Tuesday, June 24, 2014

That time I didn't understand the word "blessings."

So yeah it's Summer.

I just completed a discipleship class on the book "Good and Beautiful God" and am digging in to the She Reads Truth study on Ruth.  What I love about She Reads Truth, is that it's a fork.  (You know, as in, they hand you a fork and you feed yourself some meat and potatoes right off the figurative plate?) I don't know about you, but I have been needing that. 

I've been quiet here because I've been working my way through some things.  Hard things.  And I am emerging out the other side and hope that I can encourage you today.  The first thing I actually struggled a long time with (even though I knew it wasn't right while I was in the midst of struggling with it and trying not think that way) was thinking that my hubby's downsize and our subsequent losses of incomes, freedoms, perks, flexibility were God punishing us for not being more grateful or for not being better stewards with what we'd been given, when we were living in a time of "blessing."  You can't imagine the guilt I have batted around these past few years over this one.  And that should have been my first clue... since God doesn't heap guilt on our heads.  If He did we'd all be crushed by it, from all the wrong we do in this life!  Which leads me to the second hard thing I finally worked through.  My mistaken view that God's blessings were only in the forms that I perceived blessings should be in- alongside the rest of the world and how they look at "blessings."  Such as financial breathing room, vacations, good times in our jobs (not necessarily just financial gain but enjoying it and such) etc.  The third hard thing I have been chewing up one side and down the other, has been a relationship thing.  Realizing that some relationships really are seasonal and you have to let some of them go even if you're not ready for that to happen. A side to that, was realizing that as long as I still wanted something from that person, I was tied to them and until I forgave them, I would always be tied to them.  Hardest lesson yet.  (When I forced myself to think through what exactly it was that I still wanted from them it came down to prideful silliness.  Pride makes a fool of us all if we let it, I suppose.  I wanted them to know the ways they hurt me and made me feel insignificant and less than the other friends they have, and people they make regular time for that I see splashed up all over facebook (collective Ugh right here) or some sort of apology for not listening to me when I tried to tell them all of this.)

So what I learned over the past few weeks and couple of months about all these hard things all boil down to this one key thought for me.  It's all a blessing.  

Stay with me okay?  I wrote this in my She Reads Truth journal today and I wanted to share it.  "Thank you God, for never leaving or forsaking us these past four years, even if outward circumstances made me feel that way.  I looked around (mistake) and saw the great bounty bestowed on others around me and mistook that as favor on them and therefore lack of favor on me by comparison.  I missed that a blessing can actually be in the midst of lack OR of plenty.  I missed that "being very blessed" is often what we say in reference to having a lot or being successful or in reference to material MUCH.  But that's not really what it is and we're kind of wrong when we say that... "Blessing" is anything poured out on my life that is meant to bring about the ultimate GOOD in my life. It makes me want to start seeing "blessing" in a new way.  He gives plenty to some and less to others but He promises to give us a hope and future, so I want to be a woman who takes all things- good or bad as a BLESSING NOW (not down the road, when the bad has worked itself out.)"



It helps me look back at my man's job and think huh... that was all meant for something for our ultimate good.  We can see things that wouldn't have come about without those squeezes.  And you know what?  They are GOOD!  When I look at relationships I can apply this too... if there is painful relationship that God is bringing to an ending... it's a blessing. How can I not forgive the hurts it has caused if the entire thing has been meant for my ultimate good?  Both the having the delightful friendship... and the losing what I thought I would never actually lose?  All blessing.

This majorly helps me and if there is anything that encourages you in whatever you're swimming in, or fighting to hang on to or shaking your fist at the sky over, take it from God as blessing and give thanks, because He loves us so... He doesn't want us to see him as a great punisher up in the sky but rather a loving father that keeps us safe by giving us boundaries.  (Which sometimes hurt, in the moment.) Praise Him!  

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 *And on a lighter note...Don't forget there are only a couple more days to join our party and get your Disney princess eyelashes on!  (See my previous post)  You can order your Younique products here...

17 comments:

  1. Oh Sasha, this went straight to my heart!! I can relate to some of your thoughts. All is blessing....going to be pondering this!! Thank you for being so honest and transparent. :)

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  3. Honestly Sasha. You wrote this for me. I have been feeling all of the above written words for awhile now. xoxo

