I was born a natural pessimist and I have to work intentionally hard to fight that. Hence, the whole "making lemonade" thing... If I can force myself to see the good and recognize it, I'm halfway there. I live with two amazing optimists. They see the positive side of everything and it inspires me. They seldom worry, convinced that it's all "going to be okay." I would give my right arm to be more like that.
But the truth is, I'm supposed to be more like that. As in, walking by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). I'm supposed to lay my future into the palms of God's hands, where He has engraved my name, and let Him do whatever is best for my story. (That part always makes the pessimist in me cringe because I secretly worry that He might allow bad things to bring about my best.)
paralyzing me. I actually can't remember a time in my life where I was so terrified of what could happen. Adrain was cautious but persistent in his belief that we were making decisions that would be best in the long term and I was stuck in the "right now" of it all. We fought a lot to the point that I couldn't even discuss the subject with him. That's not good ladies. We need to be able to discuss things with our men, even if we don't like the story line. There are too many marriages out there where communication is lost and slowly, so are the marriages. I course corrected, talked a LOT to God about it all and ultimately recognized that He wouldn't allow any life actions that wouldn't ultimately bring about His own glory, hence bringing about whatever changes and situations in ME that would be for the ultimate best as well. It was a process. I cried daily. I avoided friends because I felt like a train wreck.
And then I realized how pessimistic my view of it all was. Every possibility in my mind was the worst case scenario in which God could only see fit to bring about the ruination of this family, this home, my marriage, and our finances. Um. Why do I do that? Can it go that way? Sure. But do I have a personal track record with God where He intentionally smashes every aspect of my life and personality into dust to put me on whatever path He has for me? Absolutely NOT. He has often done things I didn't understand and often I have felt heartbroken pain for those things, but so far, always in hindsight, they made some kind of sense to me and the object I was left holding in it's place was far better than I could have imagined had I only known.
these things. They are jewels that can't be bought and I'm keeping track because it reminds me that He gives me so much. This alone has been changing my mindset. It's not just a November thing. It's a lifestyle thing.
SO here I go girls. Thankfully putting my daily moments into His capable hands. He's got mine and He's got yours. Let's believe this together.
P.S. My shop is still open... but it closes down again this Thursday Night at 8:00pm. Click here to shop.