Monday, January 6, 2014
Finding my courage
In the mean-time I thought I'd share some post-holiday house fluffing with you...(Can you even call it that when everything is so bare and sad-looking?) And then when you least expect it...I will vomit out what's on my heart toward the bottom of this post.
Er. Now you're expecting it.
Well I haven't gotten my groove back yet so what can I say?
Do you love a friend who "gets" you? Might be the best present I've ever gotten.
I hugged it and carried it around with me for a while.
Then I promptly spray painted it white. (It was black before.)
Then I added a string of cafe lights through the grill on the back and made it into a marquee light.
And then I moved it around all over the house until it found it's new home.
Then I fell madly in love with it all over again.
shop re-opening next month. I'm having so much fun with it!
I am a pessimist by nature. I know some of you who have never met me in person are a bit surprised to hear me a say that. I do try very hard to be encouraging on this blog because for goodness sake, have you watched the news lately? Often that encouragement probably portrays itself a lot like optimism but I am outing myself once and for all. I am married to an optimist and I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't I'd always be sure the sky was about to fall in on my head. I'm not kidding. When I look back on the past year I tend to see the things that went wrong and my man generally steers my thinking back to what went right. I love that about him. (And boy do I need it.)
This coming year I am facing a few new and adventurous opportunities that scare me to death and wake me up in the middle of the night. (Probably because I was dreaming about how bad they could go. See? Pessimism.) However, I keep getting nudged and encouraged to jump out of this nice, cozy, "safe" little box I prefer to live in, and simply go for it already. (Though I feel no nudge about public speaking and will forever run the opposite direction of that for as long as I possibly can. Just saying. A girl does have her limits.)
Anyway, I was curious what you do when you know you should do something in life, but it terrifies you to the core. You know in your bones that it's the right thing, the best thing, the thing that will change you and forever leave a stamp on you for the better... but your mouth goes dry just thinking about it and you suddenly want your mommy.
I'm like the cowardly lion. I lack courage. I don't have a "word" this year... but I have allowed myself to live in a sheltered little world with walls of my own making, where I really didn't need much courage to get by. (She hollers, "Well, I'm in need of a little bit now!!")
I'm mentally sucking the optimism out of this verse; Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."
Don't you love that to pieces? Now hear the same portion from the Message; "I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting go. I’m telling you, ‘Don’t panic. I’m right here to help you." (emphasis mine)
I love it even more now. Probably because Mr. Optimism (aka Adrain) always tells me things like that too. He says things like, "Everything is going to be fine. Don't panic. I'm here and it's all going to be okay."
And you know what? It always is. In twenty years with the man, it's never not been okay.
I think my glass of courage is half full already.
How about you? Anything scary that you're working up the courage to do?