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  4. This is what i almost got sucked into with the pride thing, so i have been not liking my work place for the last couple of years long time yes not the acttual work its fine its my manager and other people in the office of directors and vp's its very red and blue and they love their titles, i am a very professional employee can speek to all levels of employees and can have fun at the same time. I even went as far as to interview outside the company and all the while praying and asking God for a sign or something i could use never not trusting Him oh i have prayed so much on a daily basis for the people in the office wether it was for the doer or receiver of something wrong i prayed for myself to forgive and have patients for them have given them the benefit of the doubt making excuses thay they may have other things going on in their lifes. I just did my best work with grace. So three weeks ago on a friday my manager sat at my desk at 930 and informed me that a coworker that i've worked with for 6 years "resigned" and at 10 she had an interview for a repacement i' m stunned and said thamk you for letting me know, after lunch we bump into each othe in the hallway and asks if i have a few minutesif i didnt its ok i said sure i do we went to her office she shuts the door sits and says "The department is going through a reorg and that my position will be eliminated by the end of the the month and we have two other jobs for the taking, i told her that i knew this is how i would be leaving the department it was just a matter of time she was surprised but not as surprised as when i asked if she had a third option, her jaw dropped and said oh i dont and she never thought id never as this question that dhe would get back to me and as i left her office she says to havea good weekend. Im a 20 year employee and can see the wriging on the corporate wall. I called my husband on my drive home told hi what happened and could not believe that it actually happened you see i told him a couple weeks ago how i would be leaving this department, the first day was rough many tears and almost pitty and why me then as i lay in bed i start my prayers and realize He gave me an answer i've been asking for i'm getting to move to a new department and environment to learn something new. Blessings yes in everything everyday, every good and bad season. I have three days left then off to a fresh start and new blessing by his doing. Hope you are feeling better.

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  5. WOW!!! God WORKS!!!!!!!

    Just what I was supposed to here young lady!

    God Bless YOU!

    Vanessa

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  6. Isn't it the best feeling when we experience a breakthrough like this!!!! I'm over the moon for you as I have struggled with the same issues in the past and coming to the other side was such a wonderful gift! He is so good to us!!! Enjoy this newfound knowledge and freedom sister! Can't wait to see how your world is impacted because of it!!! (cute cupcakes)

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  7. Thank you for sharing the realness of life. It is amazing to me when these breakthroughs happen and you just know the Lord is whispering in your ear. The relationship issues are always the hardest. It is hard to accept that people come and go and I always wonder what I did wrong. The good thing is there are a few that stay through the good, the bad, the ugly. I know you have some really cool friends from what you share here. And just looking at your sweet family, what a blessing! There are a lot of things on fb that just need to be ignored or deleted, you have a great life serving God and that's all that matters! Enjoy your blessings Sasha and thank you for blessing me!

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  8. Thank you Sasha for those words. I really needed to hear them today because I have been struggling with letting some people go out of my life, especially the person who I thought was my best friend but turned out to not feel the same way. It hurts really bad to see her hanging out with people (dang FB!) who I thought were my friends too without inviting me and then lying about it. But now I have seen who my true friends are, especially this past week because of some rough times in my family. The ones that have sent me messages in support I realize are my true friends and I am blessed to have them.

    Hope you have a lovely rest of your week!

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  9. I have that book. It's good. I love how He speaks to your heart and helps you along the way. Those hard refining times are enough to about do us in, but it's necessary and part of the process. Part of seeing the blessing. Love you girl.

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  10. Have you ever heard Laura Story's song "Blessings?" There was a time in my life when I listened to it ALL the time. It's so true.

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  11. I love that he is writing his word on your heart.
    He is doing the same thing over here.
    We'll never be the same.

    I will never forget when I began to read Jeremiah 29:11-14 in a different light.
    No doubt. His plans for us are good. He wants to prosper us.
    It's just that sometimes we are prospered through hardship.
    It's just true.

    Ultimately, God created us to know him and glorify him. We can absolutely trust that everything he allows is filtered through his loving hands.

    After years of letting my circumstances rule my feelings and past hurts dictate my trust or (lack of it) in him, I am SO grateful for ALL that he has taught me over the past 5 years.

    It's crazy to look at our sufferings/hardships/trials as blessings, but if they bring us into more dependence on him, if they cause our lives to shine his glory, then we can say..it is all well with my soul.

    love to you, friend.
    All of this is excruciating when you're walking through it. I never want to diminish how incredibly hard it is when we face trials of many kinds...

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  12. Sasha, a beautiful, heartfelt post. And, be assured that no matter how old we get, we never stop learning how "all things work together for our good." Life can be tough but HE is always tougher and HE is in the business of blessing for sure.

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  13. Absolutely just what I needed to read today.

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  14. As always, your place is like a breath of fresh air. I love your boy's sign in his room! A few years ago, God asked us to make a decision - and I so understand your challenge. When God asks us to go or do - we don't expect all the unexpected things that come up. So glad you are reaching for the grace in it. Doesn't it feel sometimes like your a watering can with a hole in it? If I try to fill it up - it just goes right back out - but when I let Him do that filling - the watering can that's me stops leaking - but that's a hard thing to always remember to do - at least for me. Still admire your beautiful heart!
    ~Maryleigh

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