Sunday, April 14, 2013

Our quest for fun.

Can we have a heart to heart?  Oh thank you!  Lately, Adrain and I have been super convicted about the lack of fun in our household over the weekends.  The truth is, fun usually costs money and when things are tight, it's so much easier to stay home, in your jammies, watching movies and doing nothing.

We had a rough winter- and when I say "we" I pretty much mean me.  It was a hard one for sure- and if I'm being truly transparent, (which of course I am) I'll admit that it was the hardest one I've had to date. (Thank you for sticking it out with me.)  I'm still very much doing the in-process work to pull myself out of that place, but things are looking up.  When Adrain and I look back, we can admit that many things flipped upside down three years ago, when we made some life and mission decisions that we're still trying to navigate our way through.  I have to be vague here, I'm sorry.  (We're not giving up.  We're just trying to figure it all out and whole-heartedly, and contentedly BE in the place God chooses for us to be whether here, or with an eventual job transfer, etc.)

Anyway, three years is an eternity in kid time.  Adrain and I don't want to be so bogged down in life junk that we suddenly blink and our kids are leaving the nest, carrying a picture of us that has been colored by trials we didn't handle well.  (And there are many that we haven't handled well. I hate that.)  See?  Convicting. 

So... as Adrain and I grapple with those areas we have not handled well, and work to restore balance and such, we are trying our hardest to separate that heaviness from our family times.  We're doing our best to laugh together more.  And wander places.  Get lost on occasion.  Get found.  Road trip locally.  Say yes.  Look at each car ride as an adventure.  It's kind of hard. 

I jokingly (but meant it) said to my kids, "Mama used to be really fun."  How sad is that? Well, I reject that!  I AM FUN dangit.  Or at least I can be, anyway.  So this weekend, we blew out of the house.  We had some things we had to do, and things we had obligations to, but Adrain and I made time for just each other.  We were exhausted from flu recovery and head colds hanging on etc, but we put that priority at the top and I'm so glad we did.  Somehow we mustered up enough energy to leave home and find a bit of fun here and there. 










 The last of my birthdays are happening this week, so I am beginning preparations... that can be fun. 



 
Honestly, it feels like work to force the fun right now.  I keep telling myself that sometimes you have to fake it til you make it.  Am I crazy?  I just wish someone out there could reassure me and say, "Yes, this is totally normal and just keep going... it WILL get better!" Which of course is silly. 

But... have any of you ever felt like this in life?  I know a lot of you that have older kiddos, or grown kids, and I'd love to know how you made it fun in spite of life heaviness, hormones, (theirs and yours) and pre-teen/teen drama etc. 

Help! I appreciate every tid-bit of love and encouragement you care to leave in my comments box...




64 comments:

  1. Yes, it's normal and it will pass. Yes, you can fake it till you make it. Yes, smiling helps even if it's fake! I totally believe all of this. Have faith that things will get better and they always do. Go for a drive and cry your eyes out every now and then...it helps me. :) Truly I say that because you want to seem ok with your kids but sometimes you have to melt down.

    Here's another tidbit - my boys are 23 and 20. They don't remember the yukky parts they remember the good parts! Isn't that reassuring? It amazes me because as parents the yukky part can be so overwhelming.

    Here's another thing..my husband and I sometimes look around and think other people are having a lot more fun than us. We are both worker bee/worriers. I'm not sure that's 100% true though. You never really know what others are going through.

    I've said all of this to tell you that reassessing things sometimes is great and times will get better. :)

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    1. Stacey, a mentor mom at MOPS told us that she'll start worrying about her kids and some incident in their childhoods' that she regrets and when she apologizes they have NO recollection of it. She's in her late 70's with grandkids and it was so calming to me to hear that. Thank you for echoing it here.

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    2. I love what you said Stacey- a cry my eyes out moment is always like therapy and I love that you said to do it! My mama always says a cry is good for the soul. I also LOVE that you and Shannon both said this about kids remembering the good parts. I bet that's a gift from God just for our parent hearts. Oh and the fact that it's SO easy to look around and see all the smiles and fun photos and think everyone out there is having a blast and all I'm doing is disciplining. I really needed that reminder. Thank YOU for the encouragement!!

