Tuesday, December 30, 2014

There was an ugly cry at one point.

I'll be honest- I'm a little tired.  I sat in a coffee shop across from one of my besties yesterday and told her that I don't even really care about the New Year.  I didn't say it in that "tone" like I'm loathing what's to come.  I said it in a sort of softly accepted peace, and a not over thinking it kind of tone.  I don't have a word or a goal or a deep thought about 2015.  What's going to come is fine with me.  I'm going to take it one day at a time.  I might change a few things, and I might not. I'll turn 40 this year and I'll celebrate 20 years of marriage. Some big changes are on the horizon for us and I'm pretty sure I'm coping by laying it all down since I can't control any of it. That's a good place to be in.  
 











 I'm tired mostly, because of the fullness of our December.  It had a few unexpected moments... some challenges and bumps of course.  But at the same time it's included amazing opportunities for my son, some gift purchases for loved ones that made us tingle with joy, some funny moments where we clutched our sides laughing harder than we thought possible.  It's packed in some deeply intense heart to hearts.  Some honest moments in coffee shops with hearts laid bare and stories open.  This month has included day trips, old movies, fudge baking, girls nights, manicures with my mama and cute dresses.  It's been filled with pretty instagrams, memory making, tradition enjoying, picture taking, dance recitals and whispered conversations long into the night.  It's been filled with dreams, anticipation and sweet and salty popcorn.  It's been a month of good hair days having finally hit that certain length which requires little effort.  It's been a December for serving one another, showing love in new and unique ways, staying up late, drinking lattes and running in the rain.  We packed in work, vacation days off and that one precious day where we stayed in bed until 11 am.  We made time for naps, Jesus and family.  We did everything we wanted to do and more.  We did things we didn't want to do because they were important when weighed in the balance. We said no. We said yes. We stayed up late, and went to bed early. We set out to be intentional and we succeeded in almost every area.  We were imperfect yet persistent.  We kept the main thing, the main thing and it mattered.

Then there was the gift.  Adrain and I married young and we struggled hard to make it work being young, broke and lacking any and all life experience.  One could say some of those struggles clouded our entire future, another might say that they colored it.  I tend to lean toward the latter.  I wouldn't change them.  But... being the girly type girl that I am, I did always long to see that quintessential little aqua box with the famous fall-apart white bow someday, and I knew I would cherish that moment more than about anyone I could possibly imagine, in light of my past with this man I love and the places we've traveled together from.  I would have been thrilled with a key chain!  Christmas morning came and suddenly there it was and I had no clue so the surprise shocked me deeply!  My fingers shook, I felt the tears welling up and before I knew it, I was holding this little teal box crying my eyes out.  The kids were trying to get me to open it but I couldn't do it... not yet.  I knew it would be something lovely and simple but it was such a precious moment and I wanted to savor it as long as possible.  In the printed card, my man called me his "lovely archer"... I carefully opened the box without messing up the bow because I didn't want to ruin it. (A girl can be emotional and practical at the same time.)  Inside was the prettiest little arrow necklace... but his words... it was all in his words.  He said, with his chocolately brown eyes smiling at me, "This gift is to encourage you as your raise up our children in this second half of parenthood."  Ugly cry, full on at this point people!!  It was the most precious gift he has given me yet.




I love Christmas seasons like that. As a family, we loved hard, and in the end that's what made this month different than most other Decembers I can remember. January is my least favorite month so we'll be having a quiet little 4 person gathering to ring it in, complete with a disco ball from Party City and glitter-covered sparkling drinks in bottles, and we'll make it fun because our kids like that. What a nice way to end 2014 and welcome 2015.

Happy New Year!! 

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{P.S. for you longtime readers- my kids really don't like me saying too much about them here anymore.  There are several kids, parents of classmates, and even teachers at their school who have found my blog and instagram... which I totally love, but my kids... not so much. {Some of those people found me in social media because my kids told them about me. Guess they didn't think too far ahead on that one. Ha!} That ties my hands a bit as I want to be honoring to Joe and Ava's request for privacy, yet they are part of my life and I do blog on that!  I haven't figured it all out and sometimes they care more than other times... I try to check in with them before I hit publish but I just wanted to mention this in case you've seen a decrease in photos of them and stories that involve them.  Life is funny.  I didn't have to worry about this back in 2008 when I started blogging! And any moms of kids this age who have advice, ideas of tips on how to move forward, feel free to share!}

11 comments:

  1. oh sweet friend..i got teary just from the title...and then ( while i had already seen the insta) hearing the story about the necklace just touched my heart! you love so well my friend & i totally respect you and how you share your heart
    love you friend
    and the archer story just gets me. way to go adrain. way to go. xoxo

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  2. That is just awesome and you are blessed with this story that you will hold in your heart. Love your little disco ball as well, I hope 2015 is a great year for your whole family. ~Hugs~

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  3. What a beautiful post, Sasha. I LOVE your telling of the little aqua box - talk about an amazing experience. I bet your man was walking on air in anticipation of you opening it. :) Don't sweat the quiet NYE - who knows what that will hold for you & your family. Blessings in this new year/new chapter.

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  4. Sasha I love your posts!!!!!! Beautiful pictures too!

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  5. Awe, such sweetness, especially the necklace. What a thoughtful gift! Blessings abundant to you and your precious family!

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  6. What a precious love you and your man have. You continue to be an inspiration to me! Happy New Year and here's to taking it as it comes!!!

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  7. Beautifully written! I love reading your blog posts, for several reasons. The way you write is definitely one of them!

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  8. So glad you had such a December as that! It sounds perfect. Although I'm sure there were moments ... I totally get your feelings about the new year, everyone is a little burnt out. Here in Sydney, we have a month of school holidays before I really have to face the year and all it brings ;-) My girls are also more sensitive about what I post, at 17 & 15. But since I only have a few readers (despite 7 years of blogging!) it is not such a big deal, although I'm careful of course to write and select photos with care. It's hard, isn't it, when they are such a huge part of our life, and their ups and downs are our ups and downs? God bless, love your blog as always and IG posts. And I have to say that Christmas at your place is an absolute delight to behold.

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  9. Um those Christmas cupcakes!!!! Would LOVE a tutorial on how you did a red and white swirled icing! I think it's great you are being so respectful of your children's desire to have a say in how you communicate about them. It's how anyone would feel if they knew they were being written about. It's a scary thing not to have control over how you are being represented so I am sure they appreciate it. :-)

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  10. I was reading the story of your home - love it! You have a beautiful home. Where did you get your outdoor lights from? The strings? We can't seem to find them anywhere!

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  11. Did you make the sign, with His eye is on the sparrow vs? My fav song and would like to know where you bought it or diy info. Thanks do much

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