Sunday, January 25, 2015

Responses

I must respond to you guys over my previous post. My inbox has swelled up with private messages, heart wrenching stories, encouragements and empathy. While it grieves me that so many of us are barely keeping our heads up in the waters of relationships, it encourages me that we are able to relate and come alongside one another in encouragement to keep one another afloat. 

While sifting through all the nuggets of truth and honesty from you all, I narrowed ALL of this encouragement down to these bullet points for myself... but I am sure it can serve to encourage each of us so I'll share, because that's what we're here to do right? The stories came from women of all ages and stages. We all seem to get one another and I'm grateful, more than I can say. I hope this encourages us all:

*Be understanding. Sometimes we react to misunderstandings with hurt feelings and that cause a spin cycle of more hurt. 
*Be quick to forgive. This one covers all the hurts, not that they won't still be in your memory but they don't have to rule you OR how you approach future relationships. But it must be intentional and specific if you know the areas that you're sensitive in. 
*Be outwardly focused. Remember that life is not all about us or what others pour into us... it's about what we pour into others and sometimes yes, relationships wane or end. Accept that God might have planned that and while you're riding the roller coaster of figuring if that's His will for the relationship or not, actively seek to bless others and be there for them. (Yet keep those boundaries in tact if there's a relationship that takes and drains. Keep yourself healthy while being focused on being a blessing!) 
 *Don't give up. Life is ever changing, as are the cycles of friendships and a lonely day today may lead to a bosom friend tomorrow. You just never know. 
*Realize you're not alone in these feelings. Nearly every single woman has a story and can nod her head when you tell yours, and even if no woman on the planet gets your hurt... God holds every tear you have ever shed, in His palm
 *Don't hold out for specific types of relationships. Seek out those before you and behind you and figure out how you can do life together where they are at. 

I think that represents the majority of the collective wisdom and encouragement that I have gleaned from your emails and comments so far.  I can't tell you how it has helped focus me personally back on track and I love you dearly for it. 

God is for us and He desires us to have relationships so that He can be reflected in our love for one another. 

So let's do that. 
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{I will be sharing something SWEET on Tuesday that I think you're going to love- hint... it will include a free printable watercolor from me so please check back for details on Tuesday!}

{Also for those of you who read these posts on Facebook... I'm not there any longer.  I might return one day, but I needed to close it down so that's what I did.  I'm sorry for any inconvenience that caused but thank you for stopping in here to read!}

9 comments:

  1. good stuff friend, good stuff!!
    love your sweet & big & tender heart!!

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  2. Thank you! I just caught up on yesterday's post and can totally relate. I am sorry for your hurts but so encouraged by what you are doing here. You are brave to share and a blessing to so many of us who read your lovely blog but rarely comment--we may not be friends in "real life" but I'm so thankful for this way of relating to each other!!!

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  3. I typed a response yesterday and then poof it disappeared. I love your suggestions above. God's got us and is always our best friend. I got off facebook a long time ago and have not regretted one second of that decision. Have an awesome week!

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  4. While sad on one hand, it is certainly encouraging that thee are so many of us struggling thought this time of life together. Thanks for sharing this with us.

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  5. I'm not sure if any of my comments ever show up. They just disappear. Anyway those responses were perfect. What a beautiful community we have at times to lift up and encourage. We have to focus on those good ones. And toss out the others...

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  6. Hey Sasha, I know exactly how you feel. These are great words of wisdom - but it can be really daunting to stick your toe in the waters of new friendship once you "grow up". I am in a similar situation - we had a really good group of friends pre-children and were close as the kids began to grow, but now we're all just too busy with tweens and rarely catch up at all. The fact is we move in different circles now and my husband and I feel very much "on the outer", although he is probably still a bit closer to the men. As for me, I don't really have any "close" friends... certainly not a bestie. My closest friends are the mothers of my daughter's friends and we only really catch up when our girls do. It's sad. I try too, but I am not a bubbly person. I am friendly, but struggle to start conversations with strangers. I don't have a plan yet, but know I have to do something about it this year.

    Sorry to ramble... but I get it. I really hope things work out for you and I'll be taking on all the tips too. If I didn't live in Australia, I'd invite you around for a coffee :)

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