Monday, October 19, 2015

While I bawl and walk on the treadmill...

The air is crisp and perfect for layers and boots right now.  The sun is shining through my dirty windows and the house is still.  I snapped a few photos that have nothing to do with this post and I should be getting ready to get all the details done before the week hits but I can't.  I just finished walking on my treadmill, while watching an episode of "Call the Midwife."

I have gotten so sucked in that show that I can't even walk outside right now, because I MUST combine the latest episode into my daily constitutional.  (I just said that in an English accent, which I have quite perfected after all this delightful BBC love + Downton Abbey.) (Someday my English loveys, I shall come for you and sip tea with you!!)  (That was not a threat.)
 Anyway.  I find faith applications while watching almost any show, but something about the whole idea of Nuns, finding your calling and bringing babies/the miracle of life into the world, has gone straight to my heart as of late.  I am so glad my local library has these videos!! Every time I'm walking I find myself crying and praising God for little nuggets in these storylines.  I know, I'm a weirdo.  Today was over the top in every way because I was full out ugly crying by the end of the episode.  I'm in season two where one of the nurses feels called to the mission field in Africa and as her companions send her off, the narration talks about how our faith makes us brave. I had been crying for a full five minutes before that but that moment was the ugly cry.

I mentioned a few posts back, that life is about to take a turn and come spring-time, I'll be willingly facing one of my biggest personal fears.  It's one of those fears that is really all about me- it shouldn't be, and if I wasn't so selfish it probably wouldn't be one of my biggest fears!!  Just being honest.  The point is this.  It's a fear because I lack faith!

If I had more faith, I would be BRAVE!

So, with those words of wisdom I willingly plan ahead to practice faith, and I am finding that being thankful in ALL circumstances is one of the surest ways to grow those baby seeds of faith!  (See how I did that... I just threw in something that connected babies and being thankful.)

I don't know where you're at, but I have gotten a ton of private feedback from many of you as I talk about being thankful versus fearful.  So I can't think that I'm the only one here.  It's that moment when you're doing something you are terrified of, and as you step forward, though you want to run the other way, you turn your eyes and heart upward and say, "Thank You God, for this opportunity," and that thanks moves you forward into braver territory.  That sort of thing.  In HIS POWER and His strength, we can find our courage and we can do things!  (I want to end this on a fist bump to each of you.) Go girls! (And a few boys.) (grin.)

Give thanks... which builds our faith as we recognize that He is in charge... which makes us brave to do hard and scary things= we all win.  
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Dionne Adams said...

Trying to be brave and step out of my comfortable box tonight. I really see God in this opportunity, and so I must say, "yes and thank you and I will". Thanks for your words. They are exactly what I needed to hear.

Lisa said...

Well done as Jenny Lee would say. We all can't be as wise as Sister Julienne, but it is true gratitude makes nearly anything bearable.

Lea said...

Oh, I love, love Call the Midwife, just the greatest show and I often found myself crying too. Blessings abundant as you step out of your comfort zone. I'm sure HE has great things in store for you.

Eileen Donoghue said...

You're posts have been even more uplifting and inspiring for me than usual lately. I am so grateful that you are able to put your heart into your words and that I have been fortunate enough to come across your blog and read them. I've read, and re-read about 5 times, your post about thankfulness and fear and can't believe how much better I feel every time the words sink in. Thank YOU for the gentle reminder to be thankful and the boost of courage (and the fist bump!) to do scary things. <3 <3 <3

paige said...

i love you friend xoxo

onescrappychick said...

Whatever your "thing" is, I send your strength and courage. Your posts have given me strength and courage as well. This week, after years, heck, decades of pushing it aside, I have taken the steps to start counseling so that I may begin to start putting pieces of my broken self back together. Why has it taken this long, when I know that it would do me a world of good? Because I am 150% afraid. Afraid that if I went in and said, I want to talk about this thing.. then we would have to talk about all those other things. The big things that I don't want to talk about. But I know that in order to be whole again, I have to talk about them, I have to deal with them, and heal from them, and move forward. So here's to giving thanks to God, for all the good things. For strength, and courage. Today, I add a thanks to you. For helping me to find my strength. <3

Jensamom23 said...

I binge watched "Call the Midwife" recently...Hang on and enjoy! That step between fear and faith can be hard. I believe we all struggle with comes with the territory of Faith...
Wishing you all the best.

Kerri said...

As I sit here reading your post, I am thinking about how I had a good cry last night. (Remember a while back we talked about social media and some and much of its nasty, ugly attributes?) so this morning I realized that maybe I am being just plain selfish and have started praying to God to make me less selfish! Sometimes I wonder why fear, and selfishness are rear their ugly heads more than strength and humility?

ChrisS said...

Thank you for sharing your "thing" with us and your walk through your fear! I'm a widow and you see I struggle with fear and anxiety since that day 3 1/2 years ago. As a business owner and a now single mom of a 15 year old, I'm afraid I won't measure up. Yesterday my mom sent me a message and said "gratitude" was on her heart to share with me, don't fear but be thankful and have a heart of gratitude. Your email came and it was a God moment for me, confirmation that I need to look out instead of in and be thankful for all I do have. I pray for courage and strength for you and again thank you for sharing!

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