up, I just don't want to move 14 times with my own kids.  It takes a toll.
 That said, over a month ago, we had about 5 doors fanning out in front of us, full of potential possibilities.  (Remember this post? where we let go and finally left it all in God's hands?) My man had a good discussion with his boss, and they unraveled Adrain's probable career path for the most part.  Afterward, we realized that none of those particular doors were going to open, and the doors that will eventually open for us are a couple short years down the road.  At the same time, our house option in the city my man commutes to, became a total non-option.

After much discussion and intense family prayers we decided (again) to de-list our house, accept this place as home, and let go of any other destinations.  Collectively over 500 days have passed with this thing on the market. The original mission that started it all nearly 3 Spring seasons ago, has never left our hearts, we've just spent two years watching it play out very differently than what we originally thought.  Instead of downsizing our home for a smaller payment, we refinanced for a slightly better situation.  We're still trying to live on less so we can give more, and sometimes we do better than other times with that.  Instead of going out and changing the world, we've begun to intentionally open our home to those around us, and use the gifts we've been given to that end. The main thing is, we're trying to keep our overall focus and actions on what really matters- loving people to Jesus.

And circling back to my point about romance.  Usually when I have one of those freak-out stupid girl moments, I'm not seeing clearly, the romance that is right in front of my face.  That continual laying down of self, that my man does for me every single day that he makes the choice to put us first.
And then there are those times... when he deliberately shows me he loves me.  He shows me that he wants to stand alongside me in our mission to open our doors and love on every person that comes inside, (Yes, sometimes I love people with food. I'm sure you're surprised by this.) by walking into a favorite store, and buying a huge table for 10 people, made out of reclaimed barn wood on the spot.  All because I said I was in love with it and hated being limited to 6 people around my tiny white table. 

If that's not the most romantic gesture a man has ever made for a woman, I don't know what is. (I have a few more chairs on order.)  So here we live.... and here we will LIVE until God changes our story. Again. (Because He tends to do that.)

I think I can live with that.  (grin)

Oreo truffle recipe here.  (I used Gluten Free Oreo-style cookies for mine and my kids and loved them!)

The winner of my giveaway was: Anonymous: I like the purses. But I'm in love with the utility tote you picked out. Josie ufrog_98@yahoo.com  (Never had an anonymous winner before!  Josie ufrog_98@yahoo.com give me a shout at lemonademakinmama@comcast.net and I'll hook you up with Kelly!  Congrats!

36 comments:

  1. Bless your heart Sasha..I think we all have felt like you have at one point. So sweet of you to share your experience. You are loved girie! Don't ever forget that. I love your man's response that old shoes are his favorite. Love that! : )

    I was so intense in to your story that I need to go back and look at the pics. Table is beautiful..love it! Those oreo cake pops are looking yummy! I love it when you do food posts and have the recipes to boot. : )
    Have a great evening.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This was so great! I never thought of "going to work everyday" as an act of love - just thought it was being a grown up. But my man sounds a lot like your man - where every thing, big or small he does for us. Now that's what a marriage is made of!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know what you mean. My husband and I have been together since we were 17 and sometimes it's difficult to feel that spark! But when I feel like that I always listen to that Carly Simon song "The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of". There is a line that's in it that says "Don't look at your man in the same old way. Take a new picture. Just because you don't see shooting stars doesn't mean it isn't perfect." Always puts it in perspective for me. Thanks for sharing. I'm gonna go hug my hubby now!
    Donna in Kelowna

    ReplyDelete
  4. Where do I begin - First, I am so glad I have found your blog - it is bright spot in my day. Two, I love that you don't just show us your new table, you tell a beautiful story around it - I am trying to do that more in my own blog, so thank you for the inspiration. And finally - oooh, that is a good good man, so blessed you are! Oh, and how I love your table!

    Take care and many blessings,
    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  5. Where is the table from? LOVE the size/ top.

    More importantly, just this morning I gave my own husband the "I'm feeling needy and need an extra dose of love and affection from you" business... whether we're right, wrong, or only being honest about our feelings, it's good to know we're only human and not the only ones who have those moments!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true Kelly! I got the table from a local shop in the city my man works in and it's one of a kind. (Just a tiny shop with some handcrafted, thrifted, and consigned items. But I LOVE it. Such a fun place to shop.) :)

      Blessings,
      Sasha

      Delete
  6. What a hubby, what a table {swoon!}, what a beautiful life. Blessings overflow!

    ReplyDelete
  7. My partner isn't the most romantic man in the world, but he spends time at the weekend cooking up big pots of soup (I call it "love in a mug") for my school lunch and prepping the week's meals so I can have more time to myself when I'm at home. Sometimes I wish he would show more affection but then I kick myself and realise that he has his own way of showing how much he loves me. By the way, that is an amazing table!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love the post- I can totally relate as my husband travels a LOT for work (like 2 or 3 weeks of the month) but that affords us the opportunity to put our 3 kids in a private Christian school. Your guy sounds like my guy-- a Keeper!
    And the table- absolute LOVE 100%! We up-sized to that kind of table when we had our 3rd 5 years ago and haven't regretted it a bit! You may want to think about getting a bench in the future. You can pack a lot of little bodies on a bench on one side of that table! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Love your love story and the table! And your heart for "loving people to Jesus"....
    So happy I found your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love your blog. I love this story. What woman has not wondered if her sweetie really loves her when all along he is loving her the best way he can, if that makes since? Sounds to me , like his love language is acts of service, and yours is quality time or touch!If you haven't , you should read The Five Love Languages, it is awesome. It helped me and my husband learn to love each other better. My love language is acts of service, I could care less if he kisses me but pick up that dish towel and I'm in heaven! His is quality time, so I get on the back of his motorcycle , when I hate it and spend the day riding down the road, He beams!
    The table is awesome and the husband is a keeper, Keep smiling!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is awesome! I have read the book... his is definitely service, and mine always come up as gifts first and then the quality time/touch. You nailed it! LOL

