And if I actually can make it over that finish line, it may have killed me. (I think I write this post every year and every year it feels like the worst it's ever been at this time of year.)
I mean, we've got teenage HORmones shaking our foundations and our nights are a whirlwind of who's picking up who at what times, and threats of, "You'd better be ready and waiting for my car to pick you up right at five because we have to bust it down the road to the next thing for your sibling so don't dilly-dally and under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to eat dinner at the school because for crying out loud I went to all the trouble of making dinner earlier in the day which nearly killed me in between work and errands, and we are going to EAT AS A FAMILY at 8 o'clock tonight if it kills us, so help me God!"
And then later, the moments of completely losing it when said child eats dinner at school anyway, people start running late all over the place because of it, nobody wants to eat the dinner that was pre-prepared, and the night snowballs and somewhere in there I really stop caring if homework gets done.
Hypothetically speaking, in case any of my children's teachers happen to be reading this...
(Though if you are... please stop. Please stop giving home work. Make them do it at school please for the love of all that is good and right in the world. Because we simply can not. We are done... so very done. We're doing good to get everyone in bed in one piece before midnight, and making lunches is a straw that breaks the camel's back. Homework is not even on my radar anymore. I gave it my all for eight months but I'm a broken shell of a human being and my fragile mind no longer has the capacity to do anything but throw a bottle of water and a wadded up half costco sized bag of goldfish crackers out the window to one child, while rushing off to pick up the other at night. Okay that might have been a tad dramatic... But the story about the water and goldfish wasn't exaggerated. Nor was the part about bedtimes. Nor was the part about the homework. Or the part about being a broken shell of a human being. Okay it was all true.)
I felt desperate for a calming change.... It wasn't needed of course, just something in me longed for it. It could be all the end of school forms, the permission slips, the overdue payments for lunches, the lost library books and the, "Mom I need to bring three bags of chips to school for the party THIS MORNING!!" type of moments.
Three weeks... three weeks... I can do it.
At the end of the day, paging through what we have right now, the fact that we made it to that hour, finding a way to sift through the worries and grasp onto that thankful moment, wherever it is, has been key. I need to do a better job of it myself... that being thankful in the midst of frustration and hurts always makes a difference. Laying it down and relying on God to carry us through each circumstance is the goal. Right now, I am thankful for seasons. Thankful that they don't last forever. Thankful that He oversees all the details.
Holding onto that. How about you?