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  2. Oh my, I think you have a window into my heart. I've been feeling the same way. My kids are much younger than yours but I totally get it. You have to work for fun...it's out there but darn it can be hard sometimes. Thanks for this, it's always a work in progress and it's just what I needed to hear.

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    1. I know how much work they are when they are little...Let's go look for that fun girl!! :)

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  3. Oh Sasha I am at that very same place in my life. I have been like this for a little while. My boys are 19 and 13. My oldest is away at college and hasn't experienced my "hormone rages". Unfortunately my husband and youngest have. I think the hardest thing for me is that I don't have any one to talk to other than my husband. We are a Navy family and we have moved so much that I really don't have any close girl friends. It's kind of reassuring for me that I'm not the only one going through this. There are days when all I want to do is cry and other days when I feel like ripping someone heads off. I have read that it will pass and I fully believe it will. So I do fake it and smile away and I try to laugh daily. At the end of each day when my youngest gives me a kiss goodnight and when my oldest texts me goodnight I know I'm going to be alright. And I think you will too. Keep talking about it I try to live by "Every day may not be good but there is something good in every day"

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    1. Oh and loneliness is the worst! I've had a very lonely winter and I think not having girlfriends to encourage you is so hard. I hope you are able to go out and make some good uplifting friendships soon... I love that quote. There is something good in every day. I'm a pessimist and tend not to see that... gotta work on it. Thanks for the reminder!

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  4. Wow -- so are we really ALL... NORMAL then? LOL. I have to agree w/ Stacey and Becky... (up above ^ ) You do fake it until you make it. And guess what? Judging by these comments, I'd say that we're not the only ones out there "faking it." One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. Doing the best you can do with what you've been dealt, so to speak. It makes it all sound depressing -- but don't worry... one day you'll find that you're smiling, and saying yes, and having adventures -- and you're not faking it. And THAT'S a good day!

    I always worry about how my kids look back on the almost 18 months that my husband was unemployed. (They were 7 and 10.) But, you know what they remember? They remember family teamwork, and re-thinking things so that we wouldn't spend so much money, and starting some new & better habits, and really LEANing on God, and really SEEing him work, and really loving how loved we felt by those who helped us out. Turns out, it's not a bad memory for them.

    Re: adventures -- One of the things we like to do is go to a local flea market (almost) every Saturday. We find lots of good deals on produce & groceries (there's a grocery outlet there), and we come home with treats and treasures that didn't cost us a bundle... and we get to say "yes." My hubby is great about driving and stopping places just because -- or trying out a new ice cream place, or wandering through a pumpkin patch. He even thinks of things that are photo opps for me, and then they end up being at some fun place where we all have fun.

    Sasha, we all go through our rough patches. Some rougher than others. You are not alone!! You'll get through this girl! I love all of the beautiful and happy pictures in this post. They are evidence of good times!!! We didn't get an adventure this weekend, and I'm kind of missing it right about now...

    ~Sally

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    1. I adore you Sally. I love that you reminded us that they only really remember the good for the most part. I am totally depending on that... and I know these kids are watching us and how we stay firm in our faith and maybe that's the lesson that's super important right now. Sounds like our hubbies are similar. Mine always brings the fun and the adventure too. Love that!

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    2. Some day, sweet girl -- we are gonna meet! Amen and amen.

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  5. Sasha, Ditto on Stacey's above comment. Things can seem so uncertain at times when we are invited into seasons of transition. As an older woman who has been married 35 years, has 2 grown children and is a grandma - I want to pass these words onto to you: Stay close to the Lord, lean on His promises for yourself and your family and remember Love is a Choice (especially at times when you may not feel very loving). We build strength upon strength which is what you did when you chose to go on a family outing, you chose to practice fun (sometimes adults need to relearn how to have fun), you created a birthday environment with yummy baked goods, etc. These choices are not based on feeling but out of obedience and gratitude to God. There is much to learn about what true Love is. Remember these times can be wonderful opportunities for making changes that will grow stronger, healthier relationships and lifestyles. I know we just recently met but already I know you are an amazing woman to share such transparency while still being respectful of your family's privacy. That is a gift. There was no whining in this post just the questioning and need for reassurance. It is my hope that you will receive hope and that in turn others will be encouraged because you asked the question. Praying God's best for you.

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  6. Sasha, I am where you are and feel like I have been here for the better part of 3 years. I am so sick of it. Even on meds I still feel that everything is so.dang.hard. I have an almost 6 year old boy and a 2 1/2 year old little girl. I don't want them to look back and wonder what was wrong with mom for all those years and why couldn't I pull out of it for them. I just stroked the hair of my oldest as he fell asleep, sick with a stomach bug, and prayed that the Lord would help me to make this summer full of intentional joy with my children. It's my hearts deepest desire right now. I will pray for you as you and your family as you wait on the Lord and try to establish being settled and having fun while you wait.

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    1. Aww sweet girl, I want a summer like that too. It's going to require our efforts but I suppose everything that matters requires a bit of intentionality right? Prayed for a great summer for us both, just a minute ago.

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  7. We have a little guy and to be honest taking him anywhere is a huge chore. He is a darling boy, but a lot of work. Sometimes we force ourselves to go out and try to have fun and he ends up making everyone miserable. It is just a tough age! Other times we stay home but I go a little stir crazy because I am home a lot!

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    1. Boy do I get that. So much. Sounds like we're not alone with these feelings though, reading some of the encouragement left here by others... hang in there!

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  8. Sasha, You are such a strong woman and such a example of a wonderful mother. You are honest with your feelings and that is why I enjoy coming to visit. I think we all have those feelings during our years of nurturing our children. But our children feel the love that we show them and years later I believe that is what they remember.

    I am a wife of 39 years, the mother of two boys, and a new grandmother of one beautiful grandson. Our oldest son is turning 33 this year and our youngest would have been 31 this November. We lost him almost 10 years ago in an auto accident. We had a saying put on his marker that he wrote that I think fits this post..."Show someone your weaknesses and they will show you their strengthens." You have shown your feelings and the comments above have been given to help encourage and strengthen you. Thank you for your post.

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    1. My heart breaks for your loss. I can't imagine and you sharing that reminds me to truly stop and enjoy both the good and the not so good with these kids. Precious and short time with no promises of forever. Thank you for that.

      I love that you used the word "nurturing" our children. It helps to really think of it that way... such a soft word.

      Bless you!

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  9. Sweet Sasha I am and I g you an email so ad not to write a novel in your comment box.

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  10. Well, I don't have kids...but I totally related to your thoughts about "fake it until you make it." I've found myself in that situation occasionally when I'm planning meals or other activities for my student staff or for friends...and sometimes, the best way I've found to "fake it" is to find simple accomplishment in getting things done. Whether it's baking the cake, sending the card, or whatever - I focus on simply completing the task, and often find that, somewhere in there, I find joy in a small detail - getting the sprinkles on the cake just right, or the smile on his or her face when they receive it.

    Sending you lots of hugs and blessings as you navigate your path! =)

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    1. I love that you responded and were able to relate to that feeling- it touches all of life in ways doesn't it? I love the idea of just doing the small details and finding the joy in THAT. I tend to get caught up in the big picture and the discouragement rather than just doing today and appreciating the small joy of this moment.

      Thank you for this encouragement girl.

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  11. I feel ya, sister...all of it. Grief on top of a husband working full time and going to school almost full time, while continuing to raise our other three children has taken its toll on me. The good news is, my man is just weeks away from graduation! (doing the happy dance!!) The other good news is, I'm finally starting to heal a little bit. It's been three years since our little doll died. I still feel like staying in bed all.day.long. sometimes, but at least those days are fewer and farther between. Thank you for always sharing your heart. Praying right now for you.
    Love and hugs,
    Christy

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    1. That is a FULL plate girl. One of my best girlfriends is dealing with that too. I don't know how she manages. She (and I'm pretty sure you are too) is a rock star!

      I'm so sorry about your sweet baby girl. I can't imagine the heartbreak my friend. They are so precious in every way, even the hard days and the frustrating moments. It breaks my heart that you have such deep loss but it also serves as a reminder to my heart to appreciate the moment right NOW that I'm given, even if it feels crappy every now and then. Thank you for sharing and I pray that God continues to give you strength to get out of bed and gives you huge blessings in the coming days, as only He can do.

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  12. Then love you shall get! So many people are in your shoes right now. The economy still sucks in so many places and we're all struggling to keep heads above water, cheer on our breadwinners when they are feeling defeated and pinch the pennies while still having FUN. You're on the right track. I had a similar epiphany a couple Christmases ago when we knew without a doubt that there was no faking it. We don't do debt and that meant we had what we had and it wasn't much. I remember feeling depressed, horrible and like a failure, knowing I could not give my kids the big boom of Christmas morning. And then I remembered that feeling of wanting to cut back, feeling like we'd lost the meaning, feeling like we were setting ourselves and our kids up to love the things of Christmas more than the Man. So I decided to pretend like I had buckets of money just waiting for me and instead I was CHOOSING not to use it, but to keep it simple, to do all the inexpensive but memory making things, like making goodies for friends, seeing the live nativity, singing carols, sharing stories. That simple choice made all the difference. Yes we still had to pinch, but it was an adventure in finding the joy without the $$. You're doing amazing things. Keep at it sister. We're all cheering you on!

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    1. I absolutely LOVE this. Choice. What a simple word and idea but what a HUGE difference it makes. I forget that. I'm so grateful to your wisdom and your encouraging reminder.

      I will work today to make a choice with my attitude. Thank YOU!

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  13. So, am I normal? I was thinking yesterday about this! I thought all the other families seemed to be having fun but us! Friday night, boys (6) were not behaving when I suddenly understood. I had to drag dad from the computer and "forced" us to play bingo with the boys. They were laughing (and behaving!). We "faked" it that night, but the boys really enjoyed it. Hey, listening to their laughs made my night! Thanks for sharing!

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    1. I meant 6 year old boys. Not, 6 boys!

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  15. Dear friend you are not alone! It does seem like our whole country has an air of sadness hanging over us. We are all working to keep our heads above water while it seems like we are little hamsters on wheels - not getting anywhere! We also have to stop and pull ourselves away from work so we don't forget that in a few short years, our girl will also be flying the nest. Take the time, don't feel guilty. Have fun with your family. You are gorgeous, your kiddos are darling. Enjoy your life. This is the only one we will be given and God expects us to have fun too! Blessings to you and your family. Susan

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    1. It is true.. there is a big sadness out there... but you're also right, this is the ONLY life we get. I love the verse that says God came to give us life and life to the FULL.

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  16. I was just thinking that yesterday, "I used to be fun. I used to be a fun Momma." Then autism hit. But it helped me find my way to being the kind of momma I needed to be.
    We are also trying to push the fun envelope. It's not easy, although you feel like it should be.
    You'll get through it darlin', and your kids will come to see how hard you worked to get there.
    Continued blessings...

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  17. As everyone else above has already said "Yes, it's normal!!!" and you can fake it till ya make it!! We don't really ever have the money or the time to go out and find fun, it's hard recovering from job loss and other major life jolting experiences, but we try very hard to make every day fun, to laugh over as much as possible, to sing and dance and just be goofy. Sometimes even a certain look can bring about a lighthearted smile and laugh.

    And of course, most importantly, seek God's face every.where.all.the.time.!!!! When He is your guiding force and what surrounds you, life seems to lighten up!! You are an incredible woman, wife and mother, you love on your people extravagantly and make them each feel very special and valued, I can tell!!! Don't sell your efforts short - you are creating very special memories for your children and husband and those are the things that they will remember.....they were very well loved <3

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    1. Love this my friend. You always have such sweet encouragement to offer. Laughter is important. I'm working to laugh a lot MORE!!

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    2. Thank you for that encouragment :) If you ever need a laugh, I'm good for a few of them!!! <3

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  18. I'm enjoying reading all of the comments left for you! I think it is safe to say we are all going through tough things. Sorry you had such a bad winter. Thanks for being so open about things, makes me feel a little more normal :) My kids are much younger than yours so I have no advice but to say I have HEARD when they are young it is more physically exhausting and when they are older more mentally exhausting. Sorry I'm no help but I'll keep you in my prayers.

