I was standing in front of the the bathroom mirror, contemplating cutting my hair, letting my natural curls take over, letting my gray grow in (more on that soon) and other, really earth-shattering thoughts, when it hit me out of nowhere, for no apparent reason.
"Over time, small choices become big decisions."
It was so profound that stopped in the tracks of my deep hair thoughts, and wrote it down.
Then I went off to coffee with Nurse Nicki and we talked about it. (We talked about hair too. Just so you know.) I sat there in the sunshine, my hands wrapped around a tea mug as we mulled over all the areas of life where one small choice after another, seemingly insignificant, blend themselves together to create life's big decisions. You know, things like what we say, what we do, what we think, what we spend, what we eat, what we get lazy about, what we laugh at, etc. It was a gloriously deep moment and I got into my car thinking about all of the amazing small changes I was about to begin making.
I went home to put some fall touches out and welcome kiddos home after school. It wasn't twenty minutes before I got mad because nothing was getting done without me either asking for it to get done, or having to argue over it first, and in the course of that evening, I yelled at my kids, fought with my husband, ate some chocolate after I put myself on a sugar ban, and then stomped off to my bedroom and cried.
Many small, bad, rotten, nasty, cranky choices. With all those earlier good intentions!
It didn't take very long to realize I was wrong. Well, I mean, don't we always know we're kinda wrong in the moment, but we kick Jiminy Cricket behind us with the toe of our cute cowgirl boots, like he's not even there? I had to go seek forgiveness from everyone and their brother over the next few hours.
I even considered knocking on the neighbor's doors and apologizing to them too.
Later, I stood there gazing adoringly at our pretty fall-itized house and it was like God very gently and lovingly whispered some correction to my heart, "If you put out a pumpkin bedecked in liquid gilding but have not love... and if you carefully arrange your son's collected feathers in a crock but then yell at him because he's up on a chair messing it up, you become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol... and if you fluff pretty pillows and throws but have not love...you are nothing."
And then I cried again. Cause it was just one of those days.
I felt heavy conviction over the tiny choices I've been making in a few areas of life. I want to look back in hindsight at the DECISIONS I made and know in my heart that I pleased God with every little choice that went into those decisions. That said, here are a few photos of our fall-itized house, and though it's so fun to move things around and change things, and clean and fluff it for pictures, (I can't lie) I'm schooling myself to concentrate a whole lot more on my actions inside these prettily decorated walls right now. Which I think... is probably what we all really want if we're honest. Pretty inside and out.
inexpensive idea: Use a $1.99 chalkboard from JoAnn's, (they have a light pine frame and a gray chalk surface. Swipe the pale pine frame with "Special Walnut" colored stain and once dry, spray paint the light gray chalkboard with black chalk spray paint for a vintage looking schoolhouse chalkboard like the one above.
couple of changes can instantly update the entire feel of a room when it's been done in neutrals overall. I still love this room the most because it's calming. (I'm in it right now typing this!)
(1 Corinthians 1-2) "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing."