Friday, September 19, 2014

Living in the land of "I'll get to it eventually"

I LOVED hearing all the responses and emails from my previous post about blogging and if it's dying, etc.  It reinforced my thoughts on finding balance and doing it when I feel it.  (Like today.) That felt good.  Because people, can I say that I am living in the land of "I'll get to it eventually?"

I have the feeling that you get this.  I say it constantly and then it goes on tomorrow's to-do list. Ha!  Well what can I say? It's the way it goes when you're only one person.

I've got bits of fall peeping out here and there, and I'm not going to say the words, "I decided to keep things simple this year," because I've read those words on just about every decorating blog I've seen over the past week (which admittedly was very few since I can't seem to get my today's to-do list crossed off until tomorrow and that leaves very little time for blog reading).  It just made me laugh.  I have no idea if a tray with candle-y things is simple to you.  It's a bit fancy for me to be honest, since I'm more of a single pumpkin on a table kind of girl...but I love it at night and we eat dinner by the glow of pretty so I plan to enjoy it.

(We can just lift the tray when the puzzle-mania takes over.  We can't seem to get enough of puzzles these days.)  I think it's helping our family work though conflict. Ha!  (But I kind of mean that.)

 I made this feather art.  It's available in my shop.  I love it. (More on that at the end of this post... eventually. Ha!)
 I'm keeping it real.  If one more person smears their fingerprints over the front of my microwave... bwahahaha!

Every time I pass this sign, the singer in my head busts out, "Don't push me.... cause I'm close to the edge... I'm tryin' not to lose my head... Uh huh huh..."  And then I laugh and laugh.  If you have any clue what I'm talking about I love you.  If you don't, it's just a song.  Kind of my theme song with the battle against fingerprints. 
 Yes. I have a Christmas sign hanging up.  It's from Tiffini, and when it came it was too pretty to keep in the box.  It won't stay here but I needed to see it.  I keep thinking maybe I should hang it better or center it or something. Yeah.  Maybe eventually. (Realistically, like when I move it for Christmas.)
 I will get to this eventually too.  I wanted the fur pillows from Pottery barn... but three Euro sized fur pillows at $60 per pillow wasn't happening so when I got a gift card from my mama for my birthday... I bought these throws from Marshall's and I plan to (eventually) sew my own covers.  These kind of sewing projects are messy and freak me out.  I'm procrastinating until the weather officially turns.
 I hung these.  We have zero counter space and I thought to myself, "Hey self... why not use your wall for storage!"  I have a gaping hole in the wall, laughing at my poor contracting skills.  I will eventually patch and paint it...
 Pretty sure this is the longest any project has taken me.  Took me weeks to assemble this huge chalkboard.  It's still not hung.  I'm hoping my man will do that this weekend.  Because I love it so much I want to marry it.
 
I have been laughing through this post, at my own schedule but my kids aren't even in sports right now.  The truth is, my heart is a little sad because I see my friends with such full schedules that there doesn't seem to be any room for well... friendship time with me. 

I know this is a busy season for most of my friends because their kids are doing things my kids aren't doing.  We pretty much have ballet and guitar outside of school and once wrestling season begins in the winter, we'll put guitar on hold because I'm not capable of doing more than one activity a week per kid.  I just can't.  For most of my friends, the people they find time to hang out with are the ones doing the same activities they are in.  It's understandable but it's also kind of sad when there's not a free hour to meet for coffee or a little walk with me, (Have friendship- will travel) and I guess I'm feeling a bit lonely watching them all scramble around, and missing their company!

I'm so afraid that admitting that all out loud makes me look like a freak and I don't want anyone to feel judged, I'm just kind of missing people is all. Can anyone out there relate?  If so, what do you do about it? Just make new friends that aren't too busy to fit you in, and hang out with the old ones when their schedules free up?  

On a lighter note, this feather print is my absolute heart right now.  The back story is of course, my son.  He loves birds.  He knows every fact there ever was to know about birds and he collects these feathers.  I don't talk much about his Asperger's out of respect to him, but it's been a real challenge for me in particular lately, and God gave me a little sweet piece of hope this morning about my son's heart after praying specifically about that for the past few days. I borrowed a few of his feathers and then painted them, and every time I see this print, I will think about the incredible boy I was blessed with and how his challenges aren't too much for a God who gives an exhausted, lonely, hurting mama refuge and HOPE when she needs it desperately.  Praise Him.  (You can get yours here.)

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." 
Psalm 91:4
 photo PostSignature_zpsb6968ede.png

22 comments:

  1. Hi Sasha, such a lovely post today. I totally understand what you're talking about with the friendship situation. But I'll have to say I've been on both sides of the situation with being lonely when my friends were busy (I had my children much much younger than my friends) and I've also been in the very very busy season of my life when my kids were teenagers and it seems like all I did was chauffeur them around to their many activities. If I had to do it again I'd try to limit to one activity each per season but that's a different story. I was so busy for that long season of my life that I rarely had time for my own siblings and friends. I did however stay close to a GNO group (all our kids were the same age) and for the last 25 years. We try really hard to meet once a month (and we were generally successful) and we were each other's life line going through the trying ordeal that we all call "teenagers". It made all the difference. We all need our girlfriends. Can I ask a question. Where did you get the white pitcher you use for your kitchen utensils. I've been looking for something exactly like that for the same use. You're on my prayer list as you go through the teenage season. My son didn't have the same issue as yours but issues none the less and I just know he will be an awesome young man. Now can he not with great parents. Have a blessed weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I loved this. That's how I feel now so we'll see how it goes as they get older. The pitcher was a random find at Marshall's last spring. They have them all the time, many kinds. And usually under $5!

      Delete
  2. Friendships ebb and flow around here. I'm in a season with one still at home...homeschooling nonetheless and I SO get it. I'm a one activity/kid kinda gal too...but 4 kids means basically four days a week. I still text or pick up the phone and call and ask anyways because you never know when we can squeeze a quick soul fill in. Funny how God gifts me what I need when I need it, even though it may not be as much as I think I need. Hang in there and keep finding ways to make connections happen. You need them. I need them. Our people need them. All this to say, sometimes you have to venture out and create opportunities. Make them happen. With the kind of girl you are, I know people would love to be blessed by your real life friendship:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I needed that encouragement Janine. Just the part about God will give me what I need... why do I forget that? Praying He gives me an extra does this week though. I could use it!

      Delete
  3. I just want to give you a big hug and have you over for coffee. Would now work?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Funny how we all struggle. differently but the same, you know? Love your willingness to be vulnerable. My girls have always been super active, I have a husband who works 70 hour plus weeks, and I also work full time, so I have always struggled with finding time for friendships and relationships. However, for me, I realized that some things can't go (work, kids needs, grocery shopping!) , so I have to pick and choose what I can do, and that life has lots of seasons. I have a close group of women I meet with monthly for bunco, that restore my soul, and otherwise I have very little time for "hanging out " with friends.. Now that my girls are teens it actually is less noticeable because they and their friends fill my house, and I absolutely delight so much in them, and their conversations, that I don;t need so much outside contact. I text a few key friends religiously for encouragement and commiseration, but largely I am finding I need to save my reserves for this growing young adults. It's an amazing and hard season, and I know it will pass too soon, and then I feel like I will be able to pursue more of my own relationship nurturing. (I know there are many who feel they need their own time, but I think it is a personal thing.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My hubby puts in very long hours too and often they are 60+ hour weeks. I get that!! I think you are right about this age needing us to pour into them... I just still wish I had some buddies to go walking with a few days a week or something. Just that face to face connection.

      Delete
  5. Dear non-freak: WE SO need to live in the same city! I'm at the stage where I also have time for coffee and a little ME time -- and everyone around here (for the most part) works. I wish we were close enough to even have a half-way meeting spot!!! Love ya friend! ~Sal

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that constantly Sally and I am SO glad you are on Instagram. I'm always telling Adrain, "Oh look... Sally did this..." He just smiles because he knows who you are! So cute.

      Delete
    2. THIS ABSOLUTELY MADE MY DAY -- you SAW my comment!!!!!! I don't know why I am continuing to get emails telling me my comments failed on certain blogs. Oy. Instagram is FUN, and I'm glad I found you there [as well as the million other places that I follow you [because, HELLO! *wink] And, the really good news is that I am soon going to inherit my girl's iPod!!! -- so I will be able to do real-time posting on my own instead of her posting photos that I email to her. Don't laugh -- I may be totally inept at first!!! -- but I am excited to go from a "music only" iPod to the "real thing." Things are so backward around here. Our kids aren't as "cheap" as mom & dad -- so they save for the big toys, and we inherit them. LOL Well, at least they take good care of us! [Makes me feel like I'm 80 or something to type that - LOL.

      Don't know what made me stop back here today to see if you'd gotten my comment, but I'm sure glad I did. Just the little "pick-me-up" that I needed. Love ya girlie! -- thanks for the sweet note in my pumpkin picture!!! I framed it the other day -- and am waiting on another canvas before starting a gallery wall in my kitchen. Hopefully, I will blog about it. xoxo ~Sal

      Delete
  6. OH Sasha, can I ever related! We moved here 4 1/2 years ago and I struggle with loneliness. My friends here have busy schedules as they lead Bible studies, have multiple children in sports/band/school, work, deal with unemployment, etc. We get together maybe once a year. It wasn't so bad in the past because I still had three teenage boys going in different directions. Now we are down to one. The other two both left within the course of the last year... and they both entered the Army so it isn't like they can come home for the weekend. All of this to say I do have a good friend who does not live locally, in fact we have only seen each other once in person and that was the time that we met. We keep planning to get together but we live 4 hours away. We text, FB chat, send each other notes, and are basically an encouragement to each other.