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    1. I know, there are buckets of wisdom here among these amazing women. I'm re-reading all of these comments for like, the third time today!

      and I've totally heard that about kiddos too... I think I'm at the very middle where they are still kind of physically exhausting but they are also mentally draining! (Of course I don't have to run and chase them anymore so that's nice. LOL)

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    2. Oooh, Good point! I never thought that there might be a dreaded middle ground of both physically and mentally exhausting. I have so much NOT to look forward to with that one. ha! You seem like a fun person to me so chin up and find fun (and I will do the same).

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  19. Hi Sasha. We are always on a budget...sometimes go away for 2 nights, but only once a year. So typically, we are looking for low or no budget options! Luckily, our kids love to play outside with each other, or with the neighborhood kids. But when we are looking for a little more....the seasons dictate....in fall, the pumpkin patch, the apple orchard, in winter, the library, the bookstore (with Christmas $$)....games in the cozy kitchen, in spring....outside to run around the yard, walks by the Cape Cod Canal, walks to the ocean...picnic at the lighthouse, rides in the car, visit to the daffodil fields....in summer, the beach, a cone of ice cream, with an occasional overnight or adventure. We are sort of homebodies. We play lots of games and cards....it's all good.

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    1. I love that you work on little getaways. I think that's our next goal. We have a doggy now so that complicates things, but we are working on a fun summer week plan with camping and I'm hoping we can enjoy the planning and looking forward to process. I think that's the biggest fun- the anticipating!

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    2. Yes, we have a doggie mow too, so it does complicate a bit! I would love to go camping! I know our kids would have a blast together....too bad we are so far apart!

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    3. now not mow...grrrrrrrr I am so careless!

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  20. Oh I hear you!!! I would love to go back and have a redo. I would of done more with my children.I was working full time and then would help my sister at her store FRI. SAT AND SUN. i WAS GONE WAYYYYY TOO MUCH FOR MY KIDS. oH HOW i WISH i STAYED WITH THEM MORE.i WAS TRYING TO HELP HER WITH HER STORE SO i COULD SELL MY ARTWORK . It didnt work,closed the store and I had turned in tome with my kids for what? The guilt is pressing hard on me. I missed so much.I thought I was doing the right thing.NOT.Have you thought of a part time job? Just to get you with other people for a while? Maybe a home decor store ? Just a thought. My kids are grown the youngest is soon to be 20.I'm not doing well with it
    Very weepy. Crying a lot. I messed up,I should of done things different. But all I can do is move forward.Be with them now.My marriage is in the, well it's not good.The house will soon be empty.I can't bear to look up in her room when she leaves. She is moving in with her bro0ther because of our marriage. My husband won't stop drinking.Ruining everything.So after 29 years of marriage I may be facing divorce.Wow never thought it would be like this.One day at a time.Get out a little more with some girl friends.Remember you are doing great things.You are raising God's gifts. Keep going. Thank you for being honest.

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    1. Oh girl... I think it's really easy as women to be super hard on ourselves. I know I do it! We look back and we "should" all over the place. One of my dearest girlfriends has a big sign on her fridge that says, "Don't "Should" on me." I love that.

      I am so sorry to hear about your husband all the struggles you are working through right now. We have a lot of extended family members dealing with major addictions right now, and it's heartbreaking to watch the circle of people and things it effects. I don't have big words of wisdom, but I know it's really hard. My man and I just went to lunch today and spent the majority of our time discussing one situation and what we needed to do about it. It's troubling and there's not always an answer other than wait on God.

      praying for you.

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  21. Hi again - as I was reading some blogs during my lunch break, I came across this article (http://www.incourage.me/2013/04/three-ways-to-be-brave-when-you-feel-like-a-wimp.html) and something in my heart suggested sharing it with you. I hope it speaks encouragement to your heart. =)

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    1. That was wonderful!! thank you so much for sharing that! I loved this quote, "It’s true, you have limits. But it is also true that you have abilities. They aren’t from you, but they have your fingerprints. And now Jesus wants to touch the world through the filter of your personality, your desire, your passions, and your ideas."

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  22. well, your transparency is being used by God...
    you are not alone...we're all in the trenches with you.

    ALL of us wonder if our kids will leave home "carrying a picture of us that has been colored by trials we didn't handle well." I read those words and said "ouch" out loud at my computer.

    Andy and I had a season of FUN in Orlando...we were working extra hard on our marriage while we lived there, but there was a lot of built in fun in that great city. Lots of free things, despite Disney being 30 minutes away. :) We're noticing that we've lost the fun factor here...we have some fun, but nothing like we did in Orlando. Our schedules are busier, and it hinders "fun." But, like you guys, we're constantly reevaluating our life together...our decisions....our choices. We're determined to date each other and date our kids...

    Praying reprieve for you guys...and provision as you wait...

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    1. Okay that's it. I'm moving to Orlando. Hahahahaha!

      But really, I think it's true that it's also seasonal sometimes. That means the season will END and a new (better?) one will begin at some point.

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  23. yeah....i hear ya...youre not alone girlie.
    and that quote from miss tara just totally kicked my butt.
    guilty as charged.
    xoxo

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  24. Beautiful photos!! And I hear ya on trying to have fun with your family despite hard times!!

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  25. We went through the same thing recently too. We worked extra hard this winter and definitely took less time to enjoy any time we did have together. And everyone suffered.

    I told my husband that when we worried less about finances (and we making less) we had more fun and did more stuff. So we also have made the conscious effort to DO more. At first it felt like a lot to me. And I kept wishing I had this or that done. But this or that will get done eventually. We need time to enjoy.

    We need to schedule play. Enjoy it.

    And have you ever noticed that it takes the exact amount of time to get the chores done as you give yourself. HUGE eye opener to me. I can spend 1 hour late in the weekend accomplishing the same that I could all day if I didn't limit myself time wise. Ironic.

    Good luck!

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    1. Oh that's good- when you worry LESS you have more fun. True with all of life but probably especially with finances. I'm going to adopt this attitude. and I'm going to keep scheduling play.

      And yes...that comment about chores is a great one. Such good wisdom. I'm going to write that down in my journal!!

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  26. Thankyou for this post. I wish I had some advice for you but I'm feeling it too. Just praying for the joy of the Lord to fill my heart and for Him to work out the details.

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    1. Praying for the Joy of the LORD is never a wasted prayer. Let's hang in there together girly.

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  27. Oh my goodness, I started reading your post and thought, you're writing about my life! Things have been tough, you're really not alone. Yes, it is hard to have fun when there's no spare cash and you can't really afford to put petrol in the car to go anywhere fun. And throw in a harsh winter weather wise and boy, can you feel down. Good for you getting out of the house though and spending time together, that is so important. And it's true, my children (19 and 22 yrs) only really remember the good stuff. I stayed home all the while they were growing up, so we had to be careful with money, but recently my daughter said she was really pleased I was there all the time. I wouldn't change a thing. The fun will return, we all go through phases in life and things change, but you'll always be there for each other. Sending sunshine (we had some in England today, yay!!) xx

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    1. that means a LOT... to hear that though you couldn't do a lot, just being there meant something to her. I wonder that all the time and think maybe I need a part time job besides the one I do, so that we can afford fun vacations and stuff like that. But I really WANT to be here for them and so that's a sacrifice I begrudgingly make. I think I need to stop making that choice begrudgingly and start looking at what a treasure it is to be ABLE to be there with them. And find little bits of fun here and there...

      Thank you for the English sunshine!! :) You always make my heart smile.

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    2. Sasha, I came back to read what everyone had to say on this subject. Doesn't it feel good to know we've all been there? When my boys were growing up I mostly stayed home. I'm a teacher and would sometimes kind of feel like the world was passing me by. Twice I went back to work for 2 years...just couldn't stand being away from my boys. We had to really count pennies. We found every possible way to have fun for free. We played games, walked, baked, played with friends, went to the pool alot, played ball, you know the things kids are supposed to do. I remember such wonderful times! There were definitely really trying times too, without a doubt. They pass. My sons remember baking, they remember good food, and fun times. They STILL go camping with my husband. They don't ever talk about our 2 trips to Disney - isn't that funny? We all think we have to do that and it just isn't the top of the list for my kids.

