We arrived at the Bozeman hospital and through tears, sat in with the hospice meetings and went in to see Grammy. They didn't think she would make it very long. We held her frail little hands that didn't look anything like Grammy's hands anymore (I'd never seen her without nail polish) and stroked her soft cheek and told her that we loved her. She didn't open her eyes and we cried...but we got to be there. It was heartbreaking. She passed away late last night, shortly after we had landed back home.
I should be doing a million other things like unpacking, laundry, sleeping... but I had to share the photos I took this past week. For some reason, I didn't bring my camera. I don't know why... I just didn't. But I had my phone and I took a lot of photos of things that I wanted to remember, and things that held memories for me and then edited them on the plane ride home last night. I hope you don't mind if I share those with you as I remember my Grammy this morning. It's kind of how I process. I loved her so very much and knew that she loved me. I'll see her in heaven someday so that's what I'm focusing on today. She always called me Sashie or Darlin'. I'll miss that. I'll miss a lot of things about her and her house like the way it smelled and her cinnamon rolls. It was strange being there without her in the kitchen snapping her fingers and being her cute self.
It was heartbreaking taking home a few mementos of her to hold dear. But also beautiful in an odd way. I got a couple of her cameras for my collection and I love that she took baby pictures of my Mama and Auntie with one of them. I got to bring home a stack of her pretty hankies. A lady always carries a pretty hanky... and she always had a few up her sleeve. Butterflies remind me of her, as she had them all over her house. I took one off her door and it will hang in my home now.
We got to eat breakfast at the tavern. That totally made my day. My Mama said, "Oh gosh I hope I don't see anyone I know," and my brother said, "Mom, it's 10 o'clock on a Tuesday." There was a little pause then Mama said, "Yeah. It could happen." We laughed ourselves silly over that one. I'd never been inside the Tavern so my Uncle made sure we went in through the bar entrance just for me... and there were a few cowboys sipping coffee in there. I loved that.
I can't believe that I'll never walk into her house again, breathe deeply because no place on earth smells like Grammy's house, and see her waiting to hug me. I'll hug her in Heaven and I'll love her always. So glad she was my Grammy.