Sunday, April 7, 2013

Note to self....

It takes as long as it takes. You can't hurry recovery.  You can't snap your fingers and make it better, can you?  You have to surrender control, do the work that is possible, but everything else is left to simply "be" and most of the time....that takes time.

Last week, I woke up every single day thinking, "Today I am better.  I will be better.  I am not sick.  This thermometer is surely broken.  I will tell my body to be better and it will be." 

And then the number registered 103 degrees and exhaustion overtook me as I realized I was wrong.  It was going to take more time.  I wasn't in control of how long it was going to take to recover. 

It was going to take as long as it took. 

And that's the truth isn't it?  It takes as long as it takes.  We want so badly to rush through the pain because it hurts.  We don't want to be a bother and we get tired of hearing our own voices complaining yet again, because nothing in our circumstances are different.  We want to be done.  We want to be in the next season, or the next chapter, lessons neatly learned and then tucked away for that time we need to give some really good, empathetic advice to someone else.  But real life, in all it's messy glory, is never like that.  We are forced to look into the mirror and face another day that is truly intended as a gift, and often we have to fight our way though that moment just to get to the next.  We'd rather be anywhere else, doing anything else. 

Recovery takes as long as it takes.  When a heart is broken  or wounded.  Or trust has been broken.  Or dreams have been shattered.  Or relationships have been strained beyond what they can bear.  Or finances are smashed and there is no help from anywhere to make it better.  Or when job possibility after job possibility falls through and nothing that used to make sense makes sense any more.  When no end is in sight.  When the tunnel is dark and tears are falling.  When expectations are lost in a sea of, "it wasn't supposed to go like this..."  

It's hard.  Pessimism is contagious when you're in a pit, and feelings tend to look a lot more like facts in the darkness.  In those moments, the one and only thing that pulls me out of the puddle of self-pity I find myself drowning in, are the concrete things I know of God because they are written right there in His word. I had to list them in my journal this weekend, and I thought you might be encouraged by the reminder of His promises too.
God has good plans for me and my future.  Not plans for harm.  (Jeremiah 29:11)
God loves me with an everlasting love.  Not some flimsy, fickle kind of love that changes and shifts when circumstances are different, or when my hair looks good and I've lost ten pounds or I just said the exact right thing to my child and had a stellar mom-moment. (Jeremiah 31:3)
God is faithful, even when I'm not. Which is pretty much daily. AND God's compassion toward me and my circumstances never fail.  NEVER. (Lamentations 3:22-23)
God is filled with great tenderness toward me, as a father for a child, and loves to give me good gifts, which is awesome since gifts are pretty much my love language.  (Luke 11:11-13)
God rescues me because He delights in me.  And I don't know about you, but having someone delight in you no matter how delightful you are (or are not) being is thrilling.  Because I'm not always very delightful. (Psalm 18:19)
God fights for me.  All He requires is that I be still in that trust of His power. (Exodus 14:14)
God is for me. (Psalm 118:6)
God longs for me to not merely exist, and hop from one life moment to the next, He longs for me to live life to the full.  (John 10:10)

 (Isaiah 43:2) "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you."

No matter what you or I face this week, those are His promises and it's really all I need to know.  Does that comfort you like it comforts me?


  1. "Never doubt in the darkness what God has shown you in the light." One of my most favorite sayings ever. Praying for you sweet lady. We just came out of the same sickness. All four of us had it and it was awful. Hang in there!

  2. Thanks for the reminders and the awesome verses! Hope you are back to 100% real soon!

  3. love the reminder of these promises my friend.
    my heart will struggle with peace this week as i have an appointment ahead.
    thank you xo

  4. Yes! Even in the darkest pit... He's ever present.

  5. when we go through rivers of difficulty we will not drown. what amazing hope and promise and comfort. i needed that tonight. big time. going to re-read that in my bible so it will get inside my head! so happy you are feeling better sweet girl!

  6. I think this would be making some sweet, sweet lemonade with some juicy lemons. :) Thank you for the good word, Mama!!

  7. God is amazing- this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear tonight! I loved this- "feelings tend to look a lot more like facts in the darkness" - so TRUE! I am going to print your list of reminders and keep them by my bedside. Thank you for this :)


  8. Couldn't agree more. Love the listing you gave of who God is and the promises we can depend on. Hope each day finds you stronger.

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  10. i came across your blog about a year ago... im not even sure how i found it but im glad i did... you are very inspiring & encouraging. my mom brother were murdered about a year & a half ago. that along with the rest of lifes day to day troubles makes it tough to deal with much of anything.. some days are harder than others. i needed to see these words tonight.. it is so true! when dealing with heartbreak & other issues it does just take as long as it takes.. thank you for your message today!! :)

    1. So sorry to hear of your loved ones. :(

  11. Some days I like to just sit quiet and take in your words. You're so right. Hope you have a week of feeling stronger and brighter. Hugs from England x

  12. YES ! thank you so much! I'm BAWLING right now. I needed THIS. "It wasn't supposed to go like this" has been my mantra for the last few months as trials from all directions are hitting hard!!!

  13. Oh girl that is some GOOOOOD Truth up in there!!!!!! You are so right on with the "it takes as long as it takes"!! God's timing is not ours and He is able to do soooo much in those situations when we just resist the fight and let Him work!!! Kind of like Jacob when he wrestled with God all night! Finally at the end of it, Jacob realized the full value of God alone and received His blessing! Life is hard, things are going wrong(in our eyes and plans) all of the time, but we forget that God is in all of these things and He turns beauty from ashes, when we allow Him too!

    What beautiful reminders of His truths!!! I'm so glad that you are feeling better <3

  14. Thank you for this reminder as I start this week without my sweet dad who went to heaven. His promises give us hope that eternal life prevails over earthly death. Praying you feel better today.

  15. Love this!! I can relate. Love God's promises!! Love His Word!!!! He is praise worthy NO matter what! I've been deep in thought about this all week after a child in our community died in a ATV accident. Nothing like that to bring everything else in perspective. :(

  16. I hope you are feeling better and can do all those things you want to do soon!

  17. yes, they are such comforting scriptures and so full of God's truth. Thanks for sharing your heart with us and blessings for restored health! Wishing you a wonderful, healthy week!

  18. This has been so timely. I am so glad that He NEVER leaves me.

  19. Thank you for this post.Put a big ol' fork in me.I'm done.I am tired.Mostly of trying to fix things,make them better. I can't seem to hear Him.What should I do with my marriage? Should I stay,go.Just do nothing. Wait.Wait for what? So tired of the same old thing.Every weekend the same thing.I leave to go and try enjoy life and my other half stays home. 29 years.All for what? So I will endure again and hope for the best.Keep just always seems like groundhog day for me. What do you do if your spouse just does whatever they want with no regards to the family? Keep praying? Keep thinking I have to stay and survive this? I'm not Moses.I can't do 40 years of the same!!!!OK off my box .Thanks for letting a girl rant.

  20. I have a real hard meeting this morning and have been crying out to Jesus for His peace and courage. And then He directed me to a post I bookmarked in my files... that you wrote over 2 years ago, that ministered to me then... and again this morning. Thank you so much for your heartfelt words of Truth. I will carry those verses with me and trust the One who inspired those words of hope and healing. Appreciate you and your blog. Still reading since I found you in 2006 when I started my blog. You can read my husbands heartbreaking story here ~