I've been so mad lately, and I've been having angry dreams which is totally unlike me and very odd. I told my kids that they could invite a "friend or two" to trick or treat with... and my son invited at least a dozen kids. He hasn't ever been one of those boys that got play date invites or many birthday party invitations, and hasn't got a best buddy. Never has. I watched him call and invite friends and of course they all had plans. It made me mad to watch him shake off rejection and the fact that that is his story, so I'm doing my best to get over it while I pray frantically that at least one boy shows up. My angry dreams were of me, doing things like yelling at a house full of kids to eat oatmeal for breakfast but they couldn't hear me for some reason, and one or two kept wandering off every time I tried to get them to all sit at the table! I had another weird one about walking in to the house filled with kids, and every single room had been taken apart and was a huge mess, and nobody could hear my voice even though I was yelling as loudly as I could. I think I need a vacation! Does that ever happen to you? Of course I take all my dreams apart and analyze them with Adrain. Somehow it helps. I believe dreams aren't always random. Ya know? Apparently I'm freaking out about not being heard in this house (true) and breakfast has been an issue lately (also true), and the thought of having more than two kids in my house is stressing me out. (Again, truth here, as I've always got children that don't belong to me in this house after school. They just start knocking on the door and lounging on the sofa and eating all the food and even though I know this was part of the ministry God had intended for us several years ago when we felt like He was reshaping how we did life... I think I'm overwhelmed! Maybe just a tad...)
However that brings me to this. The other day I was reading something about something BIG someone else was doing (Oh I know.. you don't have to tell me not to compare) and I started to feel kind of like a failure in the "Do big things for God" department. I mean four some odd years ago we thought for sure we would be able to downsize our house (mortgage payment), lifestyle, go on lots of missions trips, etc, etc, etc. Of course nothing went down like we thought and we were downsized alright, just not voluntarily... yet big things are happening again around here and even the yucky things have been like blazing arrows pointing us down a lighted path that it feels like God is clearing the way for us to walk on. It might be months until I have details for you. I look back and can see exactly how God led us through a sort of dessert place to get us to a place flowing with proverbial milk and honey, and all the mission we could possibly want (or handle, truthfully) just in a totally different capacity than we ever imagined. I can't share details of any of that either but I do know this- Adrain and I have been given a mission as a couple that only he and I could have done and you'll have to take our word for that one. It was for us and only us. If all the things we'd thought and prayed to happen had come to pass we would have completely missed out on this thing in our hands today. And isn't that the glorious, beautiful, messy, heartbreaking way of it sometimes? It might not be moving mountains but it's loving on some individual hearts that are very precious to God and we get to be His hands and feet directly! Life changing, all around.
Okay truthfully, I'd love to sit here and chat about a ton of frivolous things but kids are walking in the door in a moment and I've got to hurry. However before I go here is a whirlwind of by the front door before you head out topics- 1) I have an addiction to latte art youtube videos. They are crazy awesome. 2) I made a huge neck warmer and I have gotten about two dozen compliments and I'm telling you it stopped traffic at Costco the other day, making my man just roll his eyes and laugh. I used huge needles and size 6 yarn and it is my very favorite thing- like ever. 3) I rearranged the studio/office/guest room and I hate it but it's got to be this way. I really will have to share... 4) One of my besties, Alli has been making me almost pee my pants for the past two days over Halloween emails and if you could read what the two of us say to one another you would die laughing too. She is a bad influence in the best of ways. KnowwhatImean? 5) I have a VERY COOL diy to share on Monday- it's a Pottery Barn knock off advent calendar and I'm getting tingles just looking at how awesomely it's coming together (see above photo). 6) I'll also be having a Younique party on Monday via the virtual world and I'll share more about that as well as a couple new vintage ornament prints that I'm very excited about! Gonna be a fun week next week!