pussy willows (hate that name) and have been enjoying many flashbacks to my childhood spent gathering these soft treasures. I've been doing some general nest fluffing for the beat of my heart that says spring is approaching and with camera in hand, snapped some shots of the day. Nothing special- just our home life in photos. I've sprinkled them into this post. I especially loved some sweetness in my daughter's room. Her flute laying over her desk seat and her orchid in bloom, and horse collection. I'll miss these things someday...
3) I'm preparing for a very special house guest in about two weeks time. I can't keep it in any longer. I'm so busy right now that I haven't had much time to think about it, let alone make any fun plans, though I have sewn a scrap of black, dotted fabric for a new pillow cover and moved some of my art around, including this over sized print from my shop which is perfection over the guest bed. As for the planning... I need to get on that! What's your favorite thing to do when you've got a house guest from out of town?
2) I officially deleted my facebook account. At first I only deactivated it but I was still getting notifications from people every now and then- it was weird. I just wanted to shake it off and be done. I can't say I miss it in the slightest... though I'm sad for those of you who read my blog via my LMM facebook page which is no longer there. There was a camel's back and a straw and it was time to GO, yo! (grin)
1) Lent. Okay let's talk about this. Adrain asked me the other day, what I was planning to give up. After a couple of weeks mulling it over, it's going to be more about what I'm doing rather than what I'm specifically giving up. I'm focused on a couple different things, one being that I want to get up earlier each morning so I don't feel so behind, and I want to put my Lent study time first. I'm not a morning person and I never have been. I've spent a good majority of my life feeling like I must be extraordinarily lazy because of this. You don't read a lot of encouraging bible verses about those late sleepers getting it all done and being prized above rubies and such. So enter constant feelings of failure. My body and brain just don't seem to function well before 7 am. There I said it. On weekends it's more like 8 and I'm not kidding. So I decided to give up that part of self that wants to stay in bed and get that extra hour of sleep... I plan to put my new espresso machine to good use and pop that baby on, snuggle in next to my bookcase, with the soft lights beaming down on me, bask in the presence of God before my hoodlums begin to stir and see what happens during the season of Lent. This roller coastered me into praying half the night last night, over a few other things that I'm feeling particularly weak in right now, and I went over them like pearls on a string, one at a time, letting them slip through my fingers as I laid them out for Him to see. I professed that in my own strength I can not accomplish any of these things and I asked God to be very present in my weakness and help me during this season while I draw near to Him.
Which brings me to this. I've been so aware of my own weakness lately because I've been watching my big strong man struggling in the area of physical weakness. He had an old football injury in his shoulders which has been perpetuated due to the physical side of his day job. He has been in so much pain as of the last few weeks and I've never seen him anything less than completely strong and tough. He can pretty much lift anything and still shows off his bench pressing skills to me on occasion much to the chagrin of our children who are very much not impressed by daddy's showing off for mommy. Ha! It's been heartbreaking to watch him suffer lately, and he is facing surgery now that physical therapy is over etc. I've depended on his strength for twenty years and I've been very emotional about his injury which is weird, I know. Watching him ice his shoulders every night and not be able to lift heavy things.... well it's hard on a girl. But it prompted some deep thoughts this morning about my selfishness (also one of the areas of weakness I prayed over last night.) Here I have been, feeling bad and of course sorry for his pain, but if I'm raw and completely honest with myself (and you dear friend) I've been more sorry about how it affects me and how it changes things. Are you kidding me Sasha?! It took until this very morning for God to gently convict my stupid, selfish heart that I haven't even thought about how it must feel for a man who was completely capable and among the stronger of men out there to suddenly be unable to do what needs doing. It humbled me that it must be hard for HIM to be so hampered in his job and how frustrating it must be for him to feel weak after a lifetime of never feeling that way. I immediately reached out to him and told him the truth- that I am so appreciative of him and proud of him and that I still look to him for the kind of strength that matters- his heart and character. He responded that he really appreciated my encouragement and I'll be honest... I cried. I cried that it took me 3 whole weeks to become sensitive to his needs (and of course he almost never complains.)
Anyway. The point is that I'm working on bettering myself in the ways that matter and I've got my areas of focus for the season of Lent. It will be lifelong, make no mistake, but the general fasting from self is my aim.
How are you dear ones?