In May, it will be 20 years since my first date with Adrain. I remember how fluttery I felt around him in the beginning. (I still feel kind of fluttery around him of course, but it's a little different.) Every so often, I complain to my man about how our romance is (insert plenty of girly drama) dying, and that we're becoming like two worn out old shoes to each other. (I'm not proud. I'm just a girl sometimes. You know?)
kisses me passionately, or brushes it off because I'm being stupid. Sometimes I get a response like, "Goodness woman, are you blind?" (Yeah. I am sometimes.)
Not long ago, I was having one of those stupid girl moments and brought up the old shoe feeling. His reaction to this was carefully controlled and I'm sure I was the last thing the man needed but sometimes I can't stop myself. He looked down at me and quietly said, "Really? Do you want to know how I see it?" (I suddenly wasn't so sure...) "Every morning, I get up at 5:00 am. I leave and commute to a job I'd never have chosen for myself. I eat my breakfast and lunch on the run while working. I work a 10-12 hour day, filling up a 50-60 hour week. I've been working for this company for 17 long years and that's how I show you my love"
Squash me now please! I don't deserve this man. (Remember the failure's post? Yeah... This was around that time too.) He does everything he does, for me. I grew up moving around a lot, and he knows it terrifies me to do that to my kids. I had a great childhood don't get me wrong, and two of the best parents a kid could have growing up, I just don't want to move 14 times with my own kids. It takes a toll.
5 doors fanning out in front of us, full of potential possibilities. (Remember this post? where we let go and finally left it all in God's hands?) My man had a good discussion with his boss, and they unraveled Adrain's probable career path for the most part. Afterward, we realized that none of those particular doors were going to open, and the doors that will eventually open for us are a couple short years down the road. At the same time, our house option in the city my man commutes to, became a total non-option.
After much discussion and intense family prayers we decided (again) to de-list our house, accept this place as home, and let go of any other destinations. Collectively over 500 days have passed with this thing on the market. The original mission that started it all nearly 3 Spring seasons ago, has never left our hearts, we've just spent two years watching it play out very differently than what we originally thought. Instead of downsizing our home for a smaller payment, we refinanced for a slightly better situation. We're still trying to live on less so we can give more, and sometimes we do better than other times with that. Instead of going out and changing the world, we've begun to intentionally open our home to those around us, and use the gifts we've been given to that end. The main thing is, we're trying to keep our overall focus and actions on what really matters- loving people to Jesus.
And circling back to my point about romance. Usually when I have one of those freak-out stupid girl moments, I'm not seeing clearly, the romance that is right in front of my face. That continual laying down of self, that my man does for me every single day that he makes the choice to put us first.
a huge table for 10 people, made out of reclaimed barn wood on the spot. All because I said I was in love with it and hated being limited to 6 people around my tiny white table.
If that's not the most romantic gesture a man has ever made for a woman, I don't know what is. (I have a few more chairs on order.) So here we live.... and here we will LIVE until God changes our story. Again. (Because He tends to do that.)
I think I can live with that. (grin)
Oreo truffle recipe here. (I used Gluten Free Oreo-style cookies for mine and my kids and loved them!)
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