Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Taking a North Turn.

I had a lot on my mind this morning, an was up nice and early dwelling (some would say "worrying") on it because I had forgotten who was in control of it all, and somehow assigned myself the job.  Regardless, I strapped on my running shoes and hit the trail.  It seems like everywhere I turn, I've got a precious friend in crisis. I kind of tend to absorb the heartache around me (I'm working on learning big lessons with that but it's an entirely different post).  Add to all that, my own list of things-that-aren't-going-so-well and it's no wonder I keep waking up in the middle of the night wrapped in a blanket of "hymn-dreaming."

I'll explain.  My man takes my hand in his big, strong one each night, as I cuddle up to him and stick my icy feet on his leg, and he prays for things with me.  This is my very favorite part of every single day.  It took us nearly sixteen years of marriage to establish this tradition by the way.  But we do it.  And it sets my heart where it needs to be.  Anyway, I grew up in a tiny, tiny country church in Montana.  The kind where the pews were hard, the sermons were long (sorry Daddy!  Ha!), the preacher's wife packed a wooden spoon in her purse in case her children (me) stepped out of line, and hymns were sang to the accompaniment of an eighty year old with a piano.  Tender memories there, let me tell you.  And when I'm weighed down by life's aches, I often wake up with one of those tried and true songs on my lips.  As though I've been singing it in my dreams.    

I love the verse, "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock in whom I take refuge."  (Psalm 18:2a) In "Made to Crave," Lysa TerKeurst says, "Even the smallest drop of God's strength is more than enough to cover our frailties, our shortcomings, the places where we deem ourselves weak."  
 I can't tell you how weak I've been feeling lately and the truth is it's because I have been doing it again- trying to rely on MY power and capability. Dangit!  I feel like I've been walking in circles the same direction each day, trying to fix things that are so far beyond my fixability it's not even funny.  There are things broken that I could never have anticipated breaking, and I have no way to ever fix them in my own power, nor do I have the energy to even want to anymore.  We all have things without solutions, hurts without salve, troubles that only time and God's handiwork will make sense of, and I had to laugh when I came across this verse, "You have circled this mountain long enough.  Now turn north." (Deuteronmy 2:3)   

I'm in need of a "turn north."  Anyone else?

  So that brings me to today's Jesus Calling for Kids devo.  The verse... the one that consistently follows me around when I'm flailing my arms and legs, and kicking and screaming, and striving, and trying, and worrying and stressing... the Be Still verse.  "Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)   

The devo said, "Sometimes when you try to be still, fears and worries creep into your mind.  Then you start planning ways to avoid the things that scare you.  Soon, your thoughts are far away from Me.  When you feel that happening, bring your thoughts back to Me.  Stop your planning.  Remember that I am always with you, so there is no reason to worry or fear.  Be still, and let Me be your God."

Yeah.  That didn't apply to me at all. Bwahahahaha.   

In closing, both my man and I have been hitting continuous re-play on Casting Crown's new song, "Already There."  It's like they crawled inside our minds to write this;

From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

 When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

 Of course it's true.  He's already there.  He holds our future.   

"Lord, let me absorb that truth, rather than all the crisis and heartache out there...."

(My "Be Still and Know" print arrived on my doorstep from the sweetly fabulous Heather at Life Made Lovely, and can be purchased here.)


Denise said...

I read a quote on another blog some time ago. Sorry I can't remember the author's name or the site. It was something along the lines of we expect God to do in the here and now what he has ordained for us in eternity. Another great verse is Deut. has been a rock for me.

Alisa Lamb said...

I am in the middle of studying Deuteronomy (have been all year!) and I love how you brought out that verse in this post. Sometimes He allows us to wander around for quite a while, doesn't He? Thank you for the reminder that He is already there... to Him my future is a memory. (Such a great line.)

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

I LOVE this denise!! Such truth... and that verse is a personal favorite of mine too. thanks for sharing!

The Every Day Extraordinary said...

Here's to knowing. . .and remembering (even when we're stuck). For you and me both friend:) xoxo

Mama Ds Dozen said...

So walking this walk . . . :)

First of all . . . my Daddy was the preacher. I was the little girl sitting in the hard pew for the looong sermons. My Mama just held the threat of the wooden cutting board when we got home (if we misbehaved in the front row of church).

I was the one laying in bed last night (early morning) with my head filled with worries. Seriously. Hardly ever happens, but I was wide awake with worries from 4:30-5:30 am (which is NOT my usual wakeup time).

Love the quote by Lysa T. I must finish that book. 13 years ago, I spoke at a convention in Illinois. She was a speaker there, as well, and our book tables were next to each other. She is a precious lady.

" We all have things without solutions, hurts without salve, troubles that only time and God's handiwork will make sense of, and I had to laugh when I came across this verse, "You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north." (Deuteronmy 2:3) " Perfectly said. I, too, need to "Turn North". Oh.My.Yes.

