Saturday, April 4, 2015

When the water of life boils around us

(Images from this past week) 

I recently got a phone call. The kind that changes things, and your heart sinks.  The kind that feels like the bottom you've been standing on just got yanked out from under you.  That call led to more phone calls and plans for meetings and plans to make plans and last week felt pregnant with pain and heartache as I once again processed things I thought were dealt with... feelings, emotions, motherhood failings and what if's.  Each night Adrain and I huddled together in our bed, holding hands and each other and evaluating things, while we poured our hearts out to one another and then to God, asking Him to guide us.  And then there was only silence because in the end there is nothing more than "Help us Father." 








 This I know.  Life is meant to have trouble.  If not for trouble, we would never need a Savior to turn to, never reach for a stronger Hand, never raise our eyes for help we can't offer ourselves, and never have cause to praise Him and cry out to Him.

I read a quote a couple of weeks ago that said something like "The same boiling water that hardens the egg, also softens the potato."  And it hit me... This moment was my boiling water.  I've been in it before and I'll be in it again, probably for the rest of my life, off and on.  But am I an egg or a potato?

As I was crying my eyes out, I felt like my body was trying to make a choice.  A watershed moment.  To let this harden me... harden my heart toward God, for allowing this story... harden it toward the circumstances, and even (dare I admit) the child involved? To let this make me hard for life. 

Or.

Let this pain soften me.  Gentle me.  Press my heart into a soft mushy paste that sticks to others and loves deeply and trusts even harder?  "Which do you want?" my tears demanded of me.  I paused and then I praised.  I thanked God for my story. For this moment.  For this pain.  For these questions and these unknowns and I let the tears fall in a steady stream of warmth down my face.  Because in the end I want softness.  You can't do much with hard objects other than crack or break them.  But soft ones can be molded and shaped and used.

How about you.  Are you in some boiling water of life?  Are you going to let it make you hard or soft?  It's like a maze and the only way to get through the walls and barriers and out the other side to softness, is acceptance, trust, and thankfulness. 

Psalm 121 The Message

I look up to the mountains; 
does my strength come from mountains? 
No, my strength comes from God, 
who made heaven and earth and mountains. 

He won't let you stumble;  
your Guardian God won't fall asleep. 
No on your life! Israel's 
Guardian will never doze or sleep. 

God's your Guardian 
right at your side to protect you- 
Shielding you from sunstroke, 
sheltering you from moonstroke. 

God guards you from every evil, 
he guards your very life. 
He guards you when you leave and when you return, 
he guards you now, he guards you always.


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14 comments:

  1. This is an awesome post. Bless you and whatever it is you may be going through.

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  2. What depth!!! Praying for you as you walk through this and come through a stronger person than before. Life can be so, so tough and we often wonder if we'll be able to make it. But, thankfully we serve a God that is bigger than any toughness we will confront. Easter blessings to you!

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  3. Egg or potato? A brilliant visual! Sometimes I need that to put things in perspective. Thank you. You all will be okay and things will look better. Prayers are with you and your family, Sasha.

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  4. And the only thing you have control over is perspective...praying♡

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  5. I really wish your family and you all the best, let the hardship end...
    Sending lots of love

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  6. One of my tag lines is "I had to be there, to get here." You're there, honey. But you'll get to where you want to be. Keep the faith. Blessings...

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  7. Thank you so much for sharing this!!! :) I absolutely needed to hear it. The water has been boiling more often than not in my short life. It just so happens that mashed potatoes are pretty much my favorite...I boil potatoes and rinse away the starches they leave behind at least once a week. This metaphor is one I get and one that I'll be reminded of often. If I could hug you, I would!

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  8. Thank you for writing this. I read your blog always, and you, more than any other, always a help just when I am feeling like I can't do it any more, with gentle reminders, that I have a God that loves me. I am a single mom, and have been for many years, to two teenagers. It is a tough job, and I have felt these boiling waters more times than I care to count, but His Grace is enough. I choose to be the potato!!!

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  9. I had just eaten a boiled egg when I read this post! But really, I choose the potato! I'm so glad that you have your good husband who also trusts in the Lord to walk alongside you through this. I hope those swirling boiling waters achieve their purpose quickly and without too much pain to you all, keep trusting in Him. Take care xxx

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  10. Often it is the most trying of circumstances that change us for the better and for His glory.

    "Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
    But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy" 1 Peter 4:12-13

    Always wishing you and your family the best,
    Tonya

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  11. So thankful for you and for your heart Sasha. Thank you for being transparent and vulnerable. Thank you for choosing softness.
    My faith is strengthened as I watch the lives of my sisters and brothers who choose Jesus over self. He blesses me through you.

    Praying for you each.

    Love,
    Analene

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  12. Thank you for your post. I have felt like I am in boiling water lately with some health issues. Familiar anxiety of the unknown has surrounded me once again. I needed this reminder to continue to trust The Lord for my future.

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  13. I am not in boiling water (Thank you God), but I always leave your blog inspired to be a better person... Not to be so hot-headed and quick-tempered... To see the good in even the worst of situations... To realise that certain things are sent to test us and yes Hindsight is a wonderful thing - but I hope to learn to make the right decision AT THE TIME - to slow down and appreciate the lesson, good or bad.
    I hope things get better for you x

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