the beauty Ava created in my camera... Then I cried my eyes out.
Okay I didn't... but I almost did. She's so NOT A BABY anymore! As I scrolled through my camera I was blown away by how much she is changing and I am not anywhere near ready for it.
This stage paralyzes my heart at times. Then I cheer wildly the next moment because this was the whole point... watching them grow and become independent little people.
And that my friends, is where I walk a very delicate parental balance... this in-between the places of childhood and adult.
The other day this occurred to me- I don't remember the very last time that I swung one of my kids up onto my hip. How did I miss it? How did I not know in that moment, that it was the very last time I would do that? How would I have savored it, had I known... And I won't know the moment when it will be the last time I will hold them on my lap and cuddle them. (So far my son still tries to make himself very small and do this- don't tell him that I told you.) I mentioned these thoughts to Adrain and he agreed saying that just the other day he held Ava's hand walking into the grocery store and he wondered when the last time he would hold the hand of our kids crossing a road... Oh it's so bittersweet this growing up thing!!