Okay . . . the song that you closed with. Powerful Words. I must look that up right now!!!

Thanks for sharing your heart, My Friend. We seem to be walking the same walk much of the time. Now . . . let's Turn North together.

Hugs & Prayers,

Laurel :)

Jenn @ What You Make It said...

Wow, I can't tell you how much I needed this! Especially the part about "turn north" - I love when the Bible just presents you with gems you understand differently or never quite understand until you need it. I'm tired of walking in circles about things in my life I think aren't fair or hurt over or feel anxious about! Thanks for the thoughts : )

Denise @ frazzled JOY said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Denise @ frazzled JOY said...

Yes. Turning North! I wrote this a couple of months ago

Thanks for sharing your heart!

Nantucket Daffodil said...

I adore the scene of your husband holding your hand and praying. While I cannot quote a bible verse for you, I do feel like you are holding on to hope and faith. Remember also, as you search for the path He is leading you on, that perhaps you are here to lead others.....

misscandice said...

Where are you from in Montana? I thought my hometown of Lewistown was as small as they got!


carissa @ lowercase letters said...

i did Beth Moore's Deuteronomy study last year. it was life-changing.

amen - to absorbing Him and His word.

and what an amazing Truth to absorb - even the smallest amount of His strength is more than enough.

praying for you. xoxo.

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

I was born in Livingston, and raised in both Bozeman and then later Gallatin Gateway! I lived in GG from age 9-14. I used to go to church camp in Lewistown. Camp Lewtana I think. It was AWESOME!! :)

maggie@septemberrust said...

wow! what a great post. i too have trouble being still...ruminating, planning, hoping, wishing...then i realize of all these things i should be trusting, worshipping, loving...thank you for sharing your heart.

Lea Culp said...

Oh, "Be Still and Know" has been my life verse since the birth of my first child some 36 years ago. I still struggle. What a tremendous post my dear!

Farmgirl Paints said...

Love the image of you two curled up praying. We used to do that. :-\ Listening is the hardest part. I'm always so wrapped up and in crisis mode that I think I hear, but I'm just tuning into myself. It does require being still. And that literally means doing nothing. Yikes! Talk about trust. We should at least be treading right;-) Love you. So much!

Liz said...

Great post Sasha. Love you and praying for you and your sweet family this morning! Psalm 119:165 "Great peace have they who love Your law, and nothing can make them stumble." Be blessed!

six3design said...

You have no idea how much I need that today.

Stress Less said...

It seems like you know exactly what's going on in my life. How is that possible? Thank you so much for these words...and YES I need to turn North! Funny I don't think I've ever noticed that before. Thank you for pointing it out to me. Praying for you and your family.

Gina said...

I pulled up your blog yesterday to read but didn't have time so came back to it this morning. So, this morning the verses I read that stood out to me were these: Exodus 14: 13-14 But Moses said to the people, “Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever. The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent.” I wrote, "The Lord will fight our battles" in the margin of my Bible. Then I listened to Revive Our Hearts Ministry radio program for today and there were those same verses!! I knew God was speaking. And now, here I am reading basically the same still. All I can say is, "speak Lord, your servant is listening." :) As always, thank you for sharing. I always look forward to your posts. :)

golonghorns said...

So I log onto your blog for a break from my to do list and to refresh myself. Yesterday was rough, I've been missing my Mom who went to be with Jesus this past fall. I sobbed over the kitchen sink last night and as we went to put the older kids to bed my husband read the Jesus calling devo to the kids and there it was "Be Still". It was Mom's favorite scripture verse. Now here it is a reminder today! I'm having a good cry and know that I was supposed to read this! Have a blessed day :)

golonghorns said...

Was wondering where you got your Be still print. I'd like to get one!

Rebekah Tice said...

I loved that devotional too! Why do we always fall back into our old habits of relying on our own strength when we do not even come close to the omnipotence of our Heavenly Father? Crazy, we're just crazy. Another devotional in their recently reminded us to pray first. If we have a decision to make or anything...pray first. It might have been in the adult version, but none the less it was another great reminder. Our Father, the God of the Universe, wants to hear our prayers. So why not go to Him first instead of as a last resort. So grateful to be able to be still and know that he is such a faithful God!

TracyGirls(Jill) said...

I am almost always amazed at how God puts our words out there at times when others need it the most. Isn't it amazing how our own struggles can actually give someone else the words of encouragement? That is what you did for me, Sasha, after reading this post. Your words couldn't have been more spot on for something I have had stirring in my heart lately. Thank you so much for always keeping it real! And I sure hope your heart starts feeling a little lighter as well...

misscandice said...

Camp Lewtana - Represent! I was there nearly every summer! What a small world! I was raised in Lewistown and then went to school in Bozeman and ended up graduating from University of Montana.
I love following your blog and now I'll look for more homages to MT :)