      I'm rambling...I just want you to know that it will be ok and good and wonderful! Your kids will have great memories because you love and care for them. You will have to deal with misbehavior, and school issues, and medical issues, and money, all of that. We definitely did! Take care of yourself and your sweet husband so you can love your kids the best way possible.

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  28. Some of the memories my grown children remember the most didn't cost much money -
    A newly washed head of lettuce - divide up the wet leaves and get each other wet - I live in AZ - anything to stay cool in the summer
    We have a grassy area near our home with a moderate hill. I took my large square Tupperware container and froze water - took the block of ice out and they were able to sit on it and slide down the hill - they thought it was great fun. Of course we took a snack with us.
    I went to the Dollar store and they had slippers that looked liked tennis shoes - I bought a pair for each of us and also a set for my mom who was visiting.
    No one knows a woman's heart like another woman - Let us continue to encourage one another.

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  29. My children are grown now and I have had the same thoughts. You'll never regret the time you take for fun.

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  30. oh girl, i feel as if you're reading my mind.
    i've felt like this the last couple of weeks - I used to be FUN!
    and now i feel like i'm more worried about cleaning and schedules and
    feeding and all that mommy stuff that i forget to LAUGH and have fun with my kids. and mind you, they are still young kids.
    so any little thing will be grand for them (a treasure hunt, walk outside etc) i just need really to get my heart in the right place :)

    thanks so much for your post.xoxo

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  31. Sitting here on a break at work getting teary eyed reading all these heart-felt comments. Women are just amazing. We care so much and take so much on for our loved ones! I don't have children yet but this post makes me think of my own hard working mama and what some of her struggles must have been like. I didn't appreciate her as much as I wish I had, but luckily I can appreciate her now the way she deserves! I have such comforting memories, despite life's struggles, and I know your children will feel the same when they look back!

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  32. I can sooo relate to this right now! "Forcing the fun" and not letting the "heaviness" of life weigh us down... my girls are 10 (almost 11) and 12 (almost 13) and these days life is everything but effortless. Good times and calm have to be created and smiling through the eye rolls and complaining isn't always easy. But, then out of nowhere there are sweet moments and "I love you's" that remind me that God is present and that this season of life (like every other season) will pass.

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  33. I'm pretty sure if we were neighbors we'd be doing nothing but having fun. In fact, probably you would have to sit down with me at your cozy kitchen table where I'd be sipping a frosty beverage with a paper straw, maybe even with a little pennant flag attached to the top, and you would break the news to me that I cause you to have too much fun and you need a little more seriousosity in your life, and would I please go home now. And I would fall to the floor in a dramatic fashion with my hand over my brow and the other one clutching my heart and your kids would also fall to the floor and with their hands outstretched to you in a Shakesperian fashion, beseech you to let me still come around, because they can't get enough of me and my shenanigans and even Adrain would be like, Babe, she cooks a mean pot roast, can't she come over still? And then you'd, with furrowed brow, contemplate whether or not I am really your best friend and can you handle all that I bring to your life? And you would write a blog post about it and all your blog friends would be so intrigued that they, too, would move to the neighborhood. Meanwhile, I'd move into your home, into that cozy guest bedroom and your kids would call me "Aunt Kearsie" aka "Fun Kearsie" and I'd teach them to clip their toenails and maybe, if they need it, their nostril hair, because everyone has to learn sometime. And we would discuss whether or not if Twilight really is dumb and probably we would make fun of Kristin Stewart's acting and maybe go a whole day wherein we use Kristin Stewart's acting face (you know, not smile at all) and the point is, we really need to be neighbors.

    P.S. Hugs :)

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  34. I saw myself when you said you "used to be fun"! Hmmmm....I find myself plodding through life and getting caught up in the day to day stuff. My son goes to college in a few months...did I do enough...did we make enough fun memories together...I think in the long run he looks back to a happy childhood with fun and family and love...The fact that you and your family love each other and are present for each other is a gift in itself. You are doing a good job, Sasha.

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