      Delete
  11. i feel very observant... because when i first looked at the table i knew it was different! it is indeed so dreamy. and your man. wow, he really loves you, huh?!!! he sounds a lot like mine. they are so good to us.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Now that is a romantic gesture! So thoughtful!!! Love that you want to feed more people, what a heart you have Sasha!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. i really, really love this post.
    i have to tell you, i almost bought you the cutest sign from home goods...it said, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
    i didn't get it, because i wasn't sure if it was your style, but i felt blessed, thinking of you and your sweetness.:)
    xo
    keep on the good fight, sister!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How sweet... it makes me smile that you were thinking of ME! :)

      Delete
  14. Wow, I feel like this post should end with "and they lived happily ever after". Your new table is gorgeous, you are one blessed woman who deserves it because you are always blessing others (like the little girl who comes over all the time). Enjoy ministering around your new table.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sasha, you have such a big heart!! Love this post as well ~ so easy to get into a stale spot in our relationship ~ I've had many in my 30 years(this June!!) of marriage ~ I know for me, it's these times that make you realize what a good thing you have going and it gives me an opportunity to have good conversations that always bring us closer again ~ I agree with EveryDayBlessings that all hubby has to do is even picking up his underwear from his side of the bed and put it in the laundry to be washed and I'm smitten!! lol...no seriously it's the other things he does for me other than the hugging and kissing that mean the most.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Your house is just beautiful!

    I love this post - you and your husband sound just like me and mine! :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. ps ~ love that table and your thoughts on serving more people around it ~

    ReplyDelete
  18. Adrain is right...he is showing his love! He sounds just like my husband who has been working hard every day and building also things for me for 40 years.....we get so much worldly input these days that we think everyone lives a storybook life but us. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it..." Eph 5:25
    Sounds like he's on the mark to me!
    We all have those "poor me" moments...the key is being able to see the truth too!
    Blessings Lorraine

    ReplyDelete
  19. Love the table. Love that Adrain for being so good to my girl. Amazing how God puts us with that person. I don't know want I'd do without my man either.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You are where God wants you to be, and you're doing marvelous things, loving in his name. May you both be blessed always!

    ReplyDelete
  21. well said!
    take that cute little white table and pop it in a corner and fill it with pitures- i have a friend that has a table that size and i have always adord it!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Beautiful post! Don't be too hard on yourself though...women usually show their feelings and emotions differently and sometimes we need those special words or actions just because. Men seem to be focused on their careers and think their hard work in that area is proof...just like your hubby. There's nothing wrong with either one...it just is.

    I absolutely LOVE your home! Each time I see photos, I see something else that is beautiful. Did you find the letters for "BAKE" in your area? Just wondering if I might find similar here. Most are very small it seems.

    God has a very special plan for you and your family. Perhaps opening your doors and loving people to Him is most important right now. I absolutely love this idea!

    xo
    Pat

    ReplyDelete
  23. I forgot to say how gorgeous your table is! :-)

    Pat

    ReplyDelete
  24. THAT, my dear Sasha, is true love and romance!! I've been married 22 years and my definition of romance has changed. In a world where couples may throw in the towel too easily, or one spouse decides to leave the other; for me, romance is stability, security, knowing my hubby is committed to me and our family. Sasha, you have romance and, it seems, a great marriage! Girl, how sweet that he bought you the table you've been pining for!! You are blessed!!

    Lurker and Purchaser of your awesome Prints,
    Pat

    ReplyDelete
  25. What a pretty table... and home! I love your honest and beautiful backstory, too. It's nice to know that others can feel that way from time to time--- even though we are happily married!

    ReplyDelete
  26. How sweet, grateful for who we have been given, we are on the same wave I have a post for tomorrow that's along the same line! March 23rd!

    That is one good looking table can't wait to see her all dressed up!

    ReplyDelete
  27. loving the table! I think I've had this exact talk with my man before. Makes me want to be very grateful to him tonight when he gets home from work! Um.. that came out wrong... I mean I want to show him my gratitude... NO, that's not it either...

    ReplyDelete
  28. love that table. i think tables are my love language too. bless your heart, sweet one.

    ReplyDelete
  29. That table is gorgeous.
    Thank you for the wonderful reminder that our men sometimes show their love differently then we think they need to.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I'm a stay at home mom right now to one little 4 and 1/2 year old ball of FUN and I was feeling very much the same way one day and began praying about it. I heard the holy spirit so clearly say to me "this is the way he loves you, thank him everyday". Now every morning when he leaves for the office I make sure I tell him thank you for going to work for us each day. I think he appreciates hearing it.

    I LOVE the table and can't wait to hear stories about how you and your family use it for the Lord :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. i have a quick question about your table...did the tabletop made of barn wood come just as is or did you stain/re-finish it? it's absolutely beautiful!

    ReplyDelete