    And if we lived closer I would LOVE to "hang out" with you! (even though i rarely comment on here i still read your posts religiously!) It really is kinda amusing as I am married to a man who is basically an extroverted introvert. He recharges his batteries by surrounding himself with peace and quiet, me well I am a semi-verted extrovert.. meaning I may start out as pretty quiet and shy but once I warm up to my surroundings well, look out. I like being around people, ok make that love. Not big groups though, smaller more personal gatherings. OH and the boy who still remains at home, he is his daddy's child.

    I'll be praying for you, ok!?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am just like yOU!! I start out more quiet but then watch out.. Ha! Thank you for those prayers. I am sending up a few for all you sweeties who relate too.

      Blessings!

      Delete
  7. I'm a younger mama, my boy is just short of two and while we have plans for a second, if God doesn't change them it will be a couple more years. :-) I've struggled all my life with friends especially girl friends. It seems today people don't know how to reciprocate so it's one sided or no sided. That or I get self conscience and wonder if I'm the annoying friend that no one wants to hang with. Even though I'm older I go back to that self conscience girl in high school that wasn't popular. Sucks sometimes how no matter how far out of high school you get the friend issues remain the same. What I'm trying to say is you are not alone mama! I'm in that season too! If you ever need to chat or hang out, I think from everything you've posted we're about an hour or 90 minutes away let me know. We mama's have to stick together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I kid you not, that was the loneliest stage of motherhood for me... God blessed me with a group of friends back then but some dishonesty between two of the women sadly hurt and eventually tore the group apart and I have wished for something similar (but better and more honest obviously) ever since. I have some friends I see once a month but it really doesn't cut it and things have changed and shifted as life has moved various people away and added new people. Not bad.. just different. I know God knows. Praying over all our lonely hearts!
      S

      Delete
  8. I rarely...as in really never comment on blogs, but I have been reading for awhile and am always intrigued by your references to your son. I am a speech language pathologist whose very favorite student to work with are students on the spectrum. Seriously they make me smile every day. (I don't live with them, but I do see glimpses of the exasperating side....the sensory room is my speech room as I am the teacher who actually enjoys working with them through their meltdowns. Anyway, there are two books by Wayne Gilpin called Laughing & Loving with Autism: A Collection of "Real Life" Warm & Humorous Stories. You should get them and keep them by your bedside. Then when you have an exasperating day because "it's not fair that we only have two days off and the school is five days" type of meltdown (seriously, I spent a half hour with a third grader with Asperger's working thru that one last Monday during our social skills group) You can read a few stories and laugh and cry and thank God he gave you such a unique child. I tend to hang on to my kids and stay in touch long after they move on because I fall so deeply in love with them. One of my moms and I always say we are going to write our own book. So I will leave you with one more funny from her daughter. Her daughter (who is high functioning, but most definitely has full blown autism) just graduated from college. She has been attending a local college and career bible study. It seems a young man was become taken with her and they have been texting. The other night about 9:30 PM he sent her a text that said "Would you like to have dinner." She replied, "No thanks, I already ate." Her mom and I laughed and laughed because that is so her....everything is literally. Anyway the purpose of this extremely long comment is to say I understand your frustrations, but I know you have a billion funnies and warm stories of your own to keep you going when things get rough...if not there are two book fills and I have more to add! Patty

    ReplyDelete
  9. I find that I have "seasonal" friends. This may sound weird, but in the summer for instance, my friends that are either teachers like myself or don't work we tend to gather together daily....then school rolls around hanging by the pool takes a backseat. Then I have sports friends. The ones I spend countless hours at the ball fields with. Then there are teacher friends I see daily during work. Church friends, Junior league friends.... It's like a cycle. Not saying friends should come and go or that they should only be seasonal. But friends come into your life when you need them the most. Of course Golden friends are always there. And reaching out as an adult to our friends is the hardest thing for some reason. We don't want to ever seem "needy" right? But we need our girlfriends and the connected feelings they give us. So you are not alone girl, we all struggle to feel deeply connected to others and crave it honestly. If we were closer I'd insist on a walk and talk! I love following your journey as a mother and artist. You inspire many with your honesty and kindness. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. May I just say that the feathers and what they mean to you have made my day. What a powerful reminder that God is always here for us...no matter the struggle. Thank you.
    Also, I applaud you for not overscheduling your kidnicks. You are not alone in missing your adult friendships...I have felt the same way. This season will pass...eventually. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. always love seeing your fluffed spaces....
    i'm the friend that has such a full schedule, i haven't made time for friends. :(

    my classes, the kids homework, the kids soccer schedules...it has me locked down.
    classes end next friday for me, and i can't wait. i've got lots of friends to catch up with....

    ReplyDelete
  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  13. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete