Sunday, May 27, 2012

The deep....

The patio lights twinkled a welcome, the sun was slanting across the western sky, and the BBQ was warmed up and ready to go....
  Children- ten including a few neighborhood drop-ins, ran in and out the back yard gate, shouting greetings and sorting out rules to a game...
Everything had been prepared in advance, all easy items requiring little or no fussing, and I was able to relax and enjoy the weekend unfolding...
One friend made herself at home in my kitchen, sorting through drawers to find what she wanted, as Daddies popped open root beers and handed them around to thirsty kiddos...
Everyone brought their own meat-items for grilling, and JJ had created a fantastic make-shift table for the many side dishes earlier in the day....
As we laughed, relaxed, and visited, I found myself being aware of a deep contentment in my soul...
Only a few weeks ago, I was in the throes of "what now?" as we waited to see if Adrain was going to get a different job transfer within his company once again... and my world was unexpectedly up in the air.  As that situation melted away and my heart stopped racing in nervous anticipation, I felt slightly discontented (and at the same time relieved) that we were staying put... again.  I'm sure living in a waiting mode for as long as it seems we've lived there, breeds a certain level of discontentment... never knowing if you're up or down, coming or going, you easily find yourself always looking for the next landing spot...
...but as we eased into a long weekend, one where we threw open our doors and our gates, and friends lingered over funny stories... and kids played tag in the dark way after bedtime, it came to me that once more, some big prayers have been answered. 
You see, after we settled down and realized "here" is the "now," I fought that discontentment and I asked God to not only show me where I could be content... but show me that He actually had a plan for me. 
As the sun filtered through the windows early Saturday morning, and the day was full of promise, I realized I had my answers, stretching out before me...
I sat watching Adrain work on a project for me, and we talked about how everything we'd wanted our house and life to become as we sat by sunset, nineteen years ago discussing the countless possibilities, had unfolded up to a point.  It startled me. 
I shamelessly admit that I always wanted some kind of magical storybook family life.  You know, a big, welcoming house filled with laughter, friends, perfect family and celebrations, kids and dogs running in and out, and open arms for new friends, reconnecting with old ones and somehow in the swirl of all that, my personal dream was that I would find hostessing to be an easy and light task.  I'd say that in a way, it felt pretty close to that dream this weekend.  With the sun shining, I realized anew just how blessed we were to have a spacious backyard that beckons, BBQ space, and a welcoming house filled with friends. 
   I looked into the excited eyes of my babies after I told them "Yes, they could sleep on the trampoline all night" and realized this was the dream all along.  Here is the contentment, in this small, sweet moment.
The deep kind of contentment that doesn't come from just expressing words, or merely discussing your many blessings with another...
  But the kind that sneaks up on you when you realize it was there all along and you were too distracted by the chaos or imperfections of life to see and appreciate it.
     You see, this past week, Adrain and I realized afresh what our mission was.  And we were given a great and rare chance to begin something new together- something rewarding.  Sure elements of our life aren't perfect.  Our house isn't the "perfect" layout.  Our yard isn't the "perfect" plan.  Our kids don't always behave perfectly.  Life is far from magical... but it's good.  It's really, really, good and it's incredibly workable if we have the right attitude.
The little miracles are suddenly popping up everywhere, and Adrain and I were recently given an opportunity to see an alternative plan for our life.  It nearly shook me up when I realized how good I've actually had it all along. 

I spent the last two days seeking that deep contentment out, like a long, lost friend. 
 The sweet moment when you're driving to your brother's house and your baby girl, not so little anymore, is fast asleep from the wild trampoline sleep over, the night before.  Noted, breathed in, and appreciated.
 Or the sigh of contentment that comes from the promise of the future.  Holding my sweet baby niece just about does me in, in that department.  Oh she's precious and I can't wait to get to know her better!  Noted, breathed in, and appreciated.
 I think it's so easy to miss the deep contentment in life because it's mixed amongst a jumble of chaos and often so hard to find.  When I feel in chaos, I can't seem to count any blessings in my heart- I miss them all, and I certainly don't appreciate any of them!  And for me, I really do feel like this contentment was here all along, I was just so busy thinking things were going to change that I never let my heart settle down and recognize the countless blessings that brew the tea of contentment.

 I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for this life tonight as I tuck in my babies, and sit down in a tranquil moment to spill my heart after a joy-filled weekend. 
I can't think of a better way to ring in Memorial day than with the direction of these thoughts.  I hope and pray you find a way to count your blessings alongside me and let the wave of deep contentment in an imperfect world, house, or life wash over you. 


  1. WOW!!!! Thanks for that really well timed post. I needed that reminder tonight, to look around and appreciate the blessings I have. I guess we never stop wanting but it's important to live in and be grateful for the here and now. Thanks Sasha! Donna in Kelowna

  2. "Blessings that brew the tea of contentment" is so perfect! Sounds like Anne Morrow Lindbergh is starting to rub off on you!

  3. Sounds like a fabulous way to celebrate, casual & relaxed with lots of good food & laughter. I just stumbled across your gorgeous blog. I look forward to popping back for some more lovely inspiration!


  4. Thanks for the reminder to live it here, now. It's so easy to forget all that we have. Enjoy your day!

  5. Thank you for your constant up beat words...for your cander...for your ability to transform me to your home and make me feel so welcome...Your blog is the only one I follow constantly! You help me to remember to stop and appreciate life as it is..even when it is the worse. Oh and my man starts working out of town tomorrow....I am looking forward to some alone time...but terrified of the handling kids, dog, etc, etc alone again. I had gotten so spoiled having him at home the last few months....I will try to think of you to get me through the tough ones. Thank you!

  6. Thanks for this Sasha! I need to hear this peaceful message as I begin my chaotic day today...I will remember to stop...note...and breathe. Happy Memorial Day Weekend to you!

  7. Thank you! I needed that! I had big plans for this weekend. We were supposed to drive up to my hometown to put flowers on my daddy's grave. I had plans to do a lot of sewing while hubby and the kids put the garden in.'s way too hot (mid 90's) and way too dry (haven't had rain in weeks) to work the soil. All of my starters died. My Sunday was turned upside down with a trip to Redi Med with hubby. He's got bronchitis. Poor guy. So this weekend we are taking it easy and being content with our time. I'm lovin' on my hunny and enjoying some movie time and just hanging out time with the family. I think the Lord knew what we needed.

    Happy Memorial Day to you!

  8. Love. Love. Love. I could type it a thousand times. As someone who is always in a state of "what's next" I needed to read this. To focus on contentment. Thank you!

  9. "Noted, breathed in and appreciated. That about says it all. Happy M:emorial Day Sasha.

    Love your blue jar candles on your pretty table. ;-)

  10. This is beautiful, sash. I spent a lot of time looking ahead and not so much at the present. It's a losing game destined for discontentment. Have you ever read "calm my anxious heart" by somebody dillow? It's so good and so all about this exact thing. I love it...think maybe you've convicted me I need another dose of it. Thank you, dear friend for the wise words.

  11. I am truly happy for you. Enjoy your blessings!

  12. What a perfect post <3 God is so good at allowing us the room to grow and experience these "aha!" moments!!! I was just about in tears reading this!! We get so busy with all of the doing and the running and you're right, the contentment is there all along waiting for us to notice Him <3

  13. Wonderful post and a great reminder to all of us. So often I'm busy trying to "get it together" that I forget to enjoy what IS together now. I got a taste of that this morning while feeding our 2 month old in my rocking chair at 6:45 and opening our door to our other little ones to come in and talk about their dreams and see their smiles first thing in the morning.

  14. "it was there all along..." yes, my dear. i can relate. love you, girlie. pretty pictures, precious family!

  15. I am so very happy for you! What a wonderful weekend in so many ways.

  16. It all looks wonderful to me. Except that I should be sifting through your kitchen drawers...I'm just sayin'!

  17. Beautiful post!

    I can certainly relate to the unknown as we just had a recent move and have a place to stay only for a year. It's certainly a great place and every day I'm reminded to make it "home" for now. What will happen at the end of a year, I don't know but God does and He reminds me to not worry about it but enjoy my today.

    I don't always comment, but I certainly do read and love your blog.



  18. So timely--as we wait for a house's price to be listed to see what our "next steps" are--I made a choice today as we worked in the garden and out in the yard--a choice to be content and so filled with gratitude for this life we have been blessed with--no matter what happens--the running through the sprinklers, the picnic outside, the sounds of children at the end of their school day and the traffic that accompanies it--this is ours--it's where He has placed us for now. This moment will not last forever. This place may or may not be ours forever. . .but the choice to be filled with deep love and happiness for what we have NOW is totally and completely mine. Gasping gratitude on this gorgeous Monday. . .

    1. I wish I had "LIKE" buttons on here like on Facebook.

    2. Thank you. I wish I had a FB just so I could like everything you write! Blessed beyond blessed. God's timing is impeccable. . .

  19. Thank you for your inspiring post! I so connect with you on your thoughts on motherhood, womenhood, and the like. :)

  20. I stumbled on your blog from pinterest and am impressed with what I've read. I've lived this life you write about. Our average time in a town was 2 years for most of my girl's growing up. It finally slowed down and we have almost hit a record of 8 years in one place. I think you've realized the key, to focus on the now and appreciate what you have. I've learned that without all the moving I wouldn't have loved so many special people that are all over this country. In so many ways, it has been a blessing. Peace and contentment and God's richest blessings to you!

  21. It's funny how I can completely picture the day at your house. We've been house hunting and I've noticed that what I was originally looking at was the house. Now I'm looking at the neighborhood with less emphasis on the perfect house. So far we've seen 30+ houses and put in offers for 5 of them. Today we were walking through a neighborhood I liked when I fell in love with another house. The neighbors came out and were telling us how on July 4th they block the cul de sac and throw a big block party where all the kids can run around. I almost dropped to my knees and prayed for this house to be ours right then and there. I want that for my boy.

    Also, that shot of you is just lovely. You are an incredibly beautiful woman. And obviously the coolest mom ever because um, sleeping on the trampoline?! So cool.

  22. That was just what I needed to hear..... I will read this POST again!
    Thanks for Sharing.


  23. I think in those moments where we're not caught up in wanting more, we find the most content feelings, and that is where God has hidden our joy.

  24. What a great post! I'm slowly sinking into contentment too. My life may not be exactly perfect, but it's close enough.

    Thanks for sharing! :)

  25. Absolutely beautifully stated! All we have is right now, this moment...and the reminder you shared is perfect.


  26. Amazing Post that gave me chills!
    I love when you have that moment of seeing what is right in front of you as a gift from God! Way to count your blessings and help others reflect on their own!

  27. it really is a choice to be content in the here and now....and so easy to forget that truth in seasons.
    thanks for the reminder, sasha. :)

    life isn't perfect but it's pretty darn amazing! we're blessed indeed.