Monday, June 22, 2015

It's always a boat

I'm sitting here, in a puddle of sunshine.

A dear friend of mine and I often feel like we go through life's similar situations at the same time.  We have laughed about this for years and joked about being soul sisters.  It so often feels like a God-designed connecting point for us because when nobody else in our sphere quite gets it... a simple text and we both realize that we're not alone.  We just have to know someone else can say, "Been there, done that" and mean it.  Or... "Am there... doing it!"  Which is even better.  

We've both been doing the She Reads Truth Summer study.  This morning hit me on so many levels.  I shared one aspect of it on Instagram and will leave that one there... but another aspect of today's study hit me elsewhere and my friend and I connected instantly because we are both facing the similar rising tide of life changes all of a sudden.  Some unknowns on our horizons.  To me, it feels a lot like a roller coaster ride because I've been here too many times before and I tend to get mad and want to get off immediately and make NOTHING CHANGE because though I often love change.. I also completely hate change. 

Actually, that's not 100% true.  What I hate about pending change is the faith journey that I've got to buckle up and prepare for.  Once I'm in the thing, I'm normally good to go.  It's gearing up to say yes to the journey that I resist for some reason.  Today's devotional talked about the biblical story of Naomi and her journey with loss and trusting God with an unknown and rather bleak looking future.  I wrote in my journal, "God always oversees our pain and always has an ultimate redemption plan for it.  Our pain is never wasted."  (I also wrote about how nice it is to have someone like God who is so dependable that writing always and never about His character actually works but that was a side note.)

I got to the point in the morning where I shed some tears over the situation and then prayed and laid it out before Him.  I was afraid to ask this given my past track record of misinterpreting any small thing as a "sign"... but I asked for slammed shut doors right away-immediately-(today even) if this path wasn't ultimately His will and I also asked for flashing, flaming, brightly it, unmistakeable neon arrows if this path was the one He wanted me to have faith and move onto.

I felt immediately reassured by God as I wrapped things up and flipped my study book over to tomorrow's page- the story of Ruth.  An entire page greeted my eyes, showing a photo of a woman in a boat headed toward a city with this sprawling verse over the top of the image saying, "You hold my future." Psalm 16:5.  The image of a woman in a boat headed toward something felt like a faith metaphor... God may be asking me to once again get into a boat and approach a new thing.  Truthfully, we seldom get anywhere in faith without stepping out over an unsure/unstable surface. (Dangit.)  God always offers us a trusty vessel in which to travel securely to the destination in and nothing ever happens along the way that isn't overseen by Him as part of His ultimate plan.  The boat is our faith vessel, the water is life's unpredictable and unknown future, and choosing to cross the water in a boat is so representative of trusting God with our very life and saying yes in our actions.

He NEVER lets us down when all is said and done, because He is ALWAYS there, directing our steps until we take our last on on this earth.  So here I go again.  Putting on my life jacket and trying to ignore the small waves lapping against the sides of this fragile craft I'm about to step into.  The paddle feels familiar in my hands but the rocking as I settle myself on the seat always makes me a bit seasick and worried.  Praising Him for being the One who steers my